“So the truth comes out. You aren’t as tough as you look.”
“If that’s wat you believe, so be it. I’d rather be visitin’ you at a house, then watch you be buried in a place like this. You’re a tough gir’, no doubt in me mind, but if you keep doin’ what you’re doin’, you won’t be long for this world.”
“If you keep telling all your clients to quit the business, you’ll be out of a job,” I quipped as I forced my seat back upright.
“Well, Rosie, just call it a soft spot in me heart for you. It’s the only time I’ve said this to anyone, but that boy, well, he’s your ticket out of this life, me gir’. I think it’s high time you cashed it in.”
Deep down, I knew he was right. It was obvious he was just trying to protect me, but seeing that I’ve had to take care of myself my entire life I wasn’t going to let him think that he knew what was best for me.
I looked out and watched Shane in his dark charcoal suit lean down and kiss the old woman on the cheek, before he gingerly consoled the old man next to her. Shane rested his palm on the man’s shoulder while they shook hands. A familiar gesture which appeared more intimate than the greeting of strangers. I observed Sybil’s parents, or what I assumed was Sybil’s parents lift their frail hands while they talked to him, and watched Shane as he comfortably consoled them. He was so sincere, and even though I couldn’t hear what they were saying to one another I noticed Shane’s expression was genuine and filled with compassion.
“Well, I appreciate your concern, Briggs, I do, but this is my life, and what I do with it . . . well, that’s my business. Just tend to your stuff and I’ll tend to mine and I think it will be better that way.”
“Aye, sweet’art. I’ve said me peace. You can sit here and lose your opportunity, havin’ a pity party for one, or you can get your arse out of the car and say a proper goodbye to Sybil. Either way it’s no skin off me teeth, it’s your choice,” he said as he patted my knee before he opened the driver’s side door and got out. He flung open the back driver’s side door, yanked his black dress coat from a hanger and pulled it on before he looked over at me. His eyes asking if I was going to be an arse or a friend.
“I’m sorry Key, this wound’s pretty deep. I just can’t face him right now.”
“Suit you’self.” He shut the back car door and I watched him meander up to Sybil’s open grave.
I looked over and saw Shane consoling Martie, it was a dagger in my heart. I closed my eyes and wept.
MY EYES WERE still closed as the tears drenched my lashes and betrayed me as I tried to stop the ungodly-ugly cry from taking over me. I figured I’d wait for Briggs to come back so we could just go, but he took forever. I knew he wouldn’t let me get out of here until I went up there and paid my respects to Sybil.
All right, it’s time to put on my big girl panties and face the music. Nobody’s gonna control me anymore. I have every right to go up there and say goodbye to my best friend.
I waited for the voice in my head to argue back. Tell me that I’m just a fucked up person, a worthless person, someone who didn’t deserve to take up space in this world, but there was no argument, no mean words that fucked with my self-esteem. Relief washed over me when I sat up and saw that Key was the only one at the gravesite. A weight lifted from my shoulders, finally I was getting my moment alone with my dead best friend safely locked in a dark wooden casket.
I opened my door and regained the confidence to go up and give my last regards when the driver’s side door flung open.
“Close the door.” A voice startled me.
Shane slipped into the driver’s seat shutting his door behind him before he stretched his long thick arm across and grabbed the handle of my door and shut it.
“What the fuck, Sha—”
“Stop. Just don’t say anything.”
“What? Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I’m the man who loves you. I’m your man.”
“No you’re not.”
“Oh, sweetheart, yes I am, you just don’t know it yet. But that’s all about to change.”
His answer caught me off guard. Shane never talked like that before.
“You can’t be my man unless I let you, and as far as I can see you’re still with Martie.”
“You can see whatever the hell you want to see, but the truth is, I’ve tried to come in slow, tried to take off slow, I’ve tried to take my time and I’ve tried to back away and give you time. I’m done trying.”
“Good, you should be. I’ve told you, nothing can come of us. I’m no good for you.”
“Yeah, you keep saying that, but you see, I’m not going to try anymore. I’m going to do something about it.”