She nodded. “How is he?”
“He’s . . .” My heart thudded several hard beats. “Amazing. You have an amazing son.”
She looked back up at me. “You’re his girlfriend. I didn’t realize.”
“No. I’m not. Dax doesn’t . . .” He doesn’t do commitment is what I almost said, but instead finished with, “Doesn’t want that.”
“I’m sorry.”
She obviously knew I did want something with Dax. And I did, I realized, as I was sitting there desperate to get the letter back for him. Desperate to fix this. I finally knew what I wanted, and it felt bittersweet in that moment.
“So what do you need from me . . . ?”
She was waiting for my name. “Autumn,” I provided.
“Autumn. What can I do?”
“Not send whatever it is you’re writing. Not yet, at least. Will you give me a week to tell him what happened?”
“Of course.” She smiled, and I saw Dax inherited that from her as well. “But then I can send this to him, right? I have changed so much, and I’d like him to see that. Plus, he has legitimate questions in here. Questions he needs the answers to even if he wants nothing to do with me.”
“Yes. You should send it in a week.”
She picked up the pen lying on the coffee table. “Will you write down where I should send it to?” She handed the pen to me.
I stared at the pen. Maybe I should just let her send it to the address listed on his envelope. It would possibly get forwarded on to him eventually. But that was just putting off the inevitable. Either way I was going to have to tell him what I’d done when I returned his book without a letter. This way, with a letter from her in hand, he’d see that his mom had changed. This woman wasn’t the same one who’d walked away from Dax. And with that tattoo branded on his arm, he never would’ve sent the letter on his own. Things happen for a reason. Maybe this did. Maybe it would help him with his commitment issues. With me.
I took the pen and envelope. “Why haven’t you reached out to him in all these years?”
“I didn’t deserve to. I was waiting for him. Autumn, I still remember the day the police showed up at my house to take him from me. One officer had my meth, the other had my son. Do you know which officer I lunged for? I did not deserve to be the first to reach out. But now I know that he wanted to. That he’s been thinking about me as well.”
My throat went tight with that story, reminded me what she had done, who my loyalty was to. I handed her back her things. “I don’t have his address memorized.”
She seemed to know I wasn’t being honest. She held up the letter. “He asked about his dad, too. He needs to know.”
I nodded. “I’ll send it to you after I talk to him.” Or better yet, I’d let him reach out. I had a week to tell him what I’d done, and hopefully he’d take it well and want his mom’s letter. “Do you have a number we can reach you at?”
She nodded and wrote it down on a piece of scratch paper.
I tucked it into my pocket and smiled. “It was nice to meet you.”
“You too, Autumn.”
“And then she said, Owen, you are the handsomest, smartest, funniest guy in the entire universe.”
I looked up from where I had been staring at the menu at Owen’s favorite café. Okay, maybe I’d been staring past the menu. “She really said that?”
He threw the wrapper from his straw at me. “I’ve waited all week and you’re still not really hanging out with me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But do you see that?” I pointed to the space above my head.
“No.”
“Well, I feel it. It’s a ticking time bomb. It’s ticking down to the moment I hand Dax his book back with no letter in it.”
“And when will that be?”
“Never? Can I just not ever tell him?”
“The sooner you tell him, the less anxious you’ll feel about it.”
I’d filled my brother in on what had happened. Mainly because my mom told him and my dad the story about the letter and they all wanted context when I got home. Now it was a full day later, and I couldn’t shake the dread of talking to Dax about what I’d done. “I know.”
“Should I take you by his house?”
“No.” I patted my menu. “No, you’re leaving tonight. I have time to talk to him. So finish your story. This girl you were telling me about, she’s obviously very wise if she said all those things about my brother. I approve.”
“She didn’t exactly say them, but I saw them in her eyes.”
I laughed. “I bet you did.”
“And I know she’s the one for me,” he said in a dramatic fashion.
I wanted to laugh again, but I stopped. “You know? Just like that?”
“Well, not just like that, but it was almost that easy. Shouldn’t love be easy?”
“You love her?”
“No, but I just mean the act of falling in love. Shouldn’t it be easy?”
“Yes. It definitely shouldn’t be scripted.”