A BLANKET OF FURRY CUTENESS appeared on the ground where we were standing. The Poofs looked at the bunnies. Could tell that the Most Adorable Bunny In Existence was trying to control them.
Harlie, the Head Poof, was having none of it and neither was Toby, Christopher’s Poof. They both went large and in charge, meaning they were now taller than Jeff and had full mouths of razor-sharp teeth. Then they roared.
To the bunnies’ credit, none of them panicked. However, all the rabbits holding onto Christopher let go and hopped over to the Most Adorable Bunny In Existence. It was clear they’d gone to protect him.
Toby went back to small and jumped onto Christopher’s shoulder. “Thanks, buddy,” he said, petting his Poof. “I appreciate the save.” Toby purred, snuggled into Christopher’s neck, and stayed on his shoulder, instead of going into his pocket as was normal for most of the Poofs, especially those who belonged to the guys.
Harlie stayed large and in charge and right in front of the Most Adorable Bunny In Existence. Went over to the Poof and patted it. “What a good Poof you are, Harlie.” This earned me very loud purrs. Looked back at SuperBun. “We came here to ask for help and see if we could help you guys in return. Instead, you tried to mind-control us, then attacked us, and you took one of our team members somehow. I want him back, unharmed, or everyone in my ship’s going to be rolling with a lot of extra luck.”
SuperBun cocked its head at me. He didn’t get the joke, though he was clear that I was making one.
“Oh. On our planet, which we call Earth, rabbits such as yourselves are plentiful, at least rabbits that look like you guys. Carrying a rabbit’s foot is considered good luck. That foot is never attached to the rabbit. Got it, Bugs?”
SuperBun was appalled. And about to tell his warriors to attack. The bunny in my arms was ready to claw me to get away.
Heaved a sigh and petted the cottontail. “Dudes, we are not here to make rabbit fricassee, and yes, on Earth many people eat rabbits. You guys are delicious. You’re also adorable and many keep your kind as pets. On the other hand, we,” indicated the others with me, “aren’t here to try to turn any of you into food, clothing, animal companions, or lucky charms. You’re a sentient race and therefore off limits for things like that. At least as far as we and the rest of the planets we’re aligned with feel.”
Heard Jeff mutter, “Only my girl,” and then start sharing, very quietly, what SuperBun had been and was saying. Well, he did have that Surcenthumain boost and it was a good time to be using his mindreading skills.
So, Jeff got to share that SuperBun wasn’t so sure he trusted me.
“That’s cool. I don’t trust you, either.” Spent this time soothing the cottontail by petting it. It stopped freaking and relaxed against me. “Since you wanted me to worship you and all that. I tend to really dislike people who try to make me worship them, call it a personal failing.”
SuperBun apologized for that. It was their standard operating procedure when visitors from other planets arrived.
“You get a lot of them?”
SuperBun shared that they did not see many visitors from other planets, though they did get some, which made them extra cautious.
“Gotcha. We didn’t mean to barge in. We need help, and we were told that you guys needed help, too. We were hoping to help you and that then you’d be willing to help us.”
SuperBun was mildly intrigued and wanted to know what it was we wanted.
“Chlorophyll.”
He wanted an explanation. Couldn’t blame him.
“Our spaceship needs it to help keep us fueled up and all that jazz. I’m honestly not sure how it works, just that it does and that someone stole all of our chlorophyll stores so we’re kind of up the creek without a paddle, if that metaphor means anything to you.”
SuperBun nodded. The metaphor didn’t, but he got the general gist. They had plenty of chlorophyll, but it took time to refine, so to speak.
“We have a super-harvester thingy. So that should speed things up. If you’re amenable to our doing so.”
SuperBun might be willing. But he was interested in the fact that I’d said that his planet needed help. Because, as far as he knew, they were A-okay.
This was a tough one. I could say that I knew the system had two superconsciousnesses fighting for control, or that this planet had a mad scientist. However, the reality was that SuperBun could be either Grumpy, Dopey, or the mad scientist.
Chose to stall. “I’d like to get our missing team member back first. Once I know he’s okay that would sort of prove to me that you’re not enemies to us and also that you’re probably not harboring whoever or whatever the trouble is.”
SuperBun didn’t find this to make sense. He was clear that returning our robot to us would show that we and they weren’t enemies, but he didn’t understand how returning said robot to us would indicate anything about them being part of whatever we thought was or wasn’t alright.
“He’s an android, at least as we call them on our planet. And, frankly, we want him back before we have any further discussions. I have no idea how your people took him in the first place, but I want to be sure he’s fine, unharmed, unaltered, and back with me. Or I tell the Poofs to all go large and in charge and they show you that they’ve got the market on cute and cuddly as well as big and terrifying. Up to you.”
SuperBun noted that I tended to threaten a lot.
“Yep. That’s me, Miz Diplomacy. I can ask one of my team who’s a lot better with the diplomatic charm to talk to you. He, however, is going to ask the same thing that I am, which is to return our android to us. Isn’t that right, Mister White?”
White joined me. “It is, Missus Martini. Though I have no clear idea of what our friend’s side of the conversation has been, since we’re all dependent upon Jeffrey’s translations, since no one but you can mind-meld with animals.”
SuperBun cocked his head. He was surprised. All our animals were telepathic, and he could tell that many with us had telepathic powers. So why was I the only one who could talk to him and the other animals?
“It’s my gift, my talent. Presumably, at any rate. Beyond that, no clue.” Before SuperBun could comment there was a loud hissing sound. “Oh my God, are there snakes here?” Clutched the cottontail to me and got ready to jump onto White’s shoulders, tell Ginger to attack, and signal the Poofs to go into whatever size might work to back her up.
SuperBun reassured. No snakes. They’d killed all the snakes long ago. In fact, his rabbit army had killed all other predators when he was a young bunny. He eyed Ginger, Bruno, and Harlie in an obvious manner. They didn’t seem fazed.
Did what I did whenever I didn’t want Jeff to pick up that I thought some other man was hot—thought about flowers. Hoped this meant that I’d managed to keep the thought that SuperBun’s odds of being the mad scientist we were supposed to stop were definitely getting higher out of the forefront of my mind. Had no idea how my animal telepathy worked, but really didn’t want this thought getting out there.