I’m not surprised he’s asking, but I am surprised that he’s asking when he won’t answer my questions.
Placing my fork on my plate, I take a long swallow of coffee before saying, “If I tell you what’s going on in my life, you have to tell me everything that’s been going on in yours,” I pause, “and I mean, everything—starting with the reason for walking out, what you’ve done for two years and why you’re suddenly here. You lie to me, I won’t be forgiving.”
I keep my features straight, hoping he doesn’t see the lie in my eyes. The fact is, I’d probably forgive him for lying to me, unless it involved another man. I don’t need to worry about him being with a woman, because he has no interest. Before, when we’d have a woman, I’d be the one doing the fucking while I sucked him off. The woman found it hot, and Noah would get excited seeing my dick wet as it slid in and out of her. That all changed after he’d let me inside him.
One minute we were in a relationship with Noah in the driver’s seat, and the next we’d switched places. After that night, Noah issued me an ultimatum; I never fucked a woman again while I was with him or he walked and I’d never see him again. Giving up women never bothered me because it was him watching me that was the turn on, not the woman. With him, I’ve always been able to be myself, unlike around my family, which is another story.
We eat in silence but I notice that we’re both sending glances toward the other. After he’s finished eating, he wipes his mouth on the yellow napkin I’d placed next to his fork and meets my gaze.
“I wanted to wait to talk, but it’s better if everything is out in the open with no more secrets between us.”
I nod.
“Are you all right to sit in the living room or do you need to go back to bed?” I ask, my voice filled with concern as I watch him. He’d been pale when he was eating. I originally put it down to the topic of conversation, but I’m not sure.
“I’ll be fine. Think it will be better if I’m upright for this conversation.”
Agreeing with him, I pour us both another cup of coffee and carry them through into the living room.
Chapter Three
Noah
I try to get comfortable, but knowing what we’re going to be talking about, and the fact that my ribs are aching has me sitting on the edge of the sofa, hoping Ramon will be the first to start.
Being gone for so long means there is a lot to say, and part of me is afraid that we’ll get tired and I won’t know anything about what or whom Ramon’s been up to.
“Sylvia.”
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. Her name is Sylvia.”
The words are flippant, like he doesn’t give a shit but I know Ramon…he does care about what he’s saying. Sylvia must mean something to him.
“Fuck, Noah...I was missing the hell out of you and she was there looking so damn sweet. And she wasn’t going anywhere so I started taking her out.” He runs his hands through the short strands of his hair in clear agitation. “We had dinner, a movie, and sometimes she’d come to family functions with me to keep Mom from shoving unmarried women at me.”
So she’s good enough to meet his family, but I never was. I’m being unfair but hearing him say she’s met his family hurts. It hurts a lot.
“But, I let you believe we had an intimate relationship, which is wrong.”
What’s he saying?
“I’ve never had sex with her, Noah. I will admit to cutting it close not too long ago, but by the time I accompanied her back to her apartment, I’d come to my senses and realized she wasn’t the one I wanted.” He laughs. “I was craving someone who’d made it clear that he didn’t want me.”
The room drops into silence as Ramon finishes his admission about Sylvia. I thought I’d have more time to get my thoughts in order. I don’t. Whatever I was going to say has left and been replaced with the fact that Ramon isn’t in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much I told myself that he had the right to be, it would have killed something inside me if he were.
“Please say something?” he pleads.
“I’m surprised that you’d admit that to me without hearing my side of events, but I’m relieved.” I laugh. “You’ve no idea how relieved.”
“I think I do...your turn.” Ramon forces a smile.
I’ve no idea what he’s thinking, which causes butterflies to flutter around my stomach. I’d once known what his next move would be and what he was thinking at any given time. It was like we had the same thoughts…but not anymore.
With a heavy sigh, I explain about Gary. It isn’t easy but I feel relief at being able to leave out some parts…since he knows a lot of it from Carla and from Gary going after her. As I finish explaining everything, Ramon says, “You’ve missed out on explaining the threat that sent you running.”
I shake my head. “We’re still talking. I haven’t finished.”