“Just t’at they made some choices they though’ were best for them. They got themselves a pimp.”
I felt my heart break. This was too hard, maybe I wasn’t ready to hear about the life I had left behind. It opened too many memories that I was trying to overcome.
“You know what, Key, I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t think I’m really ready to hear about that.”
“I understan’, Rosie. I didn’t come here to talk about t’at. I came to see you and find out ‘bout how your life is goin’.”
“Oh, Key, it’s been six eye-opening months. It’s a struggle every day. I won’t say some days aren’t worse than others. But, every second I talk myself into believing I’m worthy of a better life is a moment I’ve battled and won. I don’t want to ever be that person again.”
He slid his hands up across my elbows before he pulled me up into a hug.
“I’m real sorry, me gir’. I’d never want you to be t’at person again, either.”
We stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms. Peace threaded itself between us, a freedom swept across every cell of my being. I knew at that moment, I was going to make it. Briggs pushed his lips to the top of my head.
Healing touch.
“I’ll nev’r mention you’ past ever again. I promise.”
My body melted into his, not in a sexual way, but in a renewed way, an inner strength kinda way.
I was safe.
“Thanks Key. It’ll get easier, it’s just something I can’t handle right now. It’s still kinda raw, ya’ know?”
Even though I didn’t want to hear about my old life, I ached to ask him more about Shane. I wanted to hear about how Shane kept looking for me, but I didn’t. I craved to find my strength in Shane’s conviction to wait for me, but I couldn’t. I had to change because it was something I wanted, I needed, for myself and not for someone else.
“I know. I’m so happy I got to see you, Rosie.”
“Thanks for asking about my life.” He tightened his arms around me before he let go. “And Key?” I breathed.
“Yeh?”
“Don’t ever stop asking to meet me, no matter what my answer may be. Even if there are more days I say no than yes.”
“All right, I won’t stop.” His words caressed my heart.
“Thanks.”
Briggs drove me home, a whole four blocks away. I guess the idea of keeping me safe was still burned into his brain, as it should be, he was still in the thick of protecting and healing the hos in the Tenderloin. Six months off the track and moving to a whole other state, still doesn’t stop the conditioned routine I had lived for the last three and a half years of my life and how quickly a turn of circumstances could trump any forward momentum.
Key pulled up to the curb at my apartment complex. It wasn’t anything special, nor beautiful. The complex was more industrial looking, a concrete jungle just like my apartment in the city with the exception of the patch of dirt and grass between the sidewalk and building.
“Well, this is me. Thanks for the lift home and the coffee.”
A smile crested his face.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Nothin’, Just happy to see you.”
I leaned over and hugged him. A lengthy hug, I tried to let go, he wasn’t going to have it. His face against the side of my head, he whispered in my ear, as if by him whispering it made him mentioning Shane anymore okay.
“Don’t be mad, he asked me to give you this. He hopes you understan’.” He slipped something into my sweater pocket and I stiffened at his words. Tears spiked at my eyes. Could all the answers to my future I’ve been longing for be right here? Should I even read it? His words seemed so weighty in my pocket. It would be so much easier to stay with Key, have him take me with him.
“Thanks.”
I reluctantly hopped out of his rental car and didn’t look back. Briggs tapped his horn a couple of short times before I heard him drive off. I slipped my hand into my sweater pocket and felt the chill of the envelope, the chunk of tape sealing the seam and the plumpness of the letter inside filled with Shane’s words. My heart slipped and slid through every thunderous beat, I needed to get into my apartment and read what could be the best or the most devastating thing I’d received in the last six months.