“What if they don’t like me?” Briggs asked for the tenth time on our way to the party, looking at herself again in the visor mirror.
“Baby, they already know you,” I chuckled, grabbing her hand and placing it on my lap as I drove.
“I know but that was under a really sad circumstance. We exchanged maybe five words the entire time, so that doesn't count. They really know nothing about me at all.”
“They’re going to love you. I love you, so there is that.”
“Maybe I should dye my hair? Like a normal color now.”
I glanced over at her. “You’re not touching one hair on your goddamn head, baby.”
She beamed. “I just look so different from everyone around here. Did you see the way the cashier looked at me this morning?”
“Yes. And if he looks at you like that again, I’ll break his fucking face.”
“Austin! He thought I was weird looking!”
“He thought you were something alright, and trust me ‘weird looking’ wasn’t it.”
She sighed, leaning back into her seat.
“I’m covered in tattoos, and in New York I blended in. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here.”
“You never blend in anywhere, Briggs.” I grinned at her. “Besides I’m covered in tattoos, too. You’re beautiful. I love that you don’t look like anyone here. My friends and family are going to love you. I mean, my mom already does.”
She smiled. “I like her too. She emailed me all these recipes that you used to love as a kid. I’m going to make you some.”
I kissed her hand.
We were the last ones to arrive at Lucas and Alex’s house that was right on the water. Everyone welcomed Briggs with open arms, making her feel like she was part of the family. I knew that meant a lot to her since she always felt like she didn’t belong anywhere.
“Baby, I’m going to get some food,” I told her, standing up.
She nodded, talking to Alex. I kissed her cheek and walked inside from the lanai.
“So, how are you doing, bro?” Jacob asked, grabbing some food beside me.
“Never better. You?”
I caught him staring right at Lily, completely ignoring my question. It was quick but I saw it.
“Is that right?” I asked, bringing his attention back to me.
“What?”
“At least she’s legal now,” I joked with a shit-eating grin on my face.
“Fuck you,” he scoffed out, smiling.
“Does Lucas know?”
He shook his head no.
“At least I won’t be the only one he’s ever hated.”
He stopped scooping food on his plate to look at me with a questioning stare and replied, “You think he will hate me?”
“You think he won’t?” I countered with a cocked eyebrow.
“I don’t fucking know… I love her. I’ve always loved her.”
I knew he was telling the truth. The way he looked at her spoke volumes.
“Lily has always had that effect on people. It doesn’t surprise me, man.”
“So, Briggs, huh?” he asked, changing the subject. “You next? Marriage and a baby carriage and all that shit?”
I winced. I couldn’t help it.
“Shit… did I—”
“I’m going to take this food to Briggs,” I cut him off.
Making my way back toward Briggs with my demons sitting right on my fucking shoulders. The craving to use was so goddamn intense. I thought I had a pretty good handle on my sobriety, but the mere mention of what started my demise had me crumbling in minutes. My heart was beating out of my chest and sweat began to pool at my temples.
I was jonesing.
I stopped in the hallway, realizing that I had gotten lost dealing with my internal struggle.
And the irony was not lost on me.
I closed my eyes, needing to get a hold of my emotions. My desire to relapse was running deep, taunting me with each step that I took in the wrong direction. All I saw was Briggs’ beautiful happy face, smiling, laughing for me.
I took a deep breath, turning around. Once again gaining control over my turmoil and plaguing thoughts.
Was it always going to be like this?
“Oh my God, Alex, he’s gorgeous.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, recognizing Briggs' voice instantly. I stood there frozen, listening to what sounded like a baby cooing.
“He is pretty perfect, but I’m biased,” Alex replied, laughing. “Would you like to hold him?”
“Oh… umm… are you sure? I have zero experience with babies, Alex. Is that okay?” She let out a nervous laugh.
“Of course, you have to start somewhere. Here, put your arms in a cradle position and just support his head and you’re good.”
My feet started to move forward through the narrow hallway as if a goddamn rope was pulling them. I found myself following their voices, fighting against the current every step of the way. I knew I should have turned around.
I knew what I was about to witness.