Beautiful Broken Things

Rosie was dismissive. ‘They’re just horrible things that happened, Cads. They don’t make me more interesting than you.’

But the thing was, they did. The only interesting story I had to tell about my own life was that of my birth, which aside from my starring role as The Baby really had nothing to do with me. My parents, holidaying in Hampshire several weeks before my estimated arrival day, were stuck in a traffic jam in a little village called Cadnam when Mum went into labour. She ended up having me on the side of the road, with the help of a nurse who happened to be in another car.

This made a great story to pull out of the hat if I ever needed to, and I’d told it so many times (‘Caddy’s an interesting/weird/funny name. What’s it short for?’) I knew what kind of facial expressions to expect from the listener and the jokes they’d likely make (‘Good thing they weren’t driving through Croydon/Horsham/Slough! Ha!’). But that still didn’t make it mine. I couldn’t remember it, and it had no effect on my life. It was a significant event for my parents, not for me.

If anyone asked me for a story from my life in the present tense, I always went blank.

Of course I wasn’t trying to invite tragedy into my life. I knew the takeaway from pain is sadness, not anecdotes. But everything about me and my life felt ordinary, hopelessly average, even clichéd. All I wanted was something of some significance to happen.

And then, so slowly at first I almost didn’t notice it happening, it did.





Tuesday Rosie, 09.07: New girl alert.

Caddy, 10.32: ??

10.34: We have a new girl!

10.39: Really? Details please.

10.44: Her names Suzanne. Seems very cool. More later, maths now.

13.19: She just moved here from Reading. Takes same options as me! V funny.

13.20: I mean shes v funny, not the options thing.

13.28: Cool. How’s everything else?

13.33: Same as. Call me tonight for chattage x

13.35: Will do x

Wednesday 08.33: I am on the bus and I just realized I forgot to brush my teeth.

08.37: Lovely!

10.38: Guess who isn’t a prefect?

10.40: Is it you?

10.42: Yes.

10.43: WOOOHOOOOOO! streamers

10.44: Your support means the world to me.

13.01: You will always be PREFECT to me!

13.05: Um, thanks?

13.06: Geddit?

13.09: Yes!

13.11: HAHAHAHAHA. Suzanne says I shouldn’t laugh because maybe you wanted to be prefect.

13.29: You told her?

13.33: Yeah! I told her you def didnt want to be prefect and I’m laughing in a good way.

13.35: Sz says all of the best people she knows aren’t prefects.

13.40: Cads?

13.46: I def didn’t want to be prefect. Mum wanted me to be though.

13.48: :(

13.49: We’ll be not prefects together xx

Thursday 13.19: Nikki has clocked that Suzanne is cool. She tried to get her to sit with her at lunch.

13.25: Successfully?

13.27: No. Suzanne said she was good with me. Nikki said, you must have noticed she’s a loser by now. Sz was like, wtf? and Nikki goes ‘SERIOUSLY. I’m SAVING YOU.’

13.28: Bitch!!! Are you OK?

13.29. No. I’m crying in the toilets.

13.30: Want me to call you?

13.31: No.

13.31: Yes please.

Friday 09.01: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

09.02: Um, cereal?

09.03: Mum made me pancakes. I WIN!

13.12: Idea. How about I bring Suzanne with me when I come to yours after school? Then you can meet her!

13.42: Sure, OK.

13.43: Yay! You’ll love her, she’s amazing. We’ll come straight over, probs be at yours at about 4.

13.58: See you then x

15.33: WEEKEND!!!





I’d planned to make it to my house before Rosie and Suzanne arrived, mainly because I tried to keep the amount of time Rosie saw me in my school uniform to an absolute minimum. She was lucky enough to have an ordinary uniform – black skirt, white shirt, black cardigan – and she had a tendency to laugh in my face if she ever caught me in mine.

So it was just my luck that I was pushing my key into my front-door lock when I heard the stamp of feet behind me and then there was Rosie, throwing herself up against the still-closed door and pushing her face right up close to mine.

‘Hello!’ she shouted, all smiles.

I had to laugh. ‘Hi,’ I said, twisting the key and opening the door. ‘Any chance I can persuade you to stay out here while I go change?’

‘Nope!’ Rosie said, pushing herself in front of me and blocking the doorway. ‘It’s too late. We’ve both seen you now.’ She gestured behind me. ‘Suze, didn’t I tell you it would be the greenest thing you’ve ever seen?’

I glanced behind me at the new girl, who was smiling. When our eyes met, she grinned. ‘Hi!’ She was effortlessly friendly, her voice upbeat and her face open. ‘I’m Suzanne.’

‘Obviously you’re Suzanne,’ Rosie said, rolling her eyes before turning and heading into my house, leaving the two of us on the doorstep. ‘Who else would you be?’

‘Hi,’ I said, trying to match Suzanne’s bright tone and failing. ‘Um. I guess you know I’m Caddy.’

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