I knew everyone else was listening as intently as I was for the answer. This, out of everything, was probably something that I needed to be focusing on the least, but I was interested in knowing Vadoma’s angle on all this. What her endgame was.
For a moment, I thought Ruv wasn’t going to answer. Then, “You would have come to Mashallaha. Lived amongst your people. Learned your heritage. The ways of the gypsy. Vadoma would have been your teacher. She would have shown you the path home.”
She was ballsy, I had to give her that. “Mashallaha is not my home,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “The gypsies are not my people. They looked down upon me as if I was lesser than them. They consider my blood diluted because of who my father is. And even if I could change their mind, why would I ever put myself in a position where I’d have to start something like that to begin with?”
“Really?” Ruv asked. “And I suppose the people of Lockes have shown you the same kindness? Just how many people in that crowd were… how did you put it? Looking down upon you. In Mashallaha, people are not trusting of outsiders, especially those with your power. But it’s because they do not know you. And they are mired in tradition.”
That… stung. More than I thought it would. Because he did have a point. I’d given my all to the people of Lockes. Or at least I thought I had. Sure, I’d made mistakes. I wasn’t infallible. But there’d always been an undercurrent there, a low hum ever since I’d been pulled from the slums and placed at Morgan’s side. There’d been an initial outcry, but it’d died down quickly thanks to Morgan and the King. But had it ever truly gone away? I knew I could charm my way out of most situations, but what good did that really do me in the long run?
I couldn’t place all the blame on Lady Tina for the movement against me, even if I wanted to. She merely latched on to something that had apparently already been there. She’d just given voice to it.
She was still a bitch, though.
“I can’t make everyone happy,” I said slowly. “Even if I wish I could. It’s not possible. No matter what you do, there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like it. And I can’t spend all my time trying to change their minds, even if I wanted to.”
“And yet you still fight for them,” Ruv said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. You may have put up a good front, but you’re still here.”
“Of course I’d still be here,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be? People deserve to live how they choose, free and not governed by another’s will. Because that’s exactly what will happen if… the Darks get their way.” I couldn’t say his name. It was stuck on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t force myself to say it. Not after what Morgan had told me about him before we’d left Castle Lockes. Not after… everything.
“You are a good person, Sam of Wilds,” Ruv said. “Na?ve, I think, but good. I believe you will do what Vadoma thinks you will do.”
“Um, thanks?”
“Of course he will,” Ryan said, sounding grumpy. “Sam is the best person I know.”
“And he does what he says he’s going to do,” Gary said.
“And he makes me happy,” Tiggy said. “And I love him.”
“And he takes care of us,” Kevin said.
I was a little choked up at that.
“Plus,” Kevin added, “he’s got a really great ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. There, under the stars. So far from home, I laughed. And out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zero in the shadows of the dome, listening to every word.
Chapter 19: The Magic of Zero Ravyn Moonfire
EVERYONE WAS asleep except for me, Ryan’s hand lying loosely on my waist, Tiggy sitting up against Kevin with Gary in his lap. Ruv was lying a little ways off from everyone, but that was okay. The embers in the fire still burned, a tendril of smoke rising up toward the night sky. The air was cool but not uncomfortable. I felt small here in the middle of nowhere. Overwhelmed by everything that had happened and everything that would come.
I looked over at Ryan, whose mouth was slack, soft little snores on each exhalation. His brow was furrowed, like he was concentrating on something difficult. I reached over and brushed a finger from his forehead down between his eyes to the tip of his nose, the lightest of touches. He relaxed under the touch, and I hoped that whatever dream he was in didn’t hurt. I couldn’t stand the idea of him being hurt.
I sighed and was about to close my eyes to try and force away the whirlwind of thoughts in my head when I saw a pulse of light coming from inside the dome. It was soft and low and it pulled on my magic, but not in the way I’d felt when we’d first come to the island. This was a caress, a question instead of a demand.
I carefully shifted away from Ryan, putting my small straw pillow in his arms so he had something to hold on to. He frowned in his sleep until I leaned down and kissed his forehead. At the press of my lips, he made this little hum deep in his throat that squeezed at my heart. Maybe I had lied a little to Ruv when I said I’d still be here for everyone even if they’d turned against me. Maybe I would. But I was mostly here for him. Because I refused to believe the future was written in stone.
The light pulsed again.
And the whispers in my head began again.
I rose and left my friends behind, moving toward the dome.
The closer I got, the more it pulled, but it remained gentle, even as the magic in the air thickened. I wondered if my eyes were red again, wondered how Zero was able to do what he did. Because I thought maybe the forest inside the dome was his doing, that he grew the trees and the grass and the flowers the moment he started to wake. That he made something beautiful out of a place of ruins.
He had to know I was coming. I knew he felt me as much as I felt him.
If I’d had any doubts remaining about this whole destiny thing, that was the moment I finally began to believe.
I hesitated, briefly, at the entrance to the dome.
But there was no reason I could think of to not continue on.
So I did.
There was the moment, that little pinprick in time, when I passed from the desert into the dome. Where the air changed, became damp and cool, the smells of a wild forest all around me. I didn’t know how Zero did this, how it was possible for something so frightening to make something so beautiful, but I didn’t know that it was my place to ask. I needed Zero. I knew that now. He fit somehow. Even if he was already a pain in my ass. The rest of them were as well, but I loved them fiercely. Surely I had room in my heart for another.