A Missing Heart

“Am I awful for not being at the hospital with her tonight?” I ask her.

“I don’t know,” she says, offering a sympathetic grimace. “If she had gotten hurt accidentally, I might question your integrity, but she’s obviously dealing with something she can’t seem to explain. Maybe Tori doesn’t even know what it is that’s bothering her. It’s good she’s getting help.”

“I just feel guilty. She told me from the beginning she didn’t want kids. When Gavin came along and I talked her into becoming a family, I had no idea it would end up like this, but as she says, she did try to warn me.”

“AJ, if there’s one thing I know about you, one thing that I’m almost positive never could have changed, it’s your determination to always do the right thing. So if you’re not at the hospital tonight, I have to believe there’s a very good reason for that—whether it’s anger or exhaustion. I wouldn’t question you or your decisions. I think if she told you that she wanted you with her, you’d be there.”

While her words lessen my guilt, the person I am would usually have seen this through until there was nothing else to be done. I know Tori doesn’t want to be with me, and I’ve kept us together with all of my strength but maybe it’s time to start letting go.

Refocusing on the good, I look back at Cammy. “Are you really staying here? In our town?” I ask her, needing to know I’m not going to come looking for her and find out that she’s run back to D.C. again. I don’t know if I could handle that.

“I miss home, and I miss my best friend, so I’m not going anywhere, AJ…no matter how things in your life get figured out,” she answers, with a small smile.

I pull her into me, embracing her tightly, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair and skin. How the hell am I supposed to figure things out when I already feel like they’ve been figured out for me? I know what—who—I want.

Settling myself into the corner of the couch, I pull Cammy to my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulders so it’s easy for her to rest her head on my chest. The comfort of this moment is as far as I can take things before I make any further decisions, and I’ll take it. I’ve waited so long to just be near her again. After only a few minutes, the sounds of her elongated breaths soothe me into closing my eyes and falling asleep too.



“Um…guys,” Ever says, yanking me from the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. When I open my eyes, I find Cammy still asleep in the crook of my arm. Her hand is resting on my chest and her head is on my shoulder. “I don’t want to know.”

“Ever,” I say in a scolding tone.

“At least you both have your clothes on,” she mutters.

“Knock it off, will you?” I argue.

She grins, like she just figured out how to annoy the crap out of me. “Okay,” she says through an exaggerated sigh.

“You know, it’s a Monday. We should probably enroll you in a school or something.”

“Cameron said she was going to handle that today, after we either get our clothes and belongings back or buy new ones.” I would kind of rather Cameron buy Ever some new clothes.

“That sounds like a great plan,” I say, as Cammy presses her hand into my chest and lifts her face from my shoulder.

“Crap,” she croaks before dropping her head back into my shoulder. That couldn’t have felt good.

Ever looks around the room and spots the empty bottles scattered along the coffee table. “Have fun last night?”

Cammy covers her face with her hand and groans. “You don’t see anything,” she slurs through her fingers. “We already suck at this parenting thing. This is why people raise children from babies. So they know better, not to leave evidence behind.”

I should have known better. I have raised a baby—I’m raising a baby who’s with my brother while I’m asleep on a hotel couch. God. I need to put my life back into some kind of order today.

I lift Cammy up a little, placing a pillow beneath her head to replace my shoulder. “Can I get you anything before I take off? I should get down to the hospital to check on Tori. Then I have to grab Gavin.”

“I think I saw a pain reliever in the snack bar, and—” she twists her head to look up at me. “Can I meet Gavin later?”

“Of course,” I tell her. “Here, put your number in my phone.” I hand her my phone and shovel through the mess we made in the snack bar last night. “Got it.”

I grab a bottle of water too, and place them both down on the table as she hands me my phone back.

I call her number from my phone, hearing it ring a couple of times before I end the call. “There, now you have my number also. If you need a lift anywhere today, give me a call. Otherwise, I’ll give you a ring a little later.”

She slaps her arm over her eyes and forces a tight-lipped smile. Looks like the nasty drinks we had last night didn’t agree with her. She’s probably going to get sick. “Thanks, AJ.”

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