“Yeah, but let’s be honest here. The Darks suck ass. It doesn’t matter what color your skin is or how much money you have. I’d rather be with those people than with fucknuts.”
“As topical as this is,” Lady Tina said through gritted teeth, “maybe keep quiet for now? We’re not exactly going to be the only ones on the streets.”
She was right, of course.
I’d never admit that out loud.
Because she also sucked ass.
We kept to the shadows, moving through the City as quickly and quietly as we could. I was surprised at just how little resistance we met, given that I expected checkpoints on almost every corner. Maybe it was because we knew this City better than the Darks ever could, knew the side streets and the rooftops that would let us move almost undetected. In fact, I was starting to feel a little cocky about everything when—
“Stop!”
We all froze on the sidewalk.
“You there. You four!”
We turned slowly.
A single Dark wizard rushed toward us, robes flapping. He had a pencil-thin mustache over his upper lip. His mouth was twisted into a scowl, his brow furrowed. Great wisps of black hair flew up around his head as he moved. He wore large glasses with thick lenses that made his eyes look huge.
He was panting by the time he reached us. He bent over, hands on his knees, gasping for breath.
I was about to kick him in the face when he said, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Um,” I said.
“Well,” Ryan said.
“You see,” Lady Tina said.
“Idiots,” Justin muttered. Then, “We’re on patrol, of course.”
Oh. Right! We had a cover story.
“Yes,” I said, because I felt the need to help. “That. Exactly that. Patrol, of course.”
Justin kicked the back of my leg as a reminder that I was not allowed to speak, given that I couldn’t lie for shit.
“Who is your supervisor?” the Dark demanded.
“Merle,” I blurted out.
Justin groaned behind me.
“Merle,” the Dark said. “I don’t know any Merle.”
I gasped. “You don’t? Oh my gods, that’s awful. He isn’t going to like it when we tell him that. No, I expect him to actually be very upset about it. And then he’ll probably do some Dark wizard things, like monologue unnecessarily or kick kittens with big eyes who don’t deserve it because all they want is to have a home of their very own.”
The Dark stared at me. “What.”
I shook my head ruefully. “How disappointing.”
“He kicks kittens?”
“Quite viciously.” I looked away, gazing into the distance, thinking about just how appalling it all was. “Once, he dropkicked one over the wall. Said the next time someone didn’t know who he was, he was going to dropkick them.”
The Dark winced. “He sounds very strict.”
“The strictest.”
“I had a kitten once.”
“Oh. Great. Um. Please. Tell me more.”
The Dark sighed. “He was this scrappy little thing. My pa got him for me. For my birthday. I have issues with my father, you know, deep-seated issues that I’ll probably never get over, but that day I thought maybe it was going to be okay. But it turned out it wasn’t a kitten at all. You see, I was practically blind at that point, not yet having been fitted for eyewear, and it turned out my kitten was actually a rat.”
“That’s… um. That’s super sad. Oh, you. There, there. It’s okay.”
The Dark shrugged awkwardly. “Yeah, it really hurt. I still think about it sometimes. Have you ever held a rat?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
“They don’t feel very nice.”
“You don’t say.”
“Yeah.”
“Well,” I said as I clapped my hands. “This has just been swell. You learned things, we learned things—unfortunately—and now we’ll continue on our way and you can forget you ever saw us.”
“Yes,” the Dark said. “That sounds fine. Thank you for listening to me. I should—wait. Why should I forget I ever saw you? Who did you say your supervisor was?”
I widened my eyes in surprise, looking over his shoulder. “Oh no, look! There’s your father bringing you another rat!”
“No, Papa, no!” the Dark cried as he whirled around.
I punched him in the back of the head. “Motherfucker,” I howled, shaking my hand against the biting pain. “What is your head made of? Bone?”
He held his head as he turned back toward us. “Did you just punch me?”
“Yes. Why aren’t you unconscious? Everyone knows if you hit someone in the back of the head, they get knocked out!”
“I just don’t understand why you would hit me! How uncalled-for. Here I am, pouring my heart out about my rat-giving father, and you hit me? Are you trying to make me regress to my childhood? Papa, is that you? Why can’t you love me?”
“Heeeee-yaaaah,” Lady Tina shrieked as she pushed me aside and roundhouse kicked the Dark in the face. He immediately crumpled to the ground, out cold.
“Whoa,” I said. “Like, I still don’t like you, dude, so, so much, so do not take this as a compliment. But that was badass.”
“Thank you,” she said primly, adjusting her robes.
“Still wasn’t a compliment, so. You know. No need for thanks.”
“You said I was badass.”
“Would you two stop flirting?” Justin snapped. “We don’t have time for this.”
“Flirting?” I gasped. “Are you out of your godsdamned mind?”
“As if I would ever,” Lady Tina exclaimed.
“Stay away from him,” Ryan warned her. “I don’t care that you guys have a history of mutually adoring me. You don’t get to touch him.”
“Ha!” I crowed at her. “You don’t get to touch me.”
“Like I would want to,” she snarled at me. “I don’t have a thing for unattractive people.”
“Oooh,” I breathed. “Gary! Did you hear that? You need to bring the pain—oh, wait. They’re not here. Dammit. Why couldn’t we bring Gary and Tiggy again so they could have my back? Oh, right. The Darks would recognize them because of their existence. Dammit. I guess that means Lady Tina can stay.”
She glared at me.
I winked at her.
“Stop flirting,” Ryan growled at me.
“Why is this my life?” Justin asked no one in particular.
SINCE WE couldn’t very well march up to the front gates of Castle Lockes and demand entrance no matter how good our disguises were, we had to come up with another way inside.
Ryan had an alternative. Given his role as the Knight Commander, he had access to a master key that opened most doors in Castle Lockes. Oh, not all, of course, because the King understood the value of privacy, but the necessary doors? All Ryan. And he, aside from the King, was the only one in possession of such a key. I could probably break whatever door we had to get into, but the less magic I used, the better, especially given we didn’t know how far Myrin’s reach extended. I’d felt him before, back in Mashallaha, calling me to him. And now that he’d consumed Morgan’s magic, I needed to do all I could to lie low.
So the front door was out.
But a side entrance? Perhaps one used by the knights to go in and out of the castle on their way to the training fields?
That was possible.
Well. It should have been possible.
Except for the fact that there were four Darks standing in front of it, shooting the shit without a care in the world.
“Dammit,” Ryan whispered as we peered around one of the King’s stables. “There’s too many of them. We can’t risk them raising an alarm. We need to find another—”
“Don’t worry,” I said, eyeing each of the Darks individually. “I got this.”
“What?” Justin hissed. “You can’t just—”
“Babe, tell him how villains love me.”
“He doesn’t need to tell me. Everyone knows about their weird obsession with you. But in case you didn’t know, we’re trying to remain undercover. You can’t just go out there and be gross with them!”
“I’m kind of going to agree with Justin,” Ryan said.
I glared at him. “So this is what betrayal tastes like. Bitter.”