Beyond What is Given

“It’s a kitchen, Gray.”


He rested his forehead against mine, eyes closed, and took a deep breath. Then he leveled a look on his sister that had her backing up. She got the point. Or I think she did. I couldn’t exactly see out of my peripheral vision, and there was no way I was going to glance in her direction. Not when she’d just caught me dry-humping her brother.

“I’ll just…um…make sure I got everything out of your room? Right.” She practically ran.

Grayson turned to stone beneath me and slowly turned his gaze to mine. “Grayson? What does this mean?” Oh great, ask him the ultimate girl question. Good job, Sam. “Not that it has to mean anything, right? I mean, we’re both adults…”

“Stop, please, Sam.” His hands were strong but gentle on my waist as he lifted me off him, waiting until I was steady to release me.

He stood slowly, then put the dining room table between us, just like he had the first morning we met. Did he need to protect himself from me? Wait. He kissed me first. My fingers skimmed across my swollen lips.

He swallowed, examining the table. “I don’t know what it means, and I know if I try to figure it out this second I’m going to end up saying something we’ll both regret, one way or another.”

“What the hell does that mean?” It was suddenly hard to swallow the lump in my throat. “That you shouldn’t have kissed me?” My jumping-Grayson high was quickly plummeting to a he-regrets-me low. You should be used to it. Sam, the quick-fix-regret-later gal.

“I don’t…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I never act on impulse. I just… God, I don’t know. I have to go, our flight is in a couple hours.”

I nodded, locking my jaw, trying to trade the ache in my heart for anger. “Yeah. You should go.” Do not cry. Don’t do it.

He came around the table, and I kept my eyes trained on a large splatter of brownie batter on his shirt. “Samantha.”

I shook my head. “Just go.”

He tilted my chin up, and my rage died. His eyes said everything he didn’t, or couldn’t, and were filled with a kind of pain I couldn’t fathom but illogically needed to soothe immediately. His cheeks scratched my palms with his five o’clock shadow as I cupped them and forced a smile. “Hey. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I’m a big girl.”

“I have to go.”

“You always have to go,” I whispered, and immediately regretted opening my mouth when his eyes closed. “Grayson, go. It’s okay. We can talk, or not talk, when you get back. I’ll be here.”

He opened his eyes and held me captive with a single longing look. “You’ll be here.”

“I’ll be here. I promise. But you do have to do one thing first.” I wrinkled my nose.

“Oh?” That smirk came back out to play, and I just about sang the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

“Take another shower. You’re covered in brownie mix.”

He looked down as if he’d forgotten he wore the sticky mess and sighed. “Right. Okay.” He paused, glancing at my lips, which still hummed from his kiss. His fingers covered mine, and he leaned into my palm. “I have to go.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Yes, you do.”

He nodded, then turned and pressed a kiss into the palm of my hand. Then he left me standing in a brownie-splattered kitchen.

“I think you’re good for him, for whatever my opinion matters,” Mia said, looking over the half wall at the mess we’d created.

“I’m not sure I’m good for myself, let alone Grayson.” I wet the kitchen sponge and headed to the counter. “But your opinion means a ton, Mia. I’m so sorry you walked in on that. Slightly mortified, actually.”

“I just graduated high school. Trust me, I’ve seen worse. Just not with Grayson. It’s nice to see him happy.” I raised my eyebrows at her, and she grinned. “Well, as happy as he gets, I guess. Oh! I almost forgot my phone charger!” She raced up the stairs.

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