Except, I don’t feel it. Something’s missing.
Jackson pulls up a chair and smacks the bar. “Let’s see how these cocktails of yours are coming.”
There’s enough liquor in the place for me to make the basic drinks. I grab a bottle and a shaker, tossing them around easily searching for the rhythm I don’t feel. Clearly, because none of these drinks are shaken. I set the shaker down without breaking my stride and follow it with the bottle. My hand free, I flip up a glass.
First up: 351.3 The Librarian. Whiskey, Absinthe, and a little sugar. Into the glass it all goes, and I grab a long handled spoon and give the cocktail a good swirl, adding bitters to the top before sliding it across the bar.
Jackson takes another drink. “I thought bartenders were supposed to help people with their problems.”
“Damn, this is good. How do you come up with these things?”
“Good sex,” I say. “How do you come up with your buildings?”
“Orgies,” he says, with a smirk that says he’s yanking my chain. That, or Mr. Straight-Laced Jackson is pulling one over on all of us.
Grabbing another glass, I make myself a drink: 808.9 The Classic Section. It’s my own version of a Manhattan. Drink in hand, I’m able to handle whatever Jackson might throw at me.
“You have to tell her.”
At least he waited until I had a drink before jumping back into the issue. I pause mid-drink. There are a lot of things I want to do with Savannah, but telling her about my parents isn’t even making the list.
“Why?” I put down my drink and start filing the bottle back into place. It’s an easy pattern to follow, and gives me something to concentrate on besides my relationship with Savannah.
“Because you’re getting to the place where she’s gonna start asking some questions, like where is this going? And what are we?”
“She knows what we are.”
I’m the guy who makes her scream. We are friends. What more does it need to be?
“Because it’s been my experience—before anything comes out of your mouth, yes I have experience—that women like to have those things confirmed verbally. Have you even asked if she’s exclusively seeing you?”
“When would she date someone else? We’re together every night.”
Every night, except last night, she’s been coming on my cock. I doubt Savannah snuck out of her apartment to go hunt up a man for the evening. I mean, she knew I was available. Even before we started whatever it is we are, she wasn’t the type to take home random men—no matter how much she needed the orgasm to de-stress.
“You are hopeless, you know that?”
“Drink your Librarian and shut up,” I say pointing Jackson back toward his drink. I’m the one behind the bar: I give the advice, not the other way around.
“The date not go well last night?”
“Let’s just say it put some things in perspective.”
“Like…”
“We will never work—not as long as my family is…” I drift off.
“So you’ll tell Ryder but not Savannah about dear old mom and pop Gardner?”
Last night, I was five seconds away from Savannah discovering the truth about me. Morgan Dockson could have gotten in two more words and the world I’d built around Savannah and I would come tumbling down. It’s a lie that grows bigger by the day. Someday I’ll think about tearing it down, but for now, it’s all that’s keeping me together.
“Let’s say we get serious. She’ll have to meet my family.”
“There is no way they can be that scary.”
“You don’t know them like I do. They will ruin this. Mom will immediately jump into floral arrangements and pull out every wedding magazine known to mankind. My father will just sit around and judge her, and worse, me.”
“Hate to tell you this, but that’s how it is in every family.”
“Even your paragon of familial bonding?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“You never met my parents, so you don’t get to judge.”
And then I remember that Jackson and Shelby’s parents’ are dead. They died in a car accident five years ago. It’s why he’s so protective of Shelby: they’re all each other’s got.
“Sorry man, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.” I tip my glass toward him. “Everything my father touches just rots. We’re certainly not your family.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you do not know the deep dark secrets of the Masters family, okay? Yes, you know Shelby and she’s cool, but trust me. We all have family secret closets, and we don’t want to show them to people we don’t care about.”
“Isn’t that why we have our own family?” I ask, saluting him with my glass.
“And what is happening with that? But trust me: Savannah can take it, but you have to trust her. She can forgive a lot of things, but the longer you wait the harder it is going to be to get her back.”
“Are you done with the inspirational pep talk?”
“Depends. You gonna tell her?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get right on that.”
As soon as my father pays restitution to the people he hurt.