“That’s what I thought.”
This is the last conversation I want to have. I want to run away, but too many people have stopped to listen, so I have to defuse this before it turns into something worse. I take a deep breath and force myself to say something. “Even if I made him go, it wasn’t me who was driving the truck. It wasn’t me who swerved into his car. How can you seriously blame me for that? I’m about as responsible for his death as whoever planned the bonfire, which was you.”
Taylor presses another finger into my chest, even harder this time. “So you’re trying to blame this on me now?”
I clench my fists. “I’m not blaming anyone. It’s you who’s blaming me.”
“If this isn’t your fault, why didn’t you show up to his funeral?” Taylor asks me. “Was it because you felt guilty or you just didn’t give a shit?”
It’s like the wind gets knocked out of me. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. But suddenly I don’t need to. Because Mika appears from nowhere, stepping in front of me.
“This is none of your business,” Mika says to Taylor. “She doesn’t have to explain anything to you.”
“Why don’t you—” Taylor starts.
But Mika doesn’t let her finish that sentence.
I hear the slap across Taylor’s face before the scene processes. The hallway echoes with a collective gasp and then falls silent again. I cover my mouth, unsure of what’s about to play out. Only a few people know about Mika’s self-defense classes, or the story about her fight at the bar in Spokane. When Taylor tries to strike back, I know she isn’t one of them. Mika swiftly smacks away her arm and throws Taylor against the locker! A crowd swarms around them, some pulling out their phones. Suddenly Liam breaks through the crowd. He grabs Mika by the back of the shirt like he’s about to fling her across the room.
“Hey—” Liam shouts.
But Mika elbows him right in the gut, and he falls to the floor, wheezing.
The crowd erupts. The noise attracts more people into the hall, including a few teachers who arrive to break up the fight. One of them, Mr. Lang from biology, brings two fingers to his lips and blows them like a whistle. Everyone glances around before the crowd quickly disperses.
Someone touches my arm.
“Julie—we should go.”
Yuki appears at my side, beckoning me to follow the crowd outside.
“What about Mika?” I say, searching through the crowd for her. There she is with Mr. Lang. He has one hand on her shoulder, and the other clenching Liam’s arm.
“I’m not sure if there’s anything we can do,” Yuki says. And as much as I want to do something, I know she’s right.
* * *
* * *
I’ve been waiting outside school for more than an hour. Yuki stayed with me for a while, but they were taking so long in there, I told her she should go home without me. I think Mr. Lang took everyone into his office. What’s going on in there? I hope Mika isn’t in too much trouble.
A half hour later, Mika finally comes out the front doors. She holds an ice pack over her left eye.
“Mika—are you okay?” I reach out to inspect it, but Mika turns the other way.
“It’s nothing,” she says.
“What happened in there?”
“I’m suspended.”
“That’s terrible. This is all my fault. Let me go in and tell Mr. Lang—”
“Just forget it. I have to go—” she says abruptly, then hurries off, leaving me standing there.
“Mika! Wait!” I call after her a few times, but she doesn’t look back.
I almost run after her. But something inside me says she wants to be left alone. At least, for now. So I just stand there, watching her disappear down the block. I wish she would let me help her, after everything she’s done for me. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know how to get through to her. I stare down at the pavement, wondering how I’m going to fix this …
* * *
When I get home, I call Sam right away and tell him everything. I tell him about Oliver, his jacket, and the things Taylor said. Then I tell him about Mika and the fight that broke out between them.
“She won’t talk to me,” I say. “I’m don’t know what to do.”
“Have you tried texting her?” Sam asks.
I check my phone again. “I asked her if she made it home earlier. But she never responded. I feel terrible.”
“Taylor should feel terrible,” Sam says, a strain in his voice. “I can’t believe she said those things to you. I’m sorry, Julie. I wish I was there. I wish I could do something about all this.”
“I wish you were here, too.”
He lets out a long breath. “It feels like this is all my fault.”
“Sam—you can’t blame yourself for any of this.”
“But it’s hard not to,” he says, sounding frustrated. “Mika wouldn’t be feeling this way, and getting into fights, and no one would be saying those things about you if I hadn’t … If only…” His voice trails off.
“Stop it,” I say. “That isn’t your fault, Sam. None of this is. And I don’t care what people say about me, okay?”