I told her everything as the tears fell to a trickle, from Harrison to Grayson, and she didn’t speak, only listened until I’d verbally vomited everything…everything but the emails. “He’s my roommate, Ember. I’m such an idiot.”
She rested her head against mine. “You see the best in everyone, Sam, you always have. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and if that makes you an idiot, then I wish everyone was stupid.”
“And how stupid and selfish does it make me that for the smallest of seconds, when I found out about her, I didn’t care? I just wanted to keep feeling the way I do around him.”
“That just makes you human.”
I had to be stronger than my mistakes if I was ever going to stop the epic fuck-up train I’d somehow boarded this last year. I sent Ember out to dinner with Josh and scoured the kitchen, top-to-bottom, and then I rearranged everything, just to piss Grayson off.
And when he called…I didn’t answer.
Chapter Twelve
Grayson
“I come bearing gifts.” Miranda smiled as she waddled into Grace’s hospital room, a cooler bag over her shoulder. Her blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, highlighting the heart-shaped face she shared with Grace.
“You’re not supposed to be carrying anything.” I took the warm bag.
“Yeah, well I figured you could use some good home cookin’.” She made her way to the chair at Grace’s bedside and deflated into it. “God, I feel the size of a house.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She raised an eyebrow and ignored me. “Nothing new?”
I shook my head. “She’s on antibiotics, so now we wait for the infection to clear.”
“How have you been?” she asked, motioning to the bag. “Eat while you talk.”
I unpacked hot biscuits and gravy. “A lot better now. Thank you, Miranda.”
“Life in Alabama?”
Sam’s face flashed across my mind. Damn it. Why wouldn’t she answer my phone calls? I had to explain. She had to understand.
“Gray?”
I blinked. “Busy.”
“Mom says you’re still here once a month, if not more.”
I nodded. “I get back as often as I can, and it’s never really enough.”
“I…appreciate that. She does, too.” She sighed. “But you have a life to lead, Gray. You can’t just…waste away here with her. I know you want to. I know you would have died in her place. But you didn’t, and you deserve a life that doesn’t revolve around”—she motioned to the hospital room—“around all of this.”
My appetite died a swift death. “It’s exactly what I deserve.”
She tilted her head to the side and rubbed her hand over her stomach. “You didn’t do this to her, Gray. I know no matter how many times I say that, you’re still not going to believe me, but you didn’t do this.”
My gaze darted to Grace, her eyes still closed peacefully as her chest rose and fell with even breaths. It was easier while she slept, where I could pretend that she’d wake up and we’d have the same fight about me going off to the Citadel while she had opted for UNC. When she was awake…well, there was no pretending.
An alarm beeped on Miranda’s phone and she sighed as she silenced it. “Well, that’s my signal to get upstairs to OB. Time for the weekly poke-n-prod. This little gal is just about ready to make her jailbreak.”
I offered my arm and pulled her to standing. “Thanks, Gray. I’m awful with balance lately.”
“No problem.”
“We’re still really hopeful for her cord blood,” she said as she neared the door. “I’ve read a ton of research on stem cells, and if she’s a match, there’s a chance the University of Texas—”
“That’s great, Miranda. I’m really happy for you and James. Your daughter is one lucky kiddo to get you two as parents.” I had to cut her off. Hope was something I couldn’t afford anymore. Not after five years.