There’s nothing more I would love to do than to believe Ryder’s opinion. Cash is a good guy, but there is something he’s keeping from me. The problem with his here and now philosophy is that we don’t live just in the now, we’re the product of the past.
If that Morgan girl can throw him off that much, maybe they were more than just one-night stands. He still loves her—maybe? I don’t know, and it’s driving me crazy here.
“We just met this girl last night and it’s like they have a history. Like, a real one, and I can’t understand why he might lie to me like that. Especially when he knows about Tanner.”
Cassie trails her hand over a large silver plate. “I’m gonna wager a guess here. The boy we do not speak of, he lied to you, didn’t he? Like big time, it fucked your relationship completely sort of lie.”
I take a deep breath and take the plunge. “Yes.”
If I knew then that Tanner Jakes would continue to screw with my love life, I would have walked away long before he could stitch himself into my heart. Now it’s too late, and my wounds haven’t completely healed.
“And you’re afraid that Cash is setting you up for the same thing, aren’t you?”
“He’s just—there’s something he’s not telling me. I know there is, and it’s important to him. I trusted him with my secrets—I told him all about Tanner and his secret wife,” I say louder then I probably meant to.
People start to stare at me. This is why you don’t have meltdowns in public. Cassie just stares wide-eyed at me. My friend is shocked that I chose wrong. I was always the one making smart choices. Making the right choice. Now, I’m lining up to be the new girl of the week with a bartender with commitment issues. “I don’t understand why he doesn’t think he can trust me.”
“I think you need to talk to him about this.”
“What if there is someone else? What if I’m just the girl he’s using to get over Morgan?”
“Either way, you need to know. Press the issue. You’re a lawyer. When you have someone on the stand, do you back down? Hell no, you go right for the jugular. Don’t let Cash get away before you press the issue.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cash
The Library is finally about to start being a real thing. The building crew’s moved out, and the place actually looks like a bar now and not the bookshop it used to be. Jackson’s dragged me down here to finalize the last few placements around the bar. The heart of the club is the circular bar—and it’s risky, we always knew that—but it’s giving us more trouble than any of us ever thought.
“So we have a speed well at each point,” I say, smacking post-its where I think each one should go. Jackson looks at me through narrowed eyes from his position at the bar. The Library is coming together. The top floor is already finished and staged. It’s just the last few things here at the bar that needs to be finished.
Jackson grunts. I know he wants to have a heart to heart, and I am trying my best to just work on the bar issues.
“We’ll get bogged down if we don’t have more,” I say, ignoring the unspoken question. I am really getting tired of talking about my family. We need to focus on the other details such as the number of speed wells we’re going to put in around this circular bar.
“So you and Ryder are on the same page? When’d that happen?”
About the same time Savannah and I started falling off the page. Coming home to an empty apartment was not on my agenda, but if I stayed with Savannah she would have wanted to know about Morgan, and that would mean I’d have to talk about Emmett and Martha, and everything else. I could have easily found someone else to blow off all my steam with, but since I started fucking Savannah I don’t want anyone else. It’s driving me insane.
I stand at the bar and try to imagine what it’s going to feel like once the place is teeming with people. Opening The Library is going to put me back in control and then I’ll hunt down Savannah and not leave my apartment for a week.
“Ryder and I have solved the issue. Relax and design a new building.”
“I am not going to be the rope between you guys again. I don’t need that shit.” Jackson hits another tag on the other side of the bar, marking another speed well location.
“Aw Jackson, just because you have to keep a close eye on Shelby doesn’t mean the rest of us need dads.” I relax against the bar and picture how I want to set up the bottles.
“Shelby is off limits to you pervs and you know it. But since I’m stuck being the mature one of the group, have you told Savannah yet? Secrets get out faster than you after a one-night stand.”
There are a lot of things I’ve told Savannah. How fucking hard she makes me. How much I love her *. But there are some things she just doesn’t need to know.
I duck under the bar and stand behind it. This is my domain. Running my hands over the polished oak, I expect to feel the insanity in me settle. But it doesn’t. The bar’s not as smooth as the inside of Savannah’s thighs. This should be home. Whatever happens in the world, I can come back to the bar and start again.