Emilia looks like she’s going to burst into tears, so I usher the girls to their feet, taking them back outside to give Emilia and Poppy some privacy.
They sit beside me on the bench while we watch the football game. Russ is cheering on Billy, a more introverted kid who hated team sports nine weeks ago, as he scores a touchdown. He high fives him, praising him as the ones who I presume are also on Billy’s team jump on him.
Somebody make my ovaries shut up.
“Will you and Russ go to London?” Freya asks, plaiting the ends of my hair.
“No, sweetie. Russ is going to visit his friend JJ at his new house and I’m going to a place called Palm Springs because my dad is getting married.”
“So when will you see each other again?” Sadia is next to start messing with my hair.
Little girls are like monkeys when it comes to hair.
“We go to the same college, so we’re going to see each other when we’re back at school.” It isn’t a lie. Russ and I haven’t fully talked about what happens when we’re both back at UCMH. We still haven’t talked about what we are, which is pathetic at this point considering we’ve spent sixteen hours a day together for ten weeks. We just know that we’re both going to be there and we’re both not ready to say goodbye to this. “Why don’t you go ask him to tell you a secret?”
The girls sprint towards Russ, grabbing him as he tries to ref the game. He crouches to their height and they lean in whispering the message. He looks right at me through the space between them, smiling, and even though I can’t see, I just know I’d be able to see his dimples if I was close enough.
God, I was never supposed to be this obsessed.
I watch him whisper back and they giggle before running back to me. Sadia reaches me first. “He said he’s excited to see you at college and to ask you for one.”
“Hmm.” I tap my lips and pretend to think. “My secret is I have a really big crush on Russ.”
I expect them both to squeal and laugh and get excited, the way they do over basically everything. Freya’s hands go to her hips. “That isn’t a secret. Everyone knows that.”
“Yeah,” Sadia echoes. “You love him. Tell us a real secret.”
I didn’t expect to get called out by children today. “Okay, okay. My secret is I want to do this all again next year.”
They run back and I watch them almost crash into him. He smiles, looking over at me briefly, before saying something back. The girls run back over to me, panting after all the back and forth. Freya sits down beside me. “He said where you go, I go. These aren’t secrets, you two should just talk to each other.”
She has a point. “Brown Bears,” Jenna yells, appearing with her clip board. “You’re up!”
How long would I be able to get away with refusing to let them go?
“Go grab your jackets and backpacks, girls,” Emilia says as she reappears from the main building. We watch them run toward the rest of the group; Emilia wraps an arm around me. “You okay?”
“What if I just keep them all?”
“I think their parents will have an issue with that,” she says softly. “Three of them asked me yesterday if you’ll be back next year. They really love you, Ror. They were scared to ask you in case you said no.”
“I love them all. Even Leon. Even though he’s an asshole.”
The counselors here were such a huge part of my childhood that hearing my kids like me and want me to come back has a huge impact. I needed to come back to heal part of me that was just a little bit too broken. I’m going back to LA feeling like a new person and I truly don’t think I could have achieved that anywhere else.
“Poppy told me what you did.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Poppy and I had a very serious conversation where I warned her if she told Emilia I paid for and arranged her Europe trip that I’d put spiders in her bed until we graduate. “Please tell Poppy she brought what comes next on herself.”
“You didn’t have to do that, Ror.” Gift giving is this awkward thing between Emilia and I that we dance around. Usually I go too far and she has to give me a lecture about me not needing to buy her love and how calling something a love language doesn’t give me a free pass to do what I want. “But thank you so much.”
“You’ve been very understanding this summer while I’ve been . . . preoccupied.”
“Sorry, do we need to recap all of my relationships you’ve held my hand through? The late night pickups? Not judging me when I got back together with Sawyer for like the third time?”
“We don’t have enough time to recap; you have to catch a flight to London tomorrow morning.”
She hits my arm playfully. “You deserve someone who looks at you like you’re the only thing on this entire planet. I would move a million days off if you got to be happy. You needed someone to prove to you that you’re worth it and, for what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s Russ. Even if he is a man.”
“Jesus Christ, Emilia. You know being sad makes me horny.”
“You are so fucking weird sometimes. Come on, my little lovebug. Time to say goodbye to Honey Acres for a year.”
Things are eerily quiet as we all sit around the fire next to the lake, full from eating the pizza Orla bought for us to say thank you for all our hard work. The chefs at camp are excellent, but there’s something about a veggie pizza from Dom’s Pizzeria in Meadow Springs that can’t be beaten.
After we waved off our campers, we got to work putting away the various equipment around the site for next summer. Emilia and I had to do double the work because Russ and Xander spent an hour having an emotional goodbye with Fish, Salmon and Trout. I think it got to the point where even the dogs were over it before the guys were.
After Orla’s closing meeting earlier, we’re officially not employees anymore and she finished by saying she didn’t want to find any beer bottles tomorrow morning. My eyebrow quirked and Jenna immediately rolled her eyes at me before mouthing “free pass.”
The beer run is done in record time and while I’d normally be the first person to grab a drink and initiate a drinking game, I’m perfectly happy curled up on Russ’s lap in our camping chair trying to eat the last of the gelatin-free marshmallows without covering us both in graham crackers.
“Are you boring now?” Emilia asks, sipping her beer from the chair beside us. I know she’s joking but it doesn’t stop me from giving her the finger.
“Forgive me for not wanting to be hungover when I face my dad tomorrow,” I grumble, rolling my eyes. “And what happened to don’t be peer pressured by your friends? Stop peer pressuring me to be irresponsible with you.”
Russ kisses my shoulder and continues to rub his hand up and down my shin. He doesn’t need to say anything, but I know he’s proud of me because it was fifty-fifty whether I was going to go off the rails today.
Nobody batted an eyelid when I crawled into Russ’s lap earlier and he kissed my forehead. I was a little offended by their lack of surprise, before Emilia pointed out I’m naturally as discreet as a blaring fire alarm. But then I saw Clay’s jaw drop, someone who has spent most days with us for weeks—and my ego got a boost.
Fire alarm, my ass.
He’s stayed away from us this evening, opting to get drunk with Maya and her hometown friends instead. Can’t say I’m mad about it because I love my little trio and it means I don’t have to turn down Cabo again.
“Should I transfer to Maple Hills for a laugh?” Xander says, swigging his beer bottle. “It doesn’t feel right for me to separate the dream team. How will you all get anything done?”
“Who’s the dream team?” Emilia teases.