“Were you scared to talk to your parents?”
“I was so scared, I didn’t speak up for weeks, and I nearly lost Savannah in the process. I hesitated about going public with our relationship, and she wouldn’t put up with that.” He smiles, looking out the window, as if lost in a memory. Then he shakes his head. “Tell me what’s up, Tee. Why are you asking about this?”
“I’ve been thinking about my future. Everyone in my family went to Ivy League schools, and Oliver and Jenna are going to work at the firm. I’m not sure what I want to do with my life, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do that.” I take a deep breath. “The application for Yale’s early decision was due yesterday, and I didn’t turn mine in… I don’t know how my parents will react when I tell them.”
“They’re good people. I think you could be upfront with them.”
“Even after all the trouble I’ve caused with my father’s campaign?”
He sips from his coffee cup, thinking. “Last winter, my mom had lunch with the governor’s wife. All Mrs. Harrington wanted to talk about was how I was dating one of our jockeys and how odd that was.” I expect to hear anger in Jack’s voice, but it’s calm. “By the time summer rolled around, Mrs. Harrington couldn’t wait to meet Savannah and introduce her to her daughters. She thought Savannah would be a good role model for feminism or something.” Jack smiles at that.
“So Mrs. Harrington got over it?”
“Some people just don’t like change, and it takes time for them to accept it. They’ve gotten used to me dating Savannah. After a while, no one cared anymore. At least not the people who really matter, like my mom and dad. They came to understand how much I love Savannah.”
I think of Ezra. Will people get used to him doing construction instead of joining the family business? Will they grow to accept it? I certainly have, because it makes him happy. Even though I wish he’d reconsider, I respect his wishes.
“Your advice is to just come clean? Let my family know I’m a big ole mess and have no direction?”
Jack smiles. “Yeah, and the sooner the better. Then you can start figuring out what you want to do instead of worrying about what your parents will say and pretending everything is fine. Just come clean.”
? ? ?
Jack walks me out to my car and opens the door for me.
He gives me a quick hug. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”
“Will do.” I slide into the driver’s seat, and he shuts the door. I wave good-bye to him as he heads toward the pasture to help round up the horses; the sun is beginning to set into a haze of gold and purple. After talking with Jack, I’m still scared to veer from the path I’ve been on for years, but the desire to take control of my life outweighs that fear.
First things first: I send Dad a text. I really need to see you. Can we please talk?
Then I turn the key, start my engine, and drive home. Once I’m in my driveway, I check my phone and see I have a bunch of missed calls from Dad. He didn’t leave a voice mail, but he did send a text.
Can you please come home? I’m here.
I take a deep, quivering breath and clutch my phone in my hands, relieved that Dad wants to talk to me. For him to go two days without speaking to me just about broke my heart.
With three days until the election, I’m surprised Dad’s at home this evening. When I arrive in his study, the door is open, and he’s sitting in his armchair by the fire, nursing a scotch.
“Dad?”
He waves for me to enter and gestures at the couch for me to sit down. After a moment, Dad joins me, bringing his drink with him.
“This must’ve been a rough couple months, huh?” he asks.
“The worst.” A few tears leak out. “I worried you weren’t going to talk to me again.”
He pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry. Your mom and I needed time to think about what you did. All of this is so unlike you, Tee.”
“I know…”
“Why did you cover for Ben?”
“His parents don’t have a lot of money, and going to St. Andrew’s was his big chance.”
“If he hadn’t been your boyfriend, would you have covered for him?” Dad asks.
I carefully consider the question. “I think I would’ve tried to help any of my friends. But I didn’t think it would get so out of control… I know now that I should have told the truth from the start. I’m so sorry about your campaign, Dad. So sorry. I wanted to come forward and tell you what happened, but I thought it would just make the situation worse.”
“Your instincts are right. It’s too late to do anything about the election now. Any statement we put out will look like a last-ditch effort to win back voters.”
I nod, continuing to cry, and Dad pats my back.
“I know I shouldn’t start our conversation this way,” I say, “but I have to, because I need to get this off my chest. I’m really upset with you, Dad.”
He goes still.
“I’ve been killing myself at school for years. And it’s like the minute I made one mistake, you were so ashamed, you didn’t want to be seen with me anymore. You never once asked me to join you at a campaign event, and that made me feel like I wasn’t part of the family—like you weren’t proud of me. I’m really sorry for what I did, but it was even worse knowing that you and Mom were so pissed you didn’t want me by your sides anymore.”
His eyes never leave mine as I pour out my soul.
“I make great grades all the time, and my SAT score was almost perfect, even though math is hard for me. I was exhausted all the time because I took on so many activities, and you didn’t even mention my hard work in your campaign commercial! In it, you were so proud of Jenna and Oliver, but it was as if I didn’t exist. That hurt so bad, Dad.” My voice is high pitched and shaky. He reaches over and squeezes my shoulder.
I pull a deep breath. “I didn’t send in my Yale application.”
Dad’s eyes widen. “You didn’t?”
“I wasn’t sure why I should, other than that it was expected of me. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life.”
“You have to start somewhere. Why not Yale? It’s a good liberal arts school. Besides, I thought you wanted to be an analyst at your grandfather’s firm.”
“I only said that because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. But, Dad, I don’t have any interest in investing. I don’t even like math.”
He pauses at the bombshell I just dropped. “Well, what do you like?”
“Museums, soccer, animals, coffee. Ezra.”
The corner of Dad’s mouth lifts into a small smile. “Well, you absolutely cannot major in Ezra Carmichael. I forbid it.”
I chuckle at his joke. “But what about the rest?”
“Tee, the reason I’ve always pushed you so hard is so you’ll have options.”
“I hate staying up so late to study. I feel like it’s all I do. And I’m worried if I go to Yale, it would be more of the same. I’m not lazy…I’m just…tired.”