“Ginger, Bruno,” I managed through gritted teeth, “look around. I don’t think we’re going to be alone.”
Ginger growled low and Bruno made a soft hissing sound. We were definitely not alone.
“Gang, we’re surrounded by bunnies.”
“Good!” Claudia said. The rest of the gals other than Serene echoed her.
“I think it’s starting to get to me,” Serene said. “I can’t look away.” The men all agreed that they couldn’t look away, either.
Ginger growled again. The rabbits were creeping closer and there were a whole lot of them.
Had no idea what had happened to Butler or what was going to happen to us, but knew I had to do something. Took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and concentrated, searching for the rabbits’ minds.
Felt something. I’d never really communed with bunnies before, so I wasn’t sure if it was them or not. But didn’t figure that we had a lot of time, so I focused all my mental energy on shouting that we were coming in peace and that they needed to stop attacking us.
The Most Adorable Bunny In Existence made eye contact with me. He wanted me to worship him. In fact, he felt that my worship was all it would take for him to be mine forever and for us to live in happy harmony for the rest of our days. Felt my knees wanting to hit the ground.
One of the best things about my Dr. Doolittle talent was that I didn’t really have a lot of control over it. The animals had far more control than I did. Meaning that if they didn’t want me to understand them, I didn’t understand. But it also meant that I wasn’t really able to be all that selective in who I thought at.
So Ginger and Bruno heard this mental exchange. And Ginger and Bruno, being animals themselves and predators to boot, appeared to be immune to the rabbit’s charms. Possibly more importantly, they were among my favorites and jealous to keep their spots in the Animal Hierarchy of my mind. Bottom line—they did not approve of these rabbit shenanigans.
Bruno lifted up, impressive wingspan spread to full, shrieking a Peregrine war cry. He flew at the Most Adorable Bunny In Existence, then at the other rabbits surrounding us. They all stopped advancing.
Meanwhile, Ginger did something very catlike. She scratched me.
“Yow!” Jumped and looked around. “How did you scratch me through the body armor?”
Ginger sniffed, studied her claws in that way cats will, then sauntered off to scratch everyone else. Bruno did one more threatening sweep, then he landed on my shoulder, where he could keep an eye on all the enemy rabbits.
“Beta Eight claws,” Serene said as she held her leg. “I think ocellars might have a claw enhancement that we haven’t noted before now.”
“They were bred to kill Snakipedes,” Reader pointed out, also holding his leg.
“Bullets can’t get through this stuff,” Tim said as he limped closer to Reader. “Or lasers. But ocellar claws, it’s no big deal? We need to talk to Drax about his design skills.”
“We need to thank Ginger,” Jeff said, as she finished scratching everyone and breaking the Bunny Spell. “For saving us from whatever the hell we were under and also for not once clawing anything in the White House, the Embassy, or the Zoo. This is the best cat in the galaxy, right here.”
Ginger purred loudly and rubbed up against Jeff’s legs. He stroked her head, which earned him more purrs and rubbing. Then she turned to the Most Adorable Bunny in Existence and snarled a very mean, nasty, and above all, loud snarl. Jeff, like all the rest of us, was hers, thank you very much, and no damned rabbit with supercharisma was going to change that.
The rabbit backed up a hop. Interesting.
Jeff looked at the Most Adorable Bunny In Existence. “Time to tell us what the hell you were doing, or we aren’t going to be coming in peace any longer.”
“Look, they’re rabbits,” Christopher said. “What are they going to do to us? Bite our ankles?”
“Rabbits have sharp, nasty teeth,” I pointed out. “And, as Monty Python and the Holy Grail has taught us, they can be killers.”
“Killers of lettuces, maybe,” Christopher said.
Which apparently did not sit well with the bunnies nearest to him. Possibly because Christopher wasn’t all that near to either Ginger or Bruno. One of them lunged at him and sank its teeth into his leg.
“Ack! Get it off me! Get it off me!” Christopher flailed around, though it was clear that while Ginger’s claws had cut through the body armor, the rabbit’s had not. However, its teeth were sunk in well enough that Christopher wasn’t shaking it off.
“Calm down, son,” White said. “It’s just a rabbit, remember?”
“Hilarious, Dad. Get it off me!” He was still trying to kick the rabbit off. This seemed to enrage the rest of the bunnies nearby, and more of them leaped onto him. Bruno and Ginger allowed this, which I found interesting. Presumed it meant they were talking to the rabbits on a channel I couldn’t mentally access. Or else they didn’t like Christopher as much as they did the rest of us. Possibly both, but I chose to be charitable and assume it was that they were chatting with the bunnies in some way.
Christopher spun around to try to dislodge them, but it didn’t work. He spun faster, which didn’t work all that well. One rabbit flew off and landed right in my arms, but only one. The rest of them seemed to have death grips on his legs. Apparently my pit bull Duchess had nothing on these rabbits. Kind of wished she was on this journey with us—we could have used her help.
The cottontail in my arms looked up at me suspiciously. “Not going to hurt you if you’re not going to hurt me. You try to hurt me, however, and all bets are off, and I’m sure Bruno and Ginger already told you that.”
The rabbit wiggled its ears, blinked its eyes, and wrinkled its nose. Realized with some relief that I finally understood Bunny Talk. About time.
Knew what to do. “Christopher—apologize.”
“What the hell?” He slowed down. “Why?”
“Because you were belittling and they didn’t like it. Just stop trying to toss them off you and say you’re sorry. Like you would to any other security team that you’d angered for the wrong reasons.”
“It’s just like on Beta Eight,” Chuckie said. “They may not look like they’re sentient, but they clearly are. So treat them as such.”
“Fine. Look, I’m sorry about the lettuce joke. Please let go of me.”
The rabbits didn’t release. Got the distinct impression they weren’t sure yet if they were going to attack all of us or not, Ginger and Bruno or no Ginger and Bruno. Also decided that mind control stuff was something I wanted to avoid any of us experiencing again. And last but not least, Butler was missing.
Time to stop being nice and call in the cavalry.
“Poofs Assemble!”
CHAPTER 31