“The music is for our montage,” I pointed out. “If we were actually on a soap right now the music would be part of the chase.”
“Yeah, what is it with the montages?” Landon asked. “You were going to explain it earlier, but then we got distracted.”
“I’m still distracted,” Thistle volunteered. “Your T-shirt is the most distracting thing I’ve ever seen.”
Landon pretended he didn’t hear her. “The music montages, Bay.”
“It’s a normal thing on soaps. I don’t know why.”
“Well, it’s weird.” Landon leaned against a wall and rubbed his forehead. “Does anyone else feel as if we’ve been going in circles for hours?”
“Why do you think she used a montage?” I asked. “She wants us to feel as if it’s been hours. Real time is closer to ten minutes, but I’m exhausted from all the walking we’ve been doing.”
“I’m more tired of the song and the giggling,” Thistle said. “I’m also beyond agitated with the fact that we’re still stuck in this world. How long are we supposed to put up with this?”
“Until she’s finished punishing us.”
“You’re going to blame me for this, aren’t you?” Thistle’s voice was laced with challenge.
I shrugged. “Technically it’s both our fault. I let you talk me into cursing her.”
“And now we’re all paying the price,” Clove supplied, earning a dark look from Thistle. “What? I’m innocent in all of this. You guys got me in trouble. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Thistle waved off the complaint. “We need to get ahead of her. I don’t like being behind.”
“How are we possibly going to figure out what she has planned?” I challenged. “She’s obviously given this place a lot of thought. I mean … look at that guy.” I pointed toward a handsome doctor as he walked into the room directly in front of us. “We’ve passed him three times now.”
“Why is that important?” Landon asked, genuinely curious. “Does he play into this?”
“I don’t think so, but I made note because he’s going to look different when he comes out of that room. We’ve passed him three times and each time it happens. Watch.”
As if on cue, the door opened to allow a different man to exit. He wore the same lab coat, shoes and blue stethoscope as the first.
“What was that?” Landon straightened his back. “Is that supposed to be the same guy?”
I nodded. “Two weeks ago I was talking to Aunt Tillie while she watched General Hospital. She was complaining because one of her favorite characters was recast. They didn’t even announce it. He went to bed one night with one actor playing him and woke the next morning with a different actor playing him. Aunt Tillie was all worked up because she thought the woman who played his love interest on the show should’ve noticed they were two different men.”
“She’s watched soaps long enough to know that’s normal,” Thistle pointed out. “Abrupt recasts happen all the time.”
“And no one thinks that’s weird?” Landon shook his head. “I don’t get it. There’s no logic in this world.”
“Yes, because the fairy tale world was an education on strict logic,” Sam said.
I swallowed a chuckle as Landon scorched him with a dark look. “I don’t think the recast thing is important in the grand scheme of things. It’s just an added detail I picked up. I think Aunt Tillie has been plotting this world for a long time. There’s no way she came up with this in a night, especially on a night we were drinking.”
“So you think she was going to shove us here no matter what,” Clove surmised. “She only did it last night because she was agitated.”
I nodded. “I think we were always going to end up here eventually.”
“I just want to know how many of these worlds she has planned for us,” Landon said. “She watches a lot of television. I’m guessing she enjoys doing this crap enough that she’s going to shove us in a Star Trek episode at some point just to get a few laughs.”
“I’m less worried about Star Trek than I am about her affinity for Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead.”
Landon chuckled. “Every once in a while you show flashes of being an optimist. I don’t know why, but it makes me laugh.”
“I don’t know why either.” I leaned my head against his shoulder, smiling as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “We have to find her. We won’t get out of here until we do.”
“So I guess we should get moving, huh?” Landon slid his arm around my back, furrowing his brow when he focused on the room across the hallway. The window was open, so we could see inside. “One minute ago there was a kid in that bed. Now there’s a teenager.”
I turned in that direction, pursing my lips. “Does the kid look sick?”
“They were fussing over the smaller kid’s head, and he had a big bandage on it,” Landon replied. “From what I could tell, he didn’t have an injury.”
“That’s not unheard of. It’s not as if they shave people’s heads when they’re hurt on soaps. They just pretend they manage to conduct surgery without ruining anyone’s hairline.”
“That’s stupid.”
“You seem to be saying that a lot today.”
“I have a feeling I’m going to keep saying it, too,” Landon said. “The thing is … now there’s a teenager in that bed. He’s wearing the same bandage – although it’s not even like the last one – and the same set of parents are sitting watch. What’s going on?”
“They age soap kids a lot,” I explained. “Very few soap kids keep their roles for the duration. Soaps usually skip the unfortunate puberty stage. They hire cute kids and then replace them with hot teenagers.”
“I see.” Landon made a clucking sound with his tongue. “That’s a bit … extreme.”
“It’s a soap.”
“I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually.”
“Hopefully we won’t be here that long.” I pushed myself away from the wall. “We need to find Aunt Tillie.”
“Yeah, but I think we lost her trail.”
As if on cue, the giggling started again.
“I’m so going to bash that old lady’s face in,” Thistle muttered. “I’m going to enjoy doing it, too. I’m going to sit on her chest and poke it until she cries witch and tells the world I’m smarter and stronger than her.”
“And I thought the people in the soap world were delusional,” Landon drawled.
Thistle cocked an eyebrow. “You’re on my list.”
I heaved out a sigh. “I see we all have lists this go-around. It should be fun when we land back home.”
If you could bring anyone back from the dead, who would it be? I’ve always thought that was over-used on soaps, but I get it now. I often wish I could kill people with the power of my mind and then regret thinking bad thoughts after the fact. If people could come back from the dead – and not in a creepy zombie way – then I could totally kill with impunity and no one would care.
– Aunt Tillie explaining why murder, at least in her case, isn’t an issue
Nine
“Jericho?”
The face that cut us off in the hallway that led to the basement – which was where Aunt Tillie’s infuriating laughter emanated from – belonged to a woman who couldn’t be a day over twenty. Not only was she young and fresh-faced, she was thin and stacked. The latter part was illustrated to perfection thanks to her candy striper uniform. Wait … are candy stripers even a thing anymore?
Landon pulled up short. “Do I know you?”
“Are you … joking?”
“No. I have amnesia.”
I marveled at how quickly Landon embraced the amnesia storyline. He whipped out the explanation whenever questioned at this point. The characters were predisposed to believe it, so I understood the inclination.
“You have amnesia?” The girl’s face twisted into an expression that could only be described as heartbreaking. I didn’t like her on sight, so it made me want to laugh. “But … that will ruin everything.” Her lower lip quivered as her eyes filled with tears. “Are you saying you don’t remember me?”
“Oh, I can’t take this.” Landon scrubbed his hands over his cheeks. “She doesn’t look old enough to play this part of the game.”
“I’m nineteen,” the girl huffed.