Aliens Abroad

“Yeah, I haven’t seen Fluffy Death since we got on board.”

“You know . . . that’s weird. I mean, the Poofs go with us everywhere. Why wouldn’t they come with us for this?”

“No idea, Kitty. The Poofs are your bailiwick. Just like the rest of the animals.”

The music changed to “Animal House” by Stephen Bishop. And my brain nudged again. “You know . . .”

“I know that look. That’s a Megalomaniac Girl look.”

“Yeah, it is, though it should probably be a Doctor Doolittle look. Remember how we said if one team could smuggle themselves on, why not others?”

“Yeah. Oh! Wow. You think the animals are stowed away somewhere?”

“I do.” Heaved a sigh, then ensured my voice sounded firm but fair. “Poofs, Peregrines, and all other Animal Friends assemble!”

Results were immediate.

Sure enough, we had a tonnage of Poofs, a whole lot of Peregrines, and one ocellar and chocho in the forms of Ginger and Wilbur. Ocellars looked like a combination of caracals and foxes, only slightly larger, oranger, and more predatory than both. Chochos were basically pig-dogs, complete with bristly fur, curlicue tails, and a honking kind of bark. Both breeds were from Beta Eight. I’d met Ginger and Wilbur during Operation Civil War and they’d come home with me, along with enough other ocellars and chochos that we had plenty by now, both in the Embassy and Washington Zoos. But these two lived with me in the White House.

“I’m amazed you didn’t bring the regular dogs and cats along, too.” Said with only some sarcasm.

Bruno warbled at me. Apparently not all the Poofs and Peregrines were in attendance, either.

“Gotcha. The others had to stay home to ensure that my dad had animals to focus on so he wouldn’t note that the ones closest to his daughter and her family are all suspiciously absent. Good plan. You do realize my dad isn’t nearly as dense as he acts, right?”

Bruno warbled again, bobbed his head, and clawed at the carpet.

“Fine, yes, I’m sure they’ll keep him occupied enough that he doesn’t blow our subterfuge or whatever. Of course, to burst your planning bubble, my mom said she was going to tell him what was going on.”

Bruno scratched and warbled again.

“Good, I’m so glad you approve. And yes, some need to be on guard regardless of who knows what, so, good plan. I guess.”

“I’m more curious as to why they were hidden,” Tim said.

“Good point. Why didn’t you guys let us know you were on board? Everyone’s been stressed and could have used some animal snuggles.”

Bruno heaved a bird sigh, gave me the “why me?” look in avian, and looked over at Harlie. Who bounced up and down, mewling.

“Seriously? That’s ridiculous.”

“What? What’s ridiculous?” Tim asked. “I don’t speak fur or feathers.”

“The Poofs were jealous that we let the least weasels come on board in an unstealthy and somewhat honorary manner. Which is silly in the extreme. They’re a present from the Ard Ri.” And I knew damn well that all the animals were clear on who Algar was—he was the Poof’s One True Owner, after all, and the Peregrines had definitely figured that all out. By now, I assumed all the animals knew. Since I was pretty much the only one they could talk to about it, it wasn’t exactly a security risk for Algar.

“The weasels are cute, but they’re not Poofs,” Tim pointed out.

“True enough. And I’m sure once the Ard Ri meets all of you that he’ll be super impressed by one and all and demand Poofs and such for himself.” Unlikely. All the Poofs were probably considered Algar’s anyway and if he didn’t have a Peregrine by now it was because he didn’t want one. But I had to say something so as not to give away the fact that the Poofs were pouting because their One True Owner had another set of pets.

“We’re giving him a Poof?” Tim asked, sounding more than a little shocked.

“Who knows? That’s kind of up to them.” But a thought occurred. “You know . . . Mister Joel Oliver is on the ship. So, did Bellie manage to sit this one out or is she stowed away elsewhere?” Got hit with the Sea of Animal Innocence Looks. Snorted. “Where is she and how is she managing to stay quiet?”

Bruno cawed and clawed the carpet.

“You going to share?” Tim asked.

“Sure. She’s hiding in the room the press is assigned to. Apparently, that’s her version of being stealth.”

“Worked well and, let’s be honest—she’s more stealthy than the hackers.”

“Good point.”

“So, I want to know why Ginger and Wilbur are here,” Tim said. “The Poofs and Peregrines I get, Bellie coming with MJO isn’t a surprise. But not these two.”

“Well?”

Ginger yawned, purred, stretched, then started cleaning her fur. Wilbur honk-barked and wagged his curly tail in a circular motion.

“So? What’s the reason?” Tim asked me.

Heaved a sigh. “They wanted to go on vacation with us, too.”

Tim shook his head. “This is one hell of a vacation.”

“Potentially, it’s no worse than some.” I’d been on some doozies during college. Any vacation Chuckie wasn’t on with me, as I thought about it. Cheered up a bit. He was sure as heck with us for this one, so perhaps this would turn out well.

Tim’s turn to snort. “True enough. We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere and have to help some people we don’t know out of trouble in order to get out of town. My family did their best to avoid vacations like this.”

“Mine, too. However, it’s what we’ve got and I, personally, feel a lot better with the animals around.”

“I’ll feel better about them, too, once we find out how many more people or creatures have stowed aboard.”

“None,” someone said, causing both of us to jump.

Turned as I landed to see Wruck there. “We’ve searched the ship. Barring other animals or people able to blend as Benjamin and the Peregrines do, this is everyone. I was coming to tell you that I’d found the parrot, but I see you found all the other animals as well.”

Managed to refrain from saying that Benjamin and the Peregrines would be an awesome name for a band, but it took effort. “Bellie shared that the others were on board?”

“She did. Under duress,” Wruck said to the animals, who seemed appeased or unsurprised, depending. Yeah, Bellie was a bigmouth. But she was, as I’d learned during Operation Fundraiser, a very loyal bigmouth, so I wasn’t all that sad that she’d stowed away, too.

“Gotcha. Does Mother know? About all the animals being here, I mean.”

“I assume so,” Wruck said. “However, she may not care. Repairs are still being made.”

“Ah, did the other guys do what we thought they would?” Tim asked.

Wruck stared at him for a moment. “Oh. No, I don’t think so. Currently it doesn’t seem necessary.”

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