A crowd had assembled in the open area behind our table, turning it into a dance floor, and that’s where we’d been for the past couple of hours.
“Allie, I think maybe you should slow down,” Colt suggested, pulling me into his chest. “You’re going to make yourself sick.”
Nope. No way. I was not going to survive this night without lots of liquor. “You’re so sweet,” I slurred, running my hands over his shoulders. “I’m fine, Colt, really,” I insisted, trying to look very, very sober.
Colton rolled his eyes and huffed in frustration. God, he was so cute. “Will you at least eat something?” he begged.
I always did love the way he looked out for me. “Okay,” I agreed. “Feed me.”
A slow smile moved across his face. “All right. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
I must’ve been drunker than I thought because it seemed like almost no time had passed before I felt Colton grinding his body against mine. And did he ever come back recharged. The way he was moving felt almost indecent, but I was too turned on to care.
“Goddamnit, Alexis,” Blex growled, stalking off.
What the hell? I followed his movement with my eyes and could have sworn I saw Colton tear through the back door into the house. But, how could he, if he was—
“We move well together,” Stephan said, spinning me in his arms.
My heart started to beat like a bass drum. Loud. Hard.
The air left my lungs. Oh, Colton.
“Something wrong?” That no good motherfucker.
I shoved at Stephan’s chest as tears poured down my face. “Why? Why would you do that?” My hands were on my chest. I felt like everyone was watching me. Laughing at me. Like they were all in cahoots with the universe to spoil any chance I had of finding happiness.
“Come on, Lexi,” Finn said, shielding me in his arms. “You’ll get yours later, asshole,” he shot at Stephan before guiding me around the pool, through the house, and into the back seat of Colton’s car.
Colton’s anguished eyes met mine in the rearview, revealing his every emotion, and it cut me like a knife. I mouthed the words “I’m sorry,” but he just turned away, twisted the key into the ignition, and headed for home.
Finn kept whispering that it was okay. That everything would be okay, but how could it? The car was deathly quiet, apart from the sound of my cries and the occasional pounding of Colton’s fist into the steering wheel.
When we arrived at the house, he had barely taken the time to throw the car into park before he was slamming the driver side door and storming off into the house.
“I didn’t know,” I cried to both Blex and Finn. I could feel them judging me. “I th-thought it was h-him.”
“Give him a few minutes to calm down, Alex,” Blex suggested, his face softening.
Walking into the house was like stepping into a war zone. It sounded like bombs were going off upstairs with all of the banging.
“Don’t go up there right now, Lexi,” Finn warned as I began making my way toward the stairs. “I’ve never seen him like this.”
Nausea churned in my stomach as I continued the twisty climb. “I’ll be f-fine, Finley. Colt would n-never hurt me.” Not physically anyway, I thought.
“Let me go talk to him first to try to explain, Alexis.” Blex was approaching the steps when I shooed him away.
“You guys, he’s not going to do anything. Ch-chill.”
When I got to the room, I hesitated for a minute, afraid of what I would find when I opened that door. Slowly, I twisted the knob, peering my head inside. He was right there, standing so close, I would have hit him had I swung it all the way. His hands were fisted at his sides. His breathing labored. His nostrils flared as he stood there staring back at me, unmoving.
“C-Colt,” I whimpered. Squeezing inside, I shut the door, and on shaky legs, took a few steps to stand before him. I wanted to reach out and hold him but was too afraid of being rejected. A river of regret streamed down my cheeks. “I th-thought he was you,” I explained. The back of my throat burned as I continued. “I swear. I never would have—I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry, Colton.”
He swallowed. Every line of his face was hard.
“I want to touch you,” I whispered, taking a step closer. Looking up into his pained eyes, I waited for permission. Just when I was about to give up and walk away, his hand lifted to cup my cheek, and I started to tremble with relief. Colton’s thumb swiped across my lips. I thought that I might die from feeling so much. He gripped the back of my head, pulling me into his chest. He’d never held me so tight.
Colton’s chin rested on the top of my head. “I can’t lose you again, Al.” I felt his body shake as the anger began to dissipate. “Not again,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple.
The fear in his voice was breaking my already shattered heart. I wanted to give him everything—all of me. To show him how much I loved him in the only way I never could. “Make love to me, Colton.” I sounded weak and needy but was too drunk and emotional to care at that moment.
He stared at me in a stupor. Like he wasn’t sure if he’d heard me correctly. I was filled with enough pent up sexual tension and liquid courage that I was desperate enough to beg for it. “Please, Colt. I need you.” My hands twisted into the front of his shirt.
All of the hard lines of his face softened. His eyes glistened, and his head shook. “No.”
No? No? Did he just say no?
“Not that I don’t want to,” he groaned. “I want to.” His head hung as he blew out a frustrated breath. With a sad smile, he continued, “More than you know. Just, not tonight, babe. You’ve been drinking, and we’re...emotional. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I’m not even drunk anymore,” I insisted.
He quirked a brow. “I’m pretty sure you out drank most of the guys, Alex.”
I frowned. That fag-hag comment from earlier was at the forefront of my mind, taunting me. Why was he so quick to drop his pants for those bitches but kept telling me no? Didn’t he want me? Feeling desperate for his attention, I fell to my knees and began fooling with the buckle of his belt. I was going to show him that I could suck a dick as good as any of his blond Hoovers.
Colton’s hips jerked, and suddenly his hands were fighting with mine, trying to stop me. Why was he always stopping me? “Allie, what are you doing?” he groaned. “Please get up.”
“What’s it look like?” I forced a giggle to keep from crying at the sting of being rejected by him yet again. “I’m saying when.”
The next thing I knew, Colt had me cradled in his arms, and we were halfway to the bed. His chest vibrated as he released a resigned laugh. “Alexis Mack, what am I going to do with you?”
I kept quiet because I couldn’t have made it any clearer what I wanted him to do with me, and apparently, he wasn’t interested.