"Yeah," I sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I brushed the rest of my tears away and straightened myself up. "I should go. Good luck with everything, Blake. I mean it."
I darted out of the dressing room, barely slipping out of his grasp. He tried to follow me, but he was still without a shirt and couldn't follow me out of the store.
"Christina, have lunch with me. We need to talk. Please." It hurt because Blake wasn't the type to say 'please.' Ever. But I had to stay strong.
"Christina, what about the suit?" Marco called to me as he, too, tried to follow me out the store.
"To hell with the suit," I managed to say before the store swung shut behind me.
I couldn't fall apart. Not yet. And there was only one person that I could think of right now who would help keep me together.
Chapter 18
Later that week, I invited Adam over. It wouldn't be the first time he was at my home, but I was nervous. Adam and I weren't really an item yet, but I felt guilty for kissing Blake. Vanessa said that I needed to get Blake out of my system, except for the little fact that I didn't know how. I wasn't up late reading as many articles on the wedding anymore, so that was progress at least. But it still didn't stop me from thinking about Blake, and I knew that Adam coming over wasn't going to stop my thoughts either.
"So, what are we doing?" he asked as he plopped down on my couch. "Action movie or..." he paused and sighed dramatically. "Chick flick?"
"Well, I can see that in your heart, you really want to watch that new action movie. So, since you are a guest in my home, I've decided that the romantic comedy is the right choice." He grabbed his chest faking pain, and I laughed.
"Ouch. Ouch." He smiled. "It doesn't matter." He patted the seat next to him. "I'm only here for the company."
I chuckled and sat right next to him.
The movie was pretty good, but I was mostly battling my thoughts and feelings. I could see Adam staring at me every so often, and I felt guilty because all I was doing was thinking about Blake and wondering what our kiss meant.
"Come here, you, " Adam said. I hadn't even realized that his hand was on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. I shifted awkwardly and I almost grimaced. Just do it fast, I thought, like a band-aid! When our lips touched, I awaited that spark. I closed my eyes thinking that it would bring it sooner, but sadly nothing came.
The kiss was hardly even a peck before I stood up abruptly. "I forgot to bring the snacks snacks." I was about to leave for the kitchen, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down as he stood up himself.
"Don't worry, I've got it. All the snacks are up in the pantry, right?" he asked, but he was already in the kitchen.
I watched him move around and was in awe at how quickly he'd become in tune with my needs. What is wrong with me? Why am I so hellbent on wanting someone I know I can't have? Here is this great guy that never hesitates to tell me how he feels and I'm waiting for somebody's fiance to come and get me. It wasn't fair to me, and it wasn't fair to Adam.
Adam returned and sat back down next to me on the couch, equipped with a bowl of popcorn and a much smaller bowl of M&Ms. He smiled at me hopefully, and I returned it with a weak smile of my own.
"Look, Adam..." I started.
"Don't worry. I already know," he responded.
"You do?" I asked, surprised.
Adam nodded. "Something isn't right."
"Like something is missing?"
"Yes." He nodded again.
"So, you've felt it too?" I sighed. "It was stupid of me to think that it could only be felt on one side."
"Just slightly. I like you, but..."
"It's not enough," I finished. "You're one of a kind. You know that?" I nudged his shoulder. "Most men would have just tried to have sex with me and then disappeared off the face of the Earth."
"I'm not like most men. I told you the night I met you that I was looking for a wife. I meant that."
"In the spirit of honesty, I have a confession to make." I looked him in the eye. "I'm not completely over my ex."
"The billionaire?" he asked. "But he's getting married at the end of the month. It's weeks away from today," he finished, as if that would eliminate my feelings for Blake once and for all.
"I know. I just need to find a way to get over him."
"Was I supposed to help with that?"
"At first, you were. Then I discovered how great you are, but-"
"You can't help who you love." He patted my knee and made his way over to the coat rack.
"So, are we okay?" I asked him while I went to unlock the door.
"Yes, we are," he assured me. "We're going to be friends for a long time." But something in his voice made me believe that wasn't true.
We hugged and I kissed his cheek before he slipped out of my apartment.