“You’re too good to me, Landon.”
“I know,” he said. Jay reached up and gave him a gentle shove. They fell silent again. The afterglow was too nice, and the companionable moment was just that. There was no recrimination, and Landon meant it fully when he meant he was Jay’s friend here, as well as his lover. Even if his heart was in it deeper than he’d intended, Jay hadn’t asked any more than Landon could give, hadn’t played games with him. The mutual respect he felt, made all the difference to Landon. If they went their separate ways, or just ended up friends, he’d be very sad, but wouldn’t be bitter. Jay was no user, not telling Landon pretty words like some selfish prick.
Jay started randomly humming a song as Landon rubbed his scalp. It was amazing how quickly the sound of the man’s gentle, deep voice quieted Landon’s thoughts. The long day caught up with Landon, the calm of the moment settling in his bones, and with a smile, he drifted off to sleep on his couch.
Chapter 17
“You know you were kind of a jerk,” Brittany said.
“I know, I know. I thought you slept with my crush, though,” Landon replied, readjusting the phone on his shoulder as he reached for a box of instant oatmeal to put in his basket.
“Well, you know, heterosexual men tend to sleep with women, so being a jealous basket case every time he flirts with someone isn’t quite the way to handle the straight-boy crush.”
Landon grimaced. He still didn’t know whether he should say anything about that to his friends. He wasn’t much up for the lecture, nor was it his business to out the man, even to people Jay may never see again.
“Please tell me you’re not a dick around the ex-wife.”
Again, Landon grimaced. “Landon!” Brittany scolded. “You need to get it together, sweetie. Seriously, you can’t go around acting like a raging, jealous queen. Even if by some miracle you did start sleeping with him, his ex is a sacred thing, you know. They have kids.”
“I know that, B. Seriously. I wasn’t necessarily a dick. I just thought bad thoughts.”
“Honey, haven’t we all.”
“Anyway,” Landon said with a huff. “I just wanted to clear the air. I felt bad I was such a jerk.”
“Oh, it’s understandable. For the record, I so would have hit that.”
“Oh, I saw your patented head tilt and Bambi eyes routine.”
“My best moves!” she whined. Landon laughed. Damn, he loved his friends.
“Okay, hon, I’ve got to get off here and finish my grocery shopping.”
“Helluva Friday. You’re such a party animal.”
“You’re tellin’ me,” Landon scoffed.
“Landon, be cool. Okay, sweets? You’re the no-drama friend. You’re the rock. Yeah, it means you’re kinda boring, but we love that you’re steady. It freaked us out when you went all neurotic.”
They ended their call with promises to get in touch soon. He’d promised Mitch he’d try to make it down during Thanksgiving holidays when he had a few days off in a row.
He thought on her parting words. She was right. He’d been a bit neurotic. What he needed to do was keep his head on straight and let Jay be Jay. He could be the calm in the storm. That’d been his job for most of his life. Others lost their minds around him and Landon let them come around in their time, just held things together until they were back on solid ground. He hoped he’d been that for Jay, as a friend at least.