Dodger shook his head. “Yeah, I know those things, Mom. That stuff,”—he pointed to the cream like it was offensive—“That’s something I definitely didn’t know about.”
“Maybe you can rub some of that on Dodger’s nips. Maybe he’ll start lactating.” Camden barked a laugh that was so loud a few of the older ladies next to him startled.
Keegan marched over to him. “Would you be quiet. Nobody is lactating or rubbing cream on anybody else’s nipples, now cut it out.”
He grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her in for a quick kiss that I could tell curled her toes. She bit her lip and tried not to grin at him she whispered, “sneaky” before she came back to stand by me.
“Can we get back to the presents now?” Donna was speaking to Camden.
He waved his arm out in front of him as if to say go ahead. He was pleased with himself. It made me full belly laugh, and had thus far been the most entertaining part of the shower. See, inviting the guys wasn’t such a bad idea.
I opened the rest of the gifts with Dodger’s help. I had a few repeat items that would need to be exchanged at the stores, but all-in-all I felt entirely too fortunate. I wasn’t sure there was going to be much of anything that I’d have to get for the baby after he was born except maybe a box of diapers when he was older. People sure did love babies.
“Okay, thank y’all so much for such amazing and beautiful items for my new grandson. I know Macie and Dodger are thrilled and couldn’t be happier. I think what we will do now is go ahead and have some cake and then play some games. That includes the men,” Donna announced.
When the cake was cut, I was offered the first piece. I got exactly what I’d asked for and it hit the spot. Meanwhile, blenders and a pile of different foods were being set up on a table by one of the walls.
“Okay, for this one, Dodger, Paul, Camden, and any of you other men out there come up here and I’ll explain the rules.” She gave it a minute while the three Brooks men and one other came to the table. “So what you’re going to be doing is making your own version of baby food. All of these ingredients, you can mix and match and blend anything you want to make into a tasty combination. When you’re done, Macie is going to judge and pick a winner. You’ll have two minutes to make something appetizing for the baby.”
Keegan passed out four aprons, while the guys scoped out the stash of food. They talked amongst each other and trash talked how they were going to win. Donna stood in front of them all and placed two minutes on the clock.
“Begin!” she shouted.
Dodger grabbed a bag of Doritos, pinto beans, salsa, and jalapenos. He used his hands to crunch up the chips before he put it all in the blender. Camden had diced cooked cube steak, A1 Sauce, tater tots, and mustard that he put all together. I’d missed everything that Paul had put in his blender, but whatever it was it was bright green. The gentleman that I hadn’t met yet used vanilla ice cream, a cup of coffee, chocolate syrup, gummy bears, and sprinkles. The women that could see what they were combining were cracking up and yelling, “who would feed that to a baby?” I had to agree. But in all fairness there wasn’t really anything up there for a child. It was more out of fun. Blenders were roaring to life as all the of men made their concoctions. When they were done they had to pour each one into a cup and set them in front of their blender. The timer went off and I was presented each glass.
“Cup number one,” Keegan said as she handed it to me.
Ugh, could I hold my nose? It’s not that it smelled bad, but the color was disgusting. I tipped my head back as I took the tiniest of sips that I possibly could. Hmmm, Mexican. Jesus Christ, my mouth was on fire.
“How many jalapenos did you use?” I asked, drinking a glass of water.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged.
I set his cup down and moved on. I picked up Camden’s. I didn’t even want to try it. Tater tots mixed with mushed up steak was more than I could handle. I put the cup to my mouth and pretended to take a sip. I made a face.
“That’s awful.”
Camden puffed out his chest. “Eh, balls of steel right here. Just trying to make my nephew be a big man.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, don’t forget your wife is my best friend. You cried when Celine Dion did a live concert on pay-per-view, big man.”
He balked and looked at Keegan. She smiled like that would get her out of the dog house. Moving on. I picked up Paul’s cup. It smelled like fresh cut grass and oranges. His had kale, orange slices, apple chunks, vanilla ice cream, and spinach. To be honest, it wasn’t terrible, but it felt like I was drinking a protein shake, not baby food. When I got to the last guy I hadn’t met, I was more than happy to drink his concoction. It tasted sweet and just like something I’d have blended up at the ice cream shop.
“Winner winner, chicken dinner.” I giggled, grabbing the guys arm.
The Brooks men all scoffed and pouted.
“Let me know when you want a real winner,” Camden stated.
“Babe, you love Mexican. Why didn’t you pick mine?” Dodger whined.
“Mine was at least healthy,” Paul grumbled.
Their sore loser attitudes had me laughing even harder.
“Dodger, have you seen me eat a single ounce of Mexican food since I’ve gotten pregnant? Nope! Now can we start gathering the gifts and loading up the vehicles? I’m ready for a nap.”
The party had wound down, and it didn’t take long for the guys to get over their loser status and start cleaning. I stood near the door as people filed out with candy goodie bags in hand. Thanking each person individually, they all smiled at me and wished me luck. When the last person had left and the cars were packed to the brim, Camden and Keegan said they would meet us at the house and start unloading. I gave Donna the biggest hug, and told her I’d be sending her a thank you gift very soon. When Dodger and I got in the car, I looked at him.
“That was really nice.”
He clasped hands with me. “Yeah, it was.”
“Whoever said men shouldn’t be at baby showers should really try playing games with them. That was classic.”
He chuckled. “Still think you should’ve picked mine.”
“Awe.” I let go of his hand and scratched the hair at the back of his neck. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Mace, I’m driving, cut that out.”
I glanced down. Sure enough he was getting hard. I loved that I could do that to him.
“Better keep your eyes on the road then, Mr. Brooks,” I taunted.
His mouth thinned. “When we get home, you’re going to pay for this.”
“Looking forward to it.” He looked at me and I winked. “After a nap though.”
“Of course.” He took my hand and kissed the back of it.
We drove the rest of the way home in silence. And I’m pretty sure I dozed off part of the way.