This feels like that time in elementary school when our parents took us to Six Flags Over Georgia, and Oliver went missing. I ran around searching for him. What if he got kidnapped? What if he fell down a manhole? What if he fell off the Mine Train ride and got trapped in a tunnel?
It turned out he was gorging on ice cream sundaes at Big Mo’s, but my heart didn’t stop racing until we arrived safely home in Franklin that night.
This morning, I wait until I see Dad’s car pulling out of the drive, and then I rush downstairs and out to my car before Mom or Marina can stop me.
I sent Ezra a couple of texts, including one that said Donut Palace?
No response.
I decide to skip coffee today.
By lunchtime, I’m yawning my ass off thanks to no sleep and no caffeine. I join Chloe and Alyson at a round table and unpack the lunch Marina made for me. Alyson starts chattering about Maya Henry, a musician who graduated from Hundred Oaks last year. Apparently, Maya uploaded a new song she wrote to YouTube last night, and it’s just amazing. I nod in response.
“What’s wrong, Tee?” Chloe asks. She started calling me that after hanging around my brother and Ezra.
I shrug. “My parents and Ezra are pissed at me.”
“How come?” she asks, popping a baby carrot in her mouth.
“I did something super stupid and didn’t fix it when I had the chance…” Since we’ve become close over the past couple months, I take a deep breath and explain what happened to my new friends. Their eyes grow wide at the story, and they both place a hand on my arms, supporting me.
“That sucks,” Chloe says, and Alyson agrees. I’m grateful neither of them judges me for what happened.
“Can we do anything to help?” Alyson asks.
“Distract me,” I reply with a tiny smile.
Alyson tells me how she’s planning to dress up like a sexy train conductor tonight for Halloween. Chloe’s going as a butterfly.
Halloween. I forgot it’s Halloween. I glance around the cafeteria. A bunch of girls are wearing cute mouse ears. One guy has on devil horns. Another is dressed up like Barack Obama. I really must be out of it if I missed all that in my morning classes.
Ezra and I didn’t make plans to go to any parties or anything, but we were going to trick-or-treat in my neighborhood this evening. I figured it would be my last time to do so, since I’m going to college next year and all. I won’t be a kid anymore.
While Chloe chatters away, I check texts under the table to see if Ezra sent anything. Nada. With a deep breath, I gather the courage to read the texts from Jenna and Oliver.
Jenna: Are you under the influence of hot construction worker sex or something? I can’t believe you protected Ben. Ballsy. Stupid, but ballsy.
Oliver’s one-word text: Seriously?
I start trembling. He must be furious. I excuse myself from the table to go out into the courtyard to call him. At first, I worry he won’t pick up. The phone rings and rings, but finally he answers.
I begin to say hi, but he starts right in on me. “You lied to me. I asked if the drugs were yours, and you said yes.”
“I know.”
“It’s like you cared more about Ben than being honest with me. With your family.”
“That’s not true! The situation just…got out of hand. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“You made us think you had a drug problem, Taylor. Do you know how much I’ve worried? Sometimes I don’t sleep. I call Mom and Dad every day to see how you are. To get the results of your goddamned pee tests. I considered coming home this semester to be with you because I was scared you were worse than you and Mom and Dad let on.”
Oh my God. “I didn’t want to be a snitch.”
“I’d rather be a snitch than a liar.”
Touché.
“Oll, please, I’m sorry.”
Click.
My big brother hung up on me. I bury my phone deep in my bag and wipe away a tear.
And Ezra… He still hasn’t answered my texts or calls, and I’ve reached out to him so many times, I’m beginning to feel like a psycho. I decide to go over to his house after school. He’s told me he appreciates that I go after what I want, and to me, this situation is no exception.
When the final bell rings, I go to the bathroom to freshen up. My eyes are still puffy, still red, and still rimmed by dark circles. I splash my face with water and straighten my ponytail.
I drive to Ezra’s apartment. When I get there, I can’t hold it in anymore—it’s been such a long day that I start choking back sobs. His apartment lights appear blurry through my tears. Like watching a rainstorm through foggy windows.
I climb the four flights of stairs and knock on the door. His curtains shift a little, and I see him peeking out. For a heartbreaking moment, I think he’s not going to answer the door, but then it slowly swings open.
He’s barefoot, and his hair is wet, as if he just got out of the shower, and he’s wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. His bloodshot eyes don’t look much better than mine. He ushers me inside to stand in his living room. He stares at the floor with his arms crossed.
“Ezra,” I start softly. “Can you ever forgive me?”
He looks up in surprise but says nothing. He chews on his lip, and I’m terrified this is it. He’s going to break up with me, end our friendship.
Then he slowly pulls me against him, kissing the scar on my forehead. “Of course I can.” He talks into my hair. “But I’m still really mad at you.”
“I know.” I gasp with relief, and my legs feel like they might give out. Ezra holds me up, helping me to stand.
“What you did for Ben…you will never, ever do anything like that for me, understand? If I’ve learned anything in the past two years, it’s that a man takes care of his own mistakes. He owns up. Got it?”
“Got it.”
We hug each other, and I sink my fingers in his wet hair, inhaling his scent of lemon soap. He places a warm hand on my lower back beneath my shirt, tracing circles with his thumb.
“You didn’t think I’d forgive you?” he whispers.
“You left so abruptly, and you said you needed time. I didn’t know what that meant.”
“I’m sorry.” His big hands sweep over my back. “I needed to process this. I still do.”
My eyes start watering all over again. “You scared me.”
“I just hope you know that whatever happens between us or outside of our relationship, we can work it out. Okay?”
“I love you,” I blurt, not caring whether it’s too soon to say it and whether he’ll say it back. It doesn’t matter. “I love you so much.”
I’m speaking into his chest, so I can’t see his reaction, but his arms around me grow tense. I hold my breath.
His hands weave through my hair. “I love you too, Tease.”
I relax against his chest and gaze up at him. “Thank you for forgiving me.”
“Always.” A mischievous smirk takes over his face. “Now are we gonna make up or what?”
I playfully shove his chest. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”