“I am so conflicted,” Kevin said to me. “On one hand, I feel like I should intervene. On the other hand, I’ve never been more aroused.”
“Is that all you’re going to bring?” Terry asked, sounding bored. “How quaint.”
“Oh, it’s already been brought. In fact, I’ve brought so much, we’re gonna have leftovers.”
“Ooohhh,” Tiggy and I said.
“I’m coming for you,” Gary said, prancing in place. “I’m coming.”
“Me too,” Kevin whispered.
“Gross,” I muttered.
There was a moment when I felt sorry for Terry, even though he obviously wanted to climb on Ryan’s junk. When Gary got a good Unicorn Rage going, the person on the receiving end would most likely be crushed either physically or emotionally. I couldn’t honestly say which was worse.
And while I did feel sorry for Terry, I thought it was probably a good time that he be put in his place. He obviously didn’t understand the pecking order around here, and dominance needed to be established. After Gary crushed him, I would pull Ryan in and mack on his face while Terry watched, just so he knew where he stood. It was harsh but necessary.
So imagine my surprise when Gary screeched his battle cry and charged his brother, only to have Terry’s horn flash brilliantly. The air in the room instantly turned frigid, and a loud crack echoed as a wave of pure magic bowled over me. I had to take a step back at the sheer force of it. But unlike dragon magic or Dark magic, this felt pure and bright, like it was coming from the sun.
The room fell silent as the magic faded.
Then:
“Did you just turn him to ice?” Ryan asked, sounding impressed.
“I can do stuff like that too,” I said with a scowl.
Kevin started growling low and deep in his throat, and Tiggy took a step forward, hands curling into large fists. “Tiggy smash?” he asked in a dangerous voice, staring directly at Terry, who barely flinched.
“How brutish,” he said. “No, you may not smash. I was defending myself. You all saw it. He was coming after me. The gods only know why he’s so quick to anger. I should think there would be some underlying issues that have nothing to do with me that need resolution. I’m sure there are therapists who specialize in his specific form of psychopathy.” He glanced at me. “Or maybe it has to do with those he surrounds himself with.”
Gary was screaming angrily, but it was muffled under the ice.
And that… well.
That didn’t sit right with me.
There was green and gold, and I pushed and the ice cracked right down the middle and then melted instantly.
“And I will destroy everything you live for, mark my words!” Gary was snarling. “You will regret the day you—huh. I appear to be no longer frozen. But you didn’t—why are you staring at Sam like that?”
And Terry was, with an expression of annoyance mixed with begrudging respect. It was an odd look but one I was used to. “How did you do that?” he demanded. “I am a unicorn. My magic is pure. You shouldn’t have been able to disrupt it. You’re human.”
“I told you,” I said. “I’m a wizard now.”
“Ungh,” Ryan said, and we all turned slowly to look at him.
Terry took a step toward him. “Are you okay, Ryan? You look flushed. Are you ill?”
“Gods,” Justin said. “I’ve gone a year without having to see that expression. And now I’m seeing it all the time.”
“Ryan has magic kink,” Tiggy said wisely. “Makes him all stupid and sticky.”
Terry’s eyes widened as he stuck his chest out. “Does he? Well, well, well, as luck would have it, I have magic—”
“It’s only for Sam’s magic,” Justin said. “No one else.”
“Ryan,” I whispered. “You’re drooling a little.”
“Whuzzat?” He looked a little dazed as he tried to wipe his chin. He missed and poked himself in the nose.
“He loves me,” I announced to the room, but mostly to Terry and Lady Tina. “In case anyone here had any doubts about that. Also, Terry? You touch Gary again, and you won’t like what’s going to happen.”
“Really?” he scoffed. “I highly doubt that—”
“Go ahead,” I said, nodding at Gary. “Do it again. Test me.”
Gary frowned. “Well, don’t test on me. That’s just—”
Terry looked affronted. “You’re just a human—”
“Test. Me.”
He balked.
“Ooohhhh,” Tiggy said.
“Ungh,” Ryan and Kevin both said.
“I’ve never heard of a human being able to disrupt a unicorn’s magic,” Terry said, sounding aggrieved. “It’s unnatural. Unicorns are pure and uncorrupted, incapable of sin.”
“Riiight,” I said. “Because obviously you’ve never met your brother at all.”
“I do gross things,” Gary announced.
“Perhaps we should focus on why this meeting was called,” Lady Tina snapped. “Or we could continue wasting the Prince’s time.”
“I like her,” Vadoma said, appraising Lady Tina. “Well-spoken. Make a good wife for my grandson. You want to be cornerstone? Yes. Having a vision. Ooooooh, I see you and Sam falling in love and—”
“Burn her at the stake,” I hissed.
“As I was saying before this travesty occurred,” Justin said, glaring at me like it was all my fault, “as is evident by our guests, the mission was partially successful. We were able to locate Gary’s brother. Unfortunately, we could not find his parents.”
“Swingers tour apparently took them out of the country,” Ryan whispered in my ear.
“Gods,” I whispered back. “How fucking long have they been doing that?”
Justin ignored us, turning and bowing to Terry. “As the Grand Prince of Verania, I extend to you my gratitude at your assistance in this most important of matters. And as I’m sure you can see, circumstances have certainly… changed… from what I told you they were.” He glanced in my direction.
I stared back at him, waiting for him to continue.
He didn’t.
I looked behind me. There was no one there. “Oh, do you mean me? I’m the circumstance that—okay. Because you didn’t expect me to be here. Got it. See? Even after all this time, we’re still on the same wavelength. Best friends 5eva. Do you remember the secret handshake I taught you? We should do it right now to reaffirm our—okay, not the time. You can put your sword away.”
He did but kept his hand on the hilt. “And while circumstances have changed, the end result has not. We have brought you here because we need your assistance. In the end, if we are to emerge victorious over the Darks, we’ll need everyone we can. But before we begin to discuss the next phase, I’d like to invite Sam to speak on his plan to defeat Myrin with the dragons of Verania. It’s possible what I have in mind might not even be necessary, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Sam, if you please.”
“Oh boy,” I said. “Yeah. Um. About that.”
“Uh-oh,” Tiggy said.
“I can’t wait to hear this,” Gary whispered to him. “It’s probably going to be hysterical. Oh, how I’ve missed his shenanigans.”
I scratched the back of my head. “So, funny story. I might have… spent all my time in the Dark Woods learning how to wizard and not exactly coming up with a plan to defeat Myrin?”
Justin’s face turned red. “You what.”
“Oh, no,” I said quickly. “No, no, no. There is a strong outline of a plan that I really am quite proud of. It’s just, you know, filling it all in from beginning to end.”
“Why don’t you enlighten us as to the outline,” Justin said through gritted teeth.
“Outline might be a bit of an overexaggeration,” Kevin said. “Not that I would know about overexaggerating anything.”
“Okay,” I said. “Look. So. Here’s the plan. Step one: return like a badass. Done and done. Step two: let everyone fawn over me at my return and get funky with my babe. Done and done.”