“Doctor said he was the biggest baby he’d ever seen. But honestly, I think he was out of his mind when he said I’d be fine going another week. Back then nothing was as accurate as it is today. Either way, I had him the next day, thank heavens.”
I coughed. “Jesus Christ, how was your vagina still intact after that?”
She jerked back. “Macie Rosewood, that has got the be the most unladylike thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Right. Fuck.
“Sorry, Grandma, I just didn’t know Daddy was that large. Someone will have to knock me out if this little man grew that much before delivery. I wouldn’t survive it.” My hands went to my stomach.
“Let’s hope not,” Dodger said, as he came up beside me.
I knew what I said hadn’t actually offended her. She was easy on me because I was her only grandchild.
“Did you find your mom?” I asked him.
“Yes. She’s headed over to the gift table so we can get this opening business started.”
“Perfect.”
“Mrs. Rosewood, may I help you to your seat?” Dodger, always the gentleman.
“Thank you for the offer, but I can manage.”
He nodded and kissed her cheek. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Okay, Dear.” As she walked passed us, she patted Dodger on the butt.
Dodger’s eyes grew wide and I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from my throat.
“Lordy, some things will never change.”
“Yeah, well I see where you get it from,” he said sarcastically.
I shrugged. “She taught me well. Can’t help an old feisty woman for sneaking a feel.”
We both made our way to the front of the very large banquet room. People that we passed briefly said their hello’s, rubbed my belly like I was Buddha, and, of course, offered advice about parenting. Didn’t I say this is exactly what I didn’t want happening?
I finally caught sight of Donna tirelessly organizing presents according to what I’d be opening first. She was dressed beautifully in a pair of dark jeans and a black blazer with a white blouse underneath. Her brown hair was pinned to the top of her head, with no strands out of place. When she tipped her head up and saw me walking toward her she smiled a blinding smile, and came toward me. She was holding in her hand a pin that had ribbons hanging from the bottom of it. Southern people had this tradition that stemmed from high school homecoming. Special occasions such as baby showers and wedding showers, the guest of honor wore a pin called a Mum. Not to be confused with the flower.
“My goodness, you are simply glowing today.”
Donna was beaming. I don’t think much else could make this woman happier than knowing her first grandchild was going to be arriving in two months.
I tried to match her sweetness, but fell short. “Thank you very much, but it’s okay to say I look like I haven’t skipped a meal.”
She chortled. “Macie, I know that being pregnant isn’t the most glamorous feeling in the world. Remember, I carried four boys. But I promise you, you look pretty darn good. So stop thinking otherwise and sit and enjoy your party.” She was busy pinning me, and being the perfect party host. I loved her like my own mother. In fact, I wondered where my mom was sitting. Probably wherever my grandmother was. “I’ll be up here with you while you go through all of this, so let me know if you need anything at all. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. And before I forget,”—I reached out for her hands and grasped them—“Thank you. The venue, the decorations, everything . . . it’s all more than I could have ever asked for.”
I noted the small little crow’s feet crinkled in the corner of her eyes as she smiled. Donna was a stunning woman and looked much younger than her actual age. But her smile lines, and happiness in her eyes showed.
“Anytime, love. Now let’s get this going.” She looked out in the crowd. “Let me grab Keegan for you and she will take care of the gifts after you’ve opened them if you want to pass them off to her.”
I sat in my chair feeling awfully royal. Truly one of the other chairs that everyone else was sitting in would have been perfectly fine with me. Dodger came and sat next to me in the matching one. I giggled. He looked at me questioningly.
“Sorry, but don’t you feel regal? I wonder if this is what Queen Elizabeth the first felt like when she sat in one.”
He turned his head slightly back to look at what I meant. “Well, Mom, wouldn’t have it any other way. She wants all eyes on us. And Queen Elizabeth was known as ‘The Virgin Queen’, so let’s not delve any deeper.”
I chortled.
“I can’t believe the day is finally here. I swear this was about as crazy as planning my wedding.” Keegan practically sang as she came to my side. She bent and kissed me on my cheek. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re in the wrong business. Delivering babies should be a hobby. You and Donna should open your own event planning operation.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hush.”
I patted her arm. “It’s perfect, Keegan. Thank you, honestly, it’s all too much.”
She came to stand right in front of me. “Nothing is too much for my best friend. I wanted this day to be special. This is your first child, and it’s Donna’s first grandbaby. If anybody pushed for all of this, it was her. Let us spoil you.”
Her blue puppy dog eyes made me soft. “Ugh, you bitch. You’re lucky I love you and my hormones are making me all weepy and shit. You’d never be able to pull that one over on me normally.”
Keegan winked and grinned a devilish grin. “I know.”
I laughed.
Clapping her hands, she cheered, “Present time!”
I went through the first couple of boxes, which were filled with clothes, finger nail clippers, and bulb syringes. The amount of blues and greens that filled each present warmed my heart. The generosity of some astonished me especially considering I didn’t know a lot of people here. Some of my favorite gifts were the handmade blankets that several of Donna’s church ladies had made. I was about halfway through gifts when I opened a box that had me chuckling. I held up the box of breast pads and nipple cream.
“Some seasoned moms in here,” I said.
“What on god’s green earth is that?” Dodger asked with his brows furrowed.
“Well, when I start breastfeeding, my nipples will get tender, swollen, cracked, bleed, and who knows what else. The cream will help them heal. And the pads are so I don’t leak everywhere in my bras when my milk comes in.”
“That’s nasty,” Camden chimed in from the front row. His face was that of disgust.
“Be quiet, peanut gallery,” Keegan scolded him.
Dodger leaned in. “You being serious?”
I smiled. “As a heart attack. Why?”
He paled. “Well, I didn’t realize that uh, well . . . I um, I didn’t know that those things could uh . . . Jesus, never mind.”
Donna slapped him on the chest. “Having babies isn’t always sunshine and roses and what’s shown on television. You just wait until that little boy of yours pukes on you or pees all over your shirt when you’re changing him.”