Me: Feeling a lot better.
Jeff: Good. I miss you.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I missed him too. Just like I missed all my friends. But that was all it was. Friendship. And I needed to tell him that. Maybe that was another reason I had stayed home all week. I was good at avoidance.
Friday.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here alone?” my mom asked. She was all dressed up and heading off to her work party with my dad.
“I’m positive.” I tugged on my fingers. “I’m sorry I’m not going with you. I promised Dad I would when he told me I could go up to the cabin.”
She smiled. “Oh please, this would be like torture for you. Besides, you didn’t end up at the cabin, so you’re breaking no promises.”
“This is true.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. Thanks for letting me stay home this week.”
“Of course. You need to take care of yourself.”
“I know. That’s why I’m staying home from the basketball game tonight too. Just the thought of it makes me cringe.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I think you sometimes worry too much what your friends will think if you don’t go somewhere and not enough about how you’re feeling.”
“I know. Well, now I know. I’m working on it.” Dax had been wrong. I hadn’t needed to make a big announcement about my anxiety to my friends, I just needed to learn how to say no to them and take better care of myself.
She patted my cheek. “I love you, kid. Be good.”
“I will.”
The doorbell rang at 6:45 and I thought about not answering it. I wasn’t expecting anyone and I didn’t want to talk to a salesperson. But then it rang again, and I sighed and walked to the front door. When I opened it, I saw one second of Dallin’s smiling face before he threw a pillowcase over my head.
I screamed and tried to pull it off but then my hands were bound to my sides by some sort of rope or tape.
“Your presence has been requested,” Dallin said. “You are being kidnapped.”
“Dallin, please don’t do this. This is not cool.” I could already feel my pulse picking up speed, my chest tightening. It’s just Dallin, I told myself. I’ll be fine. But that logic didn’t help. It was the pillowcase over my head. I needed it off. I felt smothered, trapped, confined. “Take it off. Please. I’m not one of your stupid guy friends.” I knew he’d done this to Zach before. At the movies. He was just doing what he did. But I couldn’t handle it like Zach.
Dallin directed me on my shuffling feet to a vehicle that I could hear was already on. A door opened and he delivered me inside. I wasn’t sure if the other guys were inside—Zach or Connor.
“Can someone please just take the pillowcase off? I’m going to get sick.” My stomach hurt and I was worried I really was going to get sick.
There was the tiniest laugh but nobody helped me. The radio turned on and the car started moving. Nobody had put on my seatbelt.
“I need a seatbelt,” I said.
“A seatbelt?” The voice was right next to my ear, then another voice behind me said the same thing. They were loud, distorted. But someone buckled me in.
Throughout the ride the different voices yelled out stupid things. Things like, “Don’t run the stop sign!” And, “Is that a cop?” I kind of wished it was a cop. Maybe they’d get pulled over and in trouble for having a girl with a pillowcase over her head in the car. I thought I recognized Zach’s voice. And obviously Dallin’s, but I wasn’t sure who else was there. It could’ve just been the two of them. Eventually this case would be off my head so I tried to keep myself under control.
After at least ten minutes of obnoxious one-liners, the car slowed. I hadn’t managed to keep myself under control at all. I could feel the sweat and tears streaked down my face. There was probably some snot too. But they weren’t done. One last shout made my heart stand still. It was Dallin’s voice. “Hey, look, your boyfriend is here, Autumn! I didn’t know he like basketball.”
And for the first time the entire ride, I heard Jeff. He laughed. He thought it was a joke. It wasn’t a joke, but it was an exaggeration on Dallin’s part. Dax was definitely not my boyfriend.
“Are you pointing at Dax Miller?” Jeff asked.
“Yes, you should ask Autumn about him. They got real tight while you were under.” I wanted to punch Dallin. I understood that he might hate me for his various annoying reasons right now, but didn’t he understand timing, that he was hurting his best friend?
The car pulled to a stop and I was helped out of it. I struggled until someone freed me and removed the pillowcase. All I could think about was getting out of there. I wanted out of there.