He looked extraordinarily grumpy as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What? I could have. I’m great at everything I do.”
“We absolutely don’t have time for your ego right now,” I said, waving my hand. “In case you can’t remember, we’re trying to rescue the King.”
He looked even grumpier at that. I had to remind myself that I’d already decided no blow jobs. The things I sacrificed for Verania. Once freed from the dungeons, the King was going to need to be made aware of my selflessness.
“Now,” I said, clapping my hands. “Shall we?”
Ryan pushed by me, muttering what I assumed were compliments about the power of my sexuality under his breath. I heard the jingle of keys from one of the pockets of his robes. He stood in front of the door, eyeing it warily.
“Do you not remember how keys work?” I asked him slowly. “Because I can show you if you—”
“I’m readying myself,” he snapped. “For all we know, the door is booby-trapped and will explode the moment we open it.”
“Then why would the Darks have been guarding it—from your expression, that was the wrong thing to say. Instead I am going to validate your concerns, because that’s what a good boyfriend does.”
“Oh, is that what a good boyfriend does? I thought a good boyfriend offered himself up like a sexual platter for Darks to feast upon.”
Sexual platter, I mouthed to Justin, who sighed and shook his head.
“I wouldn’t have slept with them,” I told Ryan. “You’re my one and only.”
His eyebrows looked like he didn’t agree with me.
I kissed his cheek.
His mouth twitched a little.
“You know that one thing you like that I do with my tongue underneath your balls?” I whispered in his ear. “I’ll do that to you later.”
“Blech,” Lady Tina said. “We can hear you.”
Ryan flushed furiously, but he looked placated. The promise of a hummer will do that to anyone.
He put the key into the lock, and while I didn’t think it would explode the moment it opened, I wasn’t going to take the chance. I readied myself to freeze time if I had to (something I didn’t even know if I could do, but it sounded good, so whatever).
The tumblers clicked loudly as he turned the key.
We all held our breaths.
The door did not explode.
He pulled the key out.
We sighed.
“Okay,” he said, shaking his head. “I think we’re good.”
And then he reached for the handle and opened the door to Castle Lockes.
Chapter 10: Do You Even Lift, Bro?
IT WAS odd being back in Castle Lockes after all this time. I’d been through the knights’ entrance countless times, but the moment we stepped through the door and shut it behind us, it was like I was seeing everything with new eyes.
A long stone hallway stretched out in front of us, lit by torches that hung on the walls. The ceiling was so low, Ryan could have reached up and touched it. The air was musty and dank, and it smelled so much like home that I had to take a moment to breathe it in to commit it once again to memory.
“Remember,” Justin said, sounding just as affected. “We move quickly and quietly. Do not engage unless necessary. Keep your heads low, and don’t draw attention. Sam, that means no getting distracted by—Sam, are you even listening to me?”
I wasn’t but said, “Yeah, yeah, sure,” as I stared at a painting of a Dark wizard throwing a child into a moat while other Darks cheered around him. “Was this here before? Because if it was, remind me to put in a request to the King to have the artist sent to the dungeons. And if it wasn’t, I call dibs on taking out the artist who thinks he can paint better than me.”
“Noted,” Justin said through gritted teeth. “Now, can we focus, please?”
“I mean, do they think it’s okay just to hang up art anywhere they want—”
“Sam!”
“Right. Focusing. Carry on.”
“No distraction, no deviations, no engaging. We are in, and out, and that is it.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “After all, what could possibly go wrong?”
The others groaned.
“Why would you say that?” Tina demanded.
“It’s like you want us to fail,” Justin groaned.
“I mean, there were only four of them,” Ryan growled. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, my biceps were bigger than all of theirs. Combined.”
We stared at him.
He glared at us.
“Great,” Justin muttered. “Just great.”
The hallway was empty, and as we moved ahead, we listened for movement. Aside from the usual sounds of a castle creaking and settling, it was quiet.
“A little too quiet,” I muttered.
“What was that?” Ryan asked.
“I said, it’s a little too—” And then I ran smack-dab into someone coming from a hallway to my left.
“Kill it with fire!” I squeaked, because apparently I scared easily.
“Please don’t kill it with fire!” came the response as I jumped back. “I would really rather not burn to death, my lords.”
It was a woman I recognized, a member of the cleaning staff handpicked by the King. They took their work seriously and considered it an honor to serve the King. The maids and butlers had their own rooms in the castle, were paid and fed well, and were treated like every other member of the King’s staff. Or at least they had been before Myrin took over.
She looked tired now, aged far beyond her forty-odd years. Her eyes were wide and fearful as she looked away from us, wringing her hands. I wondered why she was so scared, and was about to console her until I remembered we were in disguise.
Which, great. We weren’t recognizable. But awful too, because that meant she was scared of us.
“Yes, well,” I said, hating myself for it. “See that it doesn’t happen again. Why are you even up and about? It’s the middle of the night.”
She looked confused. “You only allow us a few hours of sleep per week, my lord. Now is not my sleeping time.”
“Those monsters,” I breathed. Then I coughed. “I mean, right. Right. Well, then, go about your business, and don’t let me catch you slacking off.”
She nodded and turned, obviously wanting to get away from us as quickly as possible.
“Wait!” Justin said before she could get too far.
She stiffened but turned around slowly. “My lord?”
“The King.”
She took a step back.
“Is he guarded?”
“Yes?” she said, as if she thought it was a trick question. “Always.”
“How many?”
“Two of you,” she spat at him. And then she added, “My lord.” Pride swelled in my chest at the anger in her voice.
Justin nodded, and she fled.
“Exactly what the Dark prisoners back at Camp HaveHeart said,” Ryan said. “Good to know.”
“Two,” Lady Tina said. “We can take two of them.”
Justin rubbed his double chin in thought. “I want you to stay here,” he said, staring after where the maid had disappeared. “Keep the hallway free of any obstruction. When we’ve freed my father, we’ll need to move quickly. And the fewer of us moving about the castle, the better. Do you understand?”
Lady Tina snapped to attention, nodding tightly. It would have been impressive if I didn’t dislike everything about her. “Yes, Your Highness.”
“Take whatever action you deem necessary to keep the hallway clear, but stay out of sight as much as possible. I’m counting on you.”
She preened a little like an undeserving show dog with mange, but moved to stand against the far wall, where she had a view of all approaches.
Ryan nodded at her as he followed Justin.
“Sam,” she said as I passed her by.
I sighed as I stopped. “What?”
“Keep them safe.”
I scoffed. “I’ve been keeping them safe longer than you’ve decided to pretend to have a soul. You don’t need to worry about that.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “And I’ve been protecting them since you decided to disappear into the forest.”
Why did she keep having valid points? What kind of Dark magic was this? “I am going to—”
“Sam! Move your ass.”
Tina grinned smugly. “You heard the Prince, Sam.”
If looks could kill, Lady Tina’s entire bloodline would have been obliterated right then and there, even though I was almost begrudgingly impressed.
I grumbled as I followed my knight and my best friend 5eva, leaving Lady Tina behind.