I locked the door behind him and sighed. It felt a little bittersweet, saying goodbye to Adam, but at least now I didn't need to pretend anymore. Maybe I should start collecting cats, I thought.
I made a move towards the bathroom to wash up for bed, but a knock at my door stopped me in my tracks. It's probably Adam, I thought, I bet he forgot something. As I walked back to the front door, I quickly glanced around the room to see if I could spot his forgotten item to spare us another awkward goodbye.
"I don't see anything," I said as I opened the door.
But it wasn't Adam who had returned.
It was Blake.
Chapter 19
"Was that your boyfriend?" he asked coolly. He was leaning against the frame of the door, his sculpted arms crossed in front of his chest. Blake stood in front of me as sexy as ever, even in a simple black t-shirt that hugged his muscles in all the right spots and dark blue jeans. The rain was pitter-pattering behind him angrily, yet he was completely dry. How long has he been here? I wondered. "Moved on that quickly, did you?"
His eyes were stony, dull, unimpressed. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was jealous. But there's no time for games right now.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, matching his pose with my own arms crossed in front of my chest.
"Answer me."
"That isn't fair, Blake. You have no right to question what I do in my spare time when you are the one who is engaged!" I was seething.
One pointed look from him, though, and I reconsidered my strategy. I didn't know how he had this effect on me, but it was exactly why I couldn't respond to his texts or phone calls--contact with him always puts me under his spell. Without fail.
I moved towards the couch and plopped down. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get rid of him, not without making a scene and waking all of the neighbors, at least. Just talk to him and get it over with. Then you can finally move on.
"He was just a friend," I finally answered his question.
"Do you kiss all of your friends?" He hiked a perfectly arched brow. Blake was already halfway across my living room, my door shut and locked with a flick of his wrists.
"No! It was a goodbye kiss," I responded, frowning.
He sat on the ottoman in front of me, studying my face to see if I was lying. What is this? I thought.Why is he even here?
"What does it matter to you?" I asked him again. "It's not like I ever actually mattered to you."
"We're going to talk now, Christina. No more running away."
I looked away from him, not wanting to meet his burning gaze. It was hard resisting him when I looked into his eyes.
"You need to understand that I can't stop thinking about you. I haven't been able to stop for ten years, and it isn't going to stop just because you're throwing a tantrum."
"A tantrum?" I asked between gritted teeth.
With a wave of his hand, he quieted me and I waited to hear him out.
"You have been avoiding me for weeks. I have called, texted, emailed, and come to your office to no avail. You were never home when I would come visit, and this is the first night I have had off in weeks."
"Because you were with her?" I asked bitterly, looking away from him again to blink back tears.
"No. Well, yes, but not in the way you think. It's true that Jennifer is my fiancee, but you're the love of my life."
A small sob escaped me, and I immediately hated myself for it. What happened to being strong? "So what is it, then? She's wealthier, thinner, prettier than me? Is that it? Is that what made me dispensable to you? Or why exactly did you think it was okay to string me along and just cast me aside, when you knew I was perfectly happy being alone before I met you? Why did you have to shatter my heart when you knew you were getting serious with Jennifer?" I couldn't help it. All of the questions I'd had, all of the feelings and emotions I'd been enduring, just came tumbling out.
Blake's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and I felt a small smug satisfaction from being able to make him show any sign of emotion. "Is that what you think? Look, Christina, I hardly know Jennifer."
Now it was my turn to be surprised. "What?" I blurted. "So what, was she so hot that you just had to marry her? That worker lady in your building said you two were serious. Don't try to deny it, Blake."
It was quiet for a long while, but when Blake looked at me, his gaze was full of something I hadn't seen from him before. Regret? Anguish? The only interruption to the silence was the rain splattering against the window.
"I never meant to be apart from you for this long," Blake began.
I opened my mouth to interrupt and ask what he meant, but something stopped me. A gut feeling that if I interrupted him now, I might never know the truth, so I kept my mouth shut.
"Remember when I was telling you about that real estate deal that fell through? When we were on our way to my cabin?" Blake glanced at me with stony green eyes, and I nodded an affirmative. He paused and tapped his strong jawline, deep in thought over how he would word what was to come next. "I believe I told you I was finding a way to finagle my way into the deal."