“We’re the dream team, Emilia. You know what, forget it. I’ll stay at Stanford.”
I lick the chocolate and marshmallow that’s spilled out of my s’more from my fingers and Russ buries his head into my neck, whispering “stop it.” I ignore him, wiggling a little to pretend to get comfortable, only to feel his fingers dig into my side making me squirm and giggle. Xander frowns as his eyes flick between us both. “Are you two even listening? Disgusting. God bless the no fraternization rule. I’d have thrown myself into a septic tank if I had to watch this every night.”
“I’m listening,” Russ says, clearing his throat and wrapping his arms around me. “Doesn’t your dad work at UCMH? Didn’t you tell me that when we first met? You don’t wanna play basketball with your brother, right?”
“Oh, so you do listen to me then. Firstly, he’s my step-dad—let’s not disrespect Big Phil by making him share dad status with that jackass. Col has an obnoxious fucking job title; I can’t remember what they call him.” Xander clicks in the air a few times as he tries to remember. “He’s head of athletics, but they don’t call him that.”
Russ sits up so quickly he almost flings me into the fire. “Your step-dad is Skinner? Are you fucking kidding me? We have shared a room for ten weeks and you are just now telling me that your dad—”
“Step-dad.”
“—controls my entire college career?”
“Skinner?” I repeat. “Why does that sound fami— oh my fucking God.” I’m dead. Nobody revive me. It’s over. I almost fall off Russ’s knee. “Is your brother Mason Wright?”
“Step-brother.” He swigs his beer without a care in the world. “You two are very animated suddenly. I share one snippet of information and suddenly you’re interested in something other than pawing at each other. Interesting.”
“You’re related to my arch-nemesis!” I can’t process this. “I feel violated.”
“By marriage,” Xander clarifies. Russ tucks me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. Xander shrugs at us both. “I don’t share DNA with them so I can’t be held responsible for their wrongs.”
Emilia can’t stop laughing beside us since she knows how much I hate Mason. “I can’t believe this has been the big reveal of the night and not you two being revoltingly happy together.”
“What a plot twist,” I mutter, leaning back onto Russ who tucks my head under his chin. I’ve never done this cuddling thing before; I’ve never stuck around long enough for it, but one thing I’ve learned this summer is I’m a big fan.
The rest of the night goes by without any more bombs being dropped and the heat of the fire is sending me to sleep. I don’t want this night to end for so many reasons, but mainly because it’s been the best summer of my life. Even though I know I’m going to be miserable as soon as I touch down in Palm Springs, I don’t care anymore. I’m going to countdown the days until I’m back at college and keep myself out of trouble and off my dad’s radar.
I know why he doesn’t have a relationship with me now and there’s nothing I can do or stop doing to change that. I don’t have the urge to battle for his attention anymore, or to act out, so I at least get reprimanded, which obviously never happened.
His opinions don’t matter to me anymore and it’s freeing.
My jaw cracks loudly because I yawn so wide and Russ hears it. “Come on Sleeping Beauty, let me take you to bed.”
“I think she’s more like Sleepy from Snow White than Princess Aurora,” Xander muses, Emilia nodding her head beside him. I look at him, confused. “You think I’ve been looking after eight-year-olds for two months and don’t know my princesses? Get outta here.”
“Goodnight, see you in the morning,” I say through another yawn.
Russ and I walk hand in hand along the path toward my cabin and I still haven’t lost that feeling that it’s against the rules. I’m too tired for small talk, so I listen to him talk about how excited he is to go to San Jose to visit JJ tomorrow. I learned Russ has been getting pep talks from JJ and I don’t think I’ve ever been more infatuated with him.
We finally reach my cabin and he audibly gasps when we walk through the door. “It’s so tidy. Is it bad I’m more attracted to you now?”
I throw myself down onto the bed kicking off my sneakers and lying down. “Yes.”
He sits me back up and pulls my t-shirt over my head. “You told me earlier to make you shower before bed because you won’t have time to wash your hair in the morning. I don’t even really know what that means but I know you should have a shower.”
Another huge yawn. “Ignore me. Earlier me didn’t know how tired we are. She was optimistic and foolish.”
“Come on, Roberts. Into the shower.”
I fold my arms across my chest defiantly, pouting for as long as it takes me to yawn again. “Make me.” My yawn turns into a hiccup of surprise as he throws me over his shoulder and marches us toward the bathroom. “You’re cruel.”
He slaps my ass and that wakes me up a little. “Shush.”
Russ is methodical as he strips us of both of our clothes and five minutes ago I would have said I’m too tired for sex, but the ass slap and the bossiness might have changed my mind. The shower starts to fill the bathroom with steam and he checks the temperature before ushering us both in.
He stands behind me; I’m not ashamed to say I’m waiting to be bent over. He doesn’t though, he just reaches for my shampoo and squirts some onto his hand, lathering it up between his palms.
I don’t need to be bent over. I can definitely come from him washing my hair for me.
“You are perfect,” I groan as his fingers massage my scalp. “Why haven’t you been washing my hair for me this entire time?”
He chuckles as he begins rinsing out the suds. “I promise I’ll do it any time you need when we’re home.”
Home. We still haven’t talked about what that looks like for us. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to bring it up in a cool and casual way. A way that doesn’t apply any pressure, in case the sweet things he’s said to me have been in the moment. “Tell me a secret, Russ.”
“It’s a physical and emotional struggle to not stare at your ass all day.” I spin to look at him, his wet chest pressed against mine as he continues to wash my hair gently.
“A real secret.”
He pauses and thinks about it, his hand reaches to rub the back of his neck. I’m glad he’s nervous because so am I. “I think you know most of my secrets.”
“Can I ask you a question?” He nods and I clear my throat as my brain scrambles for the easy intro I’ve been looking for. “What happens when we go back to school? What are we?”
He cups my face and when I look up at him, he looks as nervous as I feel. “We’re whatever you want to be, Aurora. I’m a little worried I’m going to scare you away, but I think I’ve been pretty clear I don’t want to let you go.”
What I want is the next big question. As soon as I’m with him I forget everything I’ve ever said about other people’s baggage, relationship, men. But the thoughts still linger when I’m alone; I can’t help it. Emilia is right when she says the bar is so low for me that I’m impressed by mediocrity and I get attached easily to someone who gives me hit after hit of the things I crave like attention and validation.
Nothing about Russ is mediocre.
“I want to be together,” I say quietly, suddenly feeling ten times more exposed than I did when he stripped me of my clothes. “I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I want to see where this can go. I want to be your girlfriend.”
He bends to kiss me and, even under the hot spray of the shower, goosebumps spread over my entire body. “Good,” he murmurs against my lips. “Because I want to be your boyfriend.”
By the time we’re dried and climbing into bed, I’m exhausted. “Why don’t you sleep in here tonight?”