I opened my eyes.
Ryan Foxheart stood before me, my face cupped in his hands. His eyes were bright and his touch soft, and all those pulses in my head faded as I was consumed only by him. This was something the Great White could never understand. Yes, it was dangerous that someone as powerful as me could put my faith in someone so breakable, someone so human. If something were to happen to him, if he was taken from me, I didn’t know what would happen. What I’d become.
But what the Great White didn’t get about my cornerstone—or cornerstones in general—was that they were good and kind and strong themselves. Ryan was chosen for a reason. He was brave and selfless, dashing and immaculate, and I’d loved him for almost as long as I’d known him. He was the foundation upon which I had built all I had.
My wonderful, foolish knight.
And so I just… let go.
The green and gold faded.
The gathering magic dissipated.
“You with me?” he asked quietly, his breath warm on my face.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’m with you.”
“What the hell was that?” Gary demanded from behind me.
I took a step away from Ryan, his hands falling from my face. “That was me becoming a wizard much quicker than I was supposed to.” I shook my head. “What the Great White did to me, it—I’m not unstable, but it’s….”
“Big,” Tiggy said. “Sam has big magic. Big big.”
“Big big,” I agreed. “Everything I am, everything I’ve become, it’s big big. Bigger than any one person has had before. Add the dragons to that mix and I’m a little… volatile. It’s hard being back here. Surrounded by people I don’t trust. Not you guys,” I added quickly, before they could protest. “Just… everyone else. You say they believe in me. Fine. Okay. But I don’t believe in them. Not yet. Especially Lady Tina. I don’t know if I ever will. And you can’t blame me for that.”
“Are you in control?” Gary asked.
I shrugged. “Mostly.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Oh. Sorry. Uh. Yes. Totes in control. I got this, dude.”
“Feel a little worse now. What the hell did he do to you?”
Ah, and wasn’t that the thing. I could still hear his voice in my head, whispering to me, telling me that there was a very real chance I would not survive. You are strong, he’d said. Stronger than I’ve ever seen. But you have months to learn what should take a wizard decades. There is a chance of death. And if not death, then madness. We will find out just how lightning-struck your heart actually is, and if it’s capable of being torn into pieces.
“What he had to,” I said, sure that any answer I was willing to give would be unsatisfactory.
“Kevin’s eyes go all black,” Tiggy said thoughtfully. “With your big big.”
“Yeah,” I said scratching the back of my head. “They tend to do that.”
“Others too?”
“Yeah.”
He frowned before tapping the side of his head. “You hear them? In head?”
I squinted at him. “How’d you know that?”
“Like before. Zero. Pat and Leslie in the snow. All the time now?”
“No. Just….”
“With the big big.”
“Yeah. With the big big.”
“Your head should be your own,” he said, and showed me that no matter how long I’d known him, he could still surprise me. “Think for yourself.”
“You are the best half-giant alive,” I said in awe.
He preened.
“But you’ll still help them,” Ryan said, because apparently he was still stuck on that. “The people. Even if you don’t believe in them.”
I snorted. “Well, yeah. I’m not that big of an asshole. And I have faith in you. If you put yours in them, then I guess I can trust that.”
Ryan looked relieved. “And Lady Tina?”
“You know, your crush on her is really starting to concern me.”
“Sam.”
I scowled at him. “Don’t push your luck, Foxheart.”
He rolled his eyes. “Well, the people of Camp HaveHeart are throwing a feast in your honor tonight, so you’ll get to see firsthand just how much they believe in you.”
Yeah, no, that wasn’t a thing that was going to happen. “Oh no,” I said. “Would you look at that. I have something else to do tonight that involves not going to a feast and being stared at. Darn. Of all the rotten luck. Maybe next time. Though probably not then either.”
“Oh?” Ryan asked, arching an eyebrow at me and, combining that with his beard, making me really want to smack my dick against his mouth. It was unfair just how good he looked. I was going to go dashing and immaculate all over his ass later. “Really. And what exactly do you have to do tonight?”
Curses! I was going to have to lie. My greatest weakness! “Um. I have to go. To that. Meeting.”
“What meeting?”
I broke. “Damn you and your unbelievable interrogation techniques! I cannot withstand your barbarism and must now admit to all that I just don’t want to go to a feast because that sounds terrible. For shame, Knight Commander, for shame. How do you sleep at night?”
Barbarism, Ryan mouthed to Tiggy, who shrugged.
I could be merciful. “Fine. I guess I shall attend this feast in my honor where people will ooh and aah over me and essentially beg for my forgiveness, and maybe, just maybe, if they’re lucky, I’ll consider bestowing upon them my forgiveness, for I am a wizard now, and a wizard should show both mercy and magnanimousness, both of which I have in spades. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to retire for the afternoon, as today has been exhausting and I deserve rest. I say good day to all of you.”
“Yeah, you didn’t just spend a year in the woods with Kevin or anything,” Gary muttered.
I moved to leave.
“Sam—”
“I said good day!” I called over my shoulder.
And I was about to leave the barn when I remembered I had no idea where I was staying.
I sighed and had to acknowledge that my dramatic exit was ruined.
I turned, and the others were staring at me, looking entirely too amused for my liking.
“I don’t know where I live,” I mumbled.
“You’re with me,” Ryan said dryly. “Like you would be anywhere else.”
“Well, then, hop to it, Foxheart. I haven’t got all day. If I’m going to be greeting my adoring and repentant public, then I need to put on my face.”
Ryan sighed but walked toward me.
It was when we left the barn that he took my hand in his and leaned over to whisper, “I missed you, I’m still furious with you, I love you, and I’m so happy you’re home,” that I knew I would fight like hell to make sure everything turned out okay.
Even if that meant working with Lady Tina DeSilva.
WHEN I’D arrived at Camp HaveHeart I’d been unsure what kind of reception I was going to receive.
But now?
Nothing says we’re sorry for being racist assholes and trying to get you killed and a whole bunch of other bad stuff like a party thrown in your honor so people could grovel and eat large slabs of pork.
Camp HaveHeart was lit with brightly colored lights hanging on strings about the center of the camp. Fires were roaring, cooking meats that sizzled and crackled as the fat split. There were tables of fruits and vegetables, bread in bowls illuminated by candlelight. Casks of wine were rolled out, mugs filled and sloshing as people sank themselves in drink. A stage had been set up next to the tables, lined with knights standing at attention, and a quintet of musicians sat upon it, a jaunty tune flowing brightly into the cool night air. Men and women danced, children laughed and clapped, and everything seemed merry and light. I wondered if this was for them as much as it was for me.