Hi moms! Oh, I have had the best day ever! Our video chat with Emily really lit a fire underneath me. I have three children three and under, but that didn’t stop me from signing up for my city’s intramural lacrosse team! My husband is so supportive and is bringing the kids to every game and practice.—Naomi from Wisconsin, mother of three
Gosh. The most physical thing I’d done that day was break a sweat trying to open a particularly difficult bag of potato chips during Aubrey’s nap. At least I was drinking the mommy tonic. I sipped the sweet, carbonated beverage, hoping the core ingredients were melting away my cellulite.
I needed to up my game. This was a competition, after all, and Emily was probably reading all of these posts. I jumped up and checked my face in the mirror. I looked alright. Standing in the light of my bedroom next to my closet, I opened my phone’s camera and held it at a flattering angle, making sure to hold up my glass of tonic. I snapped a photo.
I had dark circles under my eyes and my hair was noticeably slick, but it would have to do. I quickly uploaded it to the Motherhood Better Bootcamp portal with the caption, I’m loving the mommy tonic! I can feel my body getting detoxified already. Thanks Emily!
It was only after I was admiring my brilliant post that I noticed three loads of unwashed laundry, including my inside-out panties with the crotch section facing up, were in the background. I scrambled to delete the photo but there was no option to do so.
Typing quickly, I added, Photo taken at my best friend’s house.
As my eyelids became heavy I checked Emily’s Instagram one more time. I thought Bare-Butt-Gate had been long forgotten, but she’d snapped a photo of a small purple bottle of some kind of body cream on top of her Egyptian cotton sheets with the caption, Perfect for keeping arms, legs, AND BOTTOMS smooth.
I fainted. Good night.
Tuesday, January 29, 12:30 P.M.
Too many mothers rely on caffeine to keep them going. What they don’t know is that motherhood comes with its own natural pick-me-up: love! When your heart is wide open to the miracle that is your blessings, you’ll no longer need sugary coffee drinks to make it through the day.
—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better
I made it to noon without a cup of coffee, but after almost falling asleep on the living room floor three times this morning while Aubrey banged a plastic octopus on my head like a judge’s gavel, I knew I had to get some coffee in my body. It was in Aubrey’s best interests. I’d never made it to the café that quickly—on the way, I almost ran over an elderly woman with my stroller, but if I slowed down, I risked dozing off in the street. The smoky black liquid tasted like heaven in my mouth and I downed it in less than six greedy gulps. A few minutes later I had that familiar buzz.
The café was mostly empty, except for two women chatting together in the corner. They’d lean into each other, whisper something and then laugh raucously, as if they were sharing the most hilarious stories anyone had ever heard. I tried not to watch them.
It was a recurring theme, but ever since Gloria came over, I’d been thinking more and more about how desperately lonely motherhood is. I ran through the different times in my life, teenage years included, and had to admit I’d never been this lonely in my entire life. David could be right next to me in bed and I still felt like I was by myself. I just didn’t feel like he understood me anymore. I didn’t feel like anyone did.
Ever since Aubrey was born, I’d felt like I lived on a deserted island of baby television shows, chores and diapering accessories. I had one teeny finger based in reality and the rest of me was stuck in an oblivion of sleepless nights.
I loved being a mom. I loved Aubrey, but I wished I had real friends to talk to every day. I couldn’t open up to David. He’d just go on and on about how I needed to start making to-do lists and getting things done while the baby slept. I wanted a friend who would just listen and complain, not make reasonable suggestions.
David was as involved as he could be, but at the end of the day he’d never know what it was like to hate his flabby stomach but love the cause of it. I knew he worked hard, but whenever he said, “I’m tired,” I wanted to cut him a little bit. Tired? You get to sleep through the night. I give 100 percent of myself but still feel like I’m failing at the most important job I’ve ever done.
Before I knew it, it was time to take Aubrey home and put her down for a nap. Even with the cup of coffee coursing through my veins, I knew I’d probably have one, too.
Looking around at the empty tables, and longing for connection, I pulled out my phone before leaving the café and logged into the Motherhood Better portal.
Motherhood Better Bootcamp Journal Entry
From Ashley Keller, mom of 1
Today I enjoyed a brisk walk with my daughter to a nearby café. I really worked up a sweat. I’m still adjusting to the mommy tonic and indulged in a small coffee, but instead of my usual chocolate cookie I opted for fruit-based apple pie.
3 P.M.
When I met Sven I was like most of you: unhappy and overweight. I couldn’t shake the last six ounces of baby weight. Within three weeks, he whipped my body into the best shape of my life. My high school cheerleading uniform is too big for me now.
—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better
I’m tackling the Exercise Challenge today. Guess what? I joined a gym. I signed the contract for a year and paid the first three months up front. The very fit personal trainer guy at the front desk asked what my fitness goals were. I don’t think “general thinness” is what he was expecting so I added “muscle building” in at the last minute.
Want to hear the best part? The gym has childcare. You can drop off your baby for an hour at a time. I feel a little bad leaving Aubrey with strangers, but I checked it out and they’ve all been background checked, fingerprinted, have at least thirty early childhood education college units and are CPR certified. Come to think of it, they’re probably more qualified for motherhood than I am.
I start tomorrow. Today I’m going to get my new fitness clothes: a few pairs of stretchy black pants, two sports bras, a new water bottle, indoor running shoes and four sporty tops should do it. Maybe I should get some of those electrolyte drinks that look like they glow in the dark. And some granola bars for energy. Peanut butter, too. I have a coupon for the new kind with swirls of chocolate. Yum!
I can’t wait.
Wednesday, January 30, 2 P.M.
Always incorporate your children into your exercise routine. It’s important to model healthy living. My five love to join me on my 5 a.m. walks. The baby fits snugly in my wrap and I pull my middle two in a wagon. More weight means a better workout!
—Emily Walker, Motherhood Better