Confessions of a Domestic Failure

Motherhood Better Bootcamp Message Board Entry

Hello ladies and Emily: I took a good stab at crafting this week and I definitely feel different. My family and friends couldn’t believe that I was behind some of my creations! The mugs I made were en fuego. The pillowcase dress I sewed for my daughter turned so many heads. And the truffles I made were to die for. Some of you have asked for the recipe and I’ll get it to you ASAP (do any of you have pets?). I hope everyone is doing well! Can’t wait for our call tomorrow. Xo, Ashley





Thursday, February 7, 9 A.M.

Working from home is the best of both worlds: you get to spend time with your precious children, flex your creative muscles and bring in an income. My first year blogging at Motherhood Better by Emily Walker, I made six figures and that was while my babies slept.

—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better

Aubrey woke up at 4 a.m. this morning which gave me time to think about what’s missing in my life: purpose. Of course Aubrey and David will always be my #1, but I need something outside of them to fulfill me. I’ve decided that since crafts aren’t for me, I’m going to get a work-at-home job. Emily started her empire when she was a stay-at-home mom to three kids, and if she can do it, why can’t I? The only difference between us is that she’s organized, driven, resourceful and...never mind.

It only took two hours searching online, but I found something. It was like magic and just goes to show you that when you want something enough, it will happen. I replied to an ad on an online job board with my résumé and they called me within half an hour. Something about my work experience must have really impressed them. So this is what the Law of Attraction is all about!

My official job title is Customer Satisfaction Specialist for a company called Dreamstar Direct. They didn’t have a website, but when I worked for Weber & Associates we held focus groups to understand consumer trends all the time. I figured this was the same thing—just over the phone. It’s a step down from what I used to do, but I have to start somewhere. The plan is to dazzle them with my skills and work my way up. Six months from now, who knows, maybe I’ll be a team leader with a squad of super work-at-home moms under me. We’ll have conference calls, I’ll convert the garage into my office, and all with Aubrey steps away from me. I’ll have it all.

I may have fibbed a little during the interview. When the raspy-voiced regional manager, Wanda, asked me if I’d ever done work like this before, I said yes. I mean, I have talked on the phone. What could be so hard about doing it from the comfort of my own home? She asked me when I wanted to start and I said “yesterday” to which she replied that I must really need the money.

I would have explained that while the money is appreciated, it’s really just about feeling useful in a capacity that doesn’t have to do with wiping dried yogurt off a high chair, but that seemed unprofessional.

The stars must have been aligned in my favor, because my very first shift starts tomorrow at noon! It’s a short one, just four hours. Wanda didn’t give me much instruction other than that the customers would call me with their needs. These marketing types are so secretive. She was probably worried about my feeding info to a competitor. I’ve made it my mission to earn their trust.

I found a little notebook in the hall closet for writing down customer feedback. I’ll keep impeccable notes and ask open-ended questions like, “How do Dreamstar Direct products make you feel?” and “Do you think Dreamstar Direct values you as a human being?” My shift would fit in perfectly with Aubrey’s schedule. I’d feed her an early lunch, get her down for her nap by noon, and go back and forth between playing with her and taking calls for the last hour or so of my shift.

I’m making $20 an hour. If I work five days a week, that’s $1,600 a month.

I can’t wait to tell David.

It just goes to show you that with positive thinking and a proactive mindset, you really can do anything you want. I’m officially a work-at-home mom! It sounds like the best of both worlds and I’m so excited.





Friday, February 8, 11 A.M.

Working from home is simple. If you don’t have a spare room for an office, create a space for yourself at the kitchen table or in the corner of your children’s playroom.

—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better

Thirty minutes before my first call, I was still working through the paperwork Wanda sent me the night before. The plan was to wake up before Aubrey and learn all about the company, but she woke up no less than four times last night and I was beat. So there we were, at the kitchen table, me with my open computer on one side and a screaming, tired baby waiting for her next spoonful of mashed rigatoni on the other. I could feel the stress rising.

I pushed the spoon into Aubrey’s mouth, and she hungrily chewed while banging her hands on her high chair.

I turned my attention toward my worksheet. Wanda said filling out the New Hire questionnaire would help me learn what made Dreamstar Direct so special.

Some of the questions were a little odd.

“What’s your favorite fantasy?”

If I were being completely honest, I would have written down “Free nanny and a bedroom with a built-in hot tub,” but instead I said “Being part of a fantastic team and making the world a better place.” It was a little Miss Universe, but I supposed they’d heard worse.

“What’s your secret passion?”

Secret passion? I supposed the truthful answer would be “Making s’mores on the stove at midnight while my husband and daughter sleep.” I wrote “Success.”

An email notification popped up on my screen. It was Wanda.

To: Ashley Keller

Ready? We’ve routed your phone with your own 900 number. First call is in 20 minutes. I’ll be listening in. Remember to write down customer requests so we can log the changes in the market. Don’t forget to use a fake name.

Log customer requests. Check. Fake name! I’d completely forgotten. Wanda said that in customer service, pseudonyms are often used. Probably so that if a client starts yelling, they can’t actually insult you accurately.

I didn’t remember her telling me that she’d be listening in. I turned to Aubrey who wasn’t even halfway through her lunch. If I cut her off now, she’d turn into an angry baboon baby and I’d be fired on the spot.

I knew what I had to do. I picked up my cell phone and punched in the number.

“Joy? I need you. Right now.”

Seven minutes later, Joy rang my doorbell. I met her at the door with Aubrey.

“Take her, now. My call is in five minutes!”

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