Aliens Abroad

While Butler and Reader chose where we were going to land, the rest of us discussed the likelihood of an underground world. We didn’t have a lot of time to do so, however.

“Setting down on what should be solid land,” Reader said. “Prepare for impact, just in case.”

Androids were great at flying space shuttles, because we landed nice and smoothly, almost like a helicopter, only without the noise and the whipping blades. Shuttle was definitely the way to go.

“Check sensors to be sure we can breathe before we open the hatch,” Tito said. “Just in case.”

“Sensors show an Earthlike atmosphere,” Reader said. “Temperatures are moderate for Earth, as well. We should be good.”

The hatch opened and Christopher, who was nearest to it, stepped out slowly. Nothing happened. So he walked all the way down the ramp. No issues.

The rest of us followed suit. “I feel like we totally overdressed for this occasion for some reason,” I said as I looked around. Grass as far as the eye could see. Sure, the grass was up to my knees, but still, it was grass.

Saw a flash of orange out of the side of my eye and looked over at the shuttle. “Who’s there? And by who, I mean I expect Ginger and, most likely, Bruno, to show themselves right now.”

Sure enough, Bruno dechameleoned to show him sitting on Ginger’s back. Neither one of them looked even remotely guilty.

“Why are you two here?”

Ginger yawned, then yowled softly. I managed not to jump up onto Jeff’s shoulders, but it really took an exertion of self-control. “Gotcha. Good Ginger, good Bruno.”

“What did they say?” Jeff asked, in the tone of voice of a man who still couldn’t quite believe that his wife talked to animals all the time.

“Ginger mentions that certain things tend to like to hide in tall grass. Slithery things.” I was terrified of snakes. It didn’t matter that I’d faced gigantic and human versions of them—if it slithered and had no legs, it could send me running off screaming or make me freeze in terror.

Ocellars, as it had turned out, had been trained to fight those gigantic snakes on Beta Eight. And Ginger had gone to town on Earth snakes during Operation Epidemic, too. So her being here suddenly sounded like the greatest plan in the world.

Jeff took and squeezed my hand gently. “You’ll be fine. I won’t let anything hurt you, you know that, baby.”

“The body armor will protect you, too, Kitty,” Chuckie said reassuringly. “It’s why you’re not feeling the grass rubbing against your skin. You can relax, at least a little—no snake is going to bite through this armor.”

“Says you. But fine. I’m still glad I have the Great Snake Killer with us, okay? And Bruno, too, because one should never count a Peregrine out.” Chose not to look into my purse to see if I had Poofs on Board or not. At least, not right now. “But, since we don’t know who or what is or isn’t sentient here, don’t attack anything unless you have to.”

Got consent from both animals that they’d control their bloodthirsty natures, despite their deep desires to kill anything that moved. Using those exact words. Even my pets had sarcasm knobs. Decided not to share this with the others because I wanted to hog the animal sarcasm all for myself.

We wandered around a little bit, no one getting too far from the others, but we had enough people that we could radiate out from the shuttle and still see and hear at least a couple people on either side. No one saw anything other than grass. No one stepped on anything other than grass.

“See or smell or sense anything?” I asked Bruno and Ginger, who were next to me. Received ocellar and Peregrine negatories.

“Everyone back,” Jeff called.

“Where are the insects?” Serene asked as we regrouped. “There should be some, and there aren’t any. Beta Eight had a full planetary infrastructure in terms of life. This planet is clearly alive—you don’t have this much grass on a dead rock—but there’s no infrastructure.”

“I’m going to vote for underground again,” Tim said. “And not just because I suggested it before. Because we had people living underground on Beta Eight.”

“Yeah, but Fancy’s Ferrets were really the only ones doing so. But I vote for underground anyway, because I’m with Serene—it’s way too silent.”

“Ah, I wonder . . .” White said. “Because I see something other than grass, finally.”

“Is it a snake?”

“No, Missus Martini, you can relax. It’s very far from a snake.”

He pointed and we all looked at what he’d seen creeping out of the tall grass. Yep, definitely not a snake.

“Well,” Reader said, “that’s not exactly what I was expecting.”





CHAPTER 30


A RATHER ADORABLE BROWN and white flop-eared rabbit wiggled its cute pink nose at us.

“I’m all kinds of good with the fact that the first creature we’ve encountered here is, as Lizzie would say, totes adorbs. So very totally good with it.”

“Why didn’t we hear it arrive?” Serene asked.

“Maybe because it has soft pads on its paws?” Claudia suggested, in a tone of voice that indicated she was as enamored of the bunny as I was.

“Kitty, maybe we need to get some rabbits for the Zoo,” Lorraine added, echoing the Rabbit Love Tonal Inflection.

“I wish I had a carrot,” Mahin said regretfully.

“Or some food pellets,” Abigail agreed.

“We don’t have rabbits on Beta Twelve,” Rahmi said with even more regret than Mahin had managed for the lack of carrots.

“We should get some for our mother,” Rhee declared. “Clearly our home planet is suffering from the lack of rabbits.”

“Uh, why are all of you, other than Serene, acting like you’re about to offer to marry that rabbit?” Jeff asked.

“Because it’s so adorable!” we all chorused together.

The unison jerked me out of whatever kind of trance I’d been in. Looked at Serene, and noted that it was hard to drag my gaze away from the bunny. “You’re immune?”

She nodded. “I guess so. I mean, it’s cute and I want to pet it, but I’m not making plans to gather a hutch full of rabbits and take them home.”

Had to think before the rabbit’s charisma—and that’s sure what it felt like—dragged my attention back to its fluffy cuteness. “Dudes, are any of you affected by the bunny?”

Got a resounding chorus of nos, with similar caveats to those Serene had given. Considered why.

“It’s a troubadour rabbit. Or something like that. It’s exerting charisma or whatever at us and for whatever reason, it’s focused on the females. Serene’s immune because she’s a stealth troubadour and therefore is probably stronger with the skill than almost anyone else.”

The other gals were still gazing adoringly at the rabbit. It was really hard for me not to look right back at it. Noted that while the men and Serene didn’t seem as enthralled by the bunny, they were all staring at it. Oliver started taking pictures of it.

“John, are you affected?”

There was no answer. Tried to look around for what could have happened to Butler, but my gaze was dragged back to the most adorable thing in the galaxy.

Gini Koch's books