“You better let me go if you don’t want me to have the door guy toss you out on your ass,” I threatened.
“How’s your boyfriend?” he continued. “Last time I saw him, he was crying like a baby asking for us to leave him alone.”
I remembered the beating Nick had received—the beating that had been my fault—and the nausea I’d felt that whole afternoon returned.
“Let me go—you’re hurting me,” I said, twisting my wrist in his iron grip.
“You listen to me real close,” he said, pulling me closer so I could see his repulsive mouth moving. “You tell Nicholas that—”
Just then, an arm wrapped around my waist, a dull thud knocked Ronnie away, and all at once, Nicholas was in front of me, blocking me with his body.
“What should she tell me?” he asked calmly.
Ronnie smiled and stood up, face-to-face with him.
My heart started pounding. Not again, please.
“Hey, we missed you, bruh,” he said with a dark smile that horrified me. “You don’t come around no more… It’s like you’ve gone soft.”
“Leave Noah alone,” Nick said, the muscles in his body all tense.
“Or what?” Ronnie stepped forward until their noses were touching.
I grabbed Nicholas’s hand.
“Nicholas, don’t do it,” I whispered. I knew he’d heard me. Ronnie, too. Nick pressed his fist into Ronnie’s chest and pushed him away.
“Stay out of my life, Ronnie. You don’t want problems with me. There are too many witnesses here for you to risk going back to jail.”
Ronnie clenched his teeth and forced a grin.
Just then, the manager walked over with the door guy.
“You two,” he said to Ronnie and Nick, “out of here, now.”
I was trembling all over.
I followed them outside. Nicholas went to his car and Ronnie to his—or, rather, to Nick’s Ferrari. He shot past Nick and vanished down the street. I walked over to Nick with a strange feeling in my chest.
“Are you okay?” he asked me, looking at my face with worry.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just…” Suddenly a strange feeling overtook me. I couldn’t see Nick clearly anymore, and everything went dark.
32
Nick
I grabbed her as she was about to hit the ground, cursed, dragged her around to the other side of the car, and laid her in the passenger seat.
She’d fainted. I shouted to the security guy to bring me a bottle of water. Slowly, Noah came to.
“Hey, Noah,” I said, bringing the bottle to her lips. “Here, take a drink.”
She opened her eyes and grabbed it, taking little sips.
“What happened?” she asked, looking all around. “Where’s Ronnie?”
I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she was all right.
“He left,” I said, leaning on the headrest. “Dammit, Noah, you scared the hell out of me.”
Pale as a ghost, she said, “I’m all right.”
“No, you’re not,” I said. “Lion told me you fell when you were bowling and hit your head, but you refused to go to the hospital.”
“I didn’t go to the hospital because I already know what they’re going to tell me. That I need to rest.”
I was starting to lose patience.
“You could have a blood clot.”
“That’s not it.”
By then, I’d stopped listening. I got in the car and took off toward the highway.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to the emergency room. You hit your head and passed out. Maybe you’re okay playing with your life like that, but I’m not.”
When we got there, Noah got out and walked into the emergency room on her own. She filled out the papers and waited for them to call her.
“I don’t want you going in with me. Wait here.”
“Come on, Noah.”
“I’m serious.”
I was angry at having to stay in the waiting room. I knew I’d screwed up with Noah, but it was killing me to think she was hurt and I couldn’t be there to make her feel better. Ronnie wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted, and I was afraid things were only going to get worse.
I thought about calling Steve, my dad’s security chief, and explaining the situation, but that would require me revealing too much. My father would learn what was going on and would want to call the police. If Ronnie heard the law was after him, he’d be three times as dangerous as he was now. Gang beefs had to be solved in the streets, but I couldn’t do that if it meant losing Noah in the process. It had taken everything I’d had not to split his face open then and there, but I knew if I did, Noah would never forgive me.
To get her back, I’d need to rethink my relationship with violence. Noah had finally opened up to me, and we’d gotten closer. I had told her about my sister. I’d come to understand what it meant to love someone. I knew it, I knew I loved her now, I needed her to breathe… How could I have been so stupid?
Noah was the last person I wanted to see cry, the last person I wanted to hurt. I didn’t know when things had changed so much or when I’d passed from hating her to feeling what I felt now, but all I knew was I didn’t want to lose her.
She emerged from the exam room and walked toward me. I stood up, anxious.
“It’s a minor concussion,” she said.
Dammit. I knew it.
“It’s not a big deal. They told me to come back if I feel light-headed or pass out, but as long as I get some rest, I’ll be okay. I got a note to stay home from work and some pain pills for the headache.”
I was so relieved, I reached out to touch her, but she jerked away before I could.
“Can you take me back to work? I want to get my car.”
I was pissed, but I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut. I took her to the bar and followed her home to be sure she’d made it okay. I realized she wasn’t going to let me close to her, especially not after this, so I went to Anna’s.
Anna had reached out to me several times since my trip, and I knew I had to be honest with her: I’d let my hatred for my mother get the better of me, and I’d treated all women the same even when there were some who were incredible—in my case, one in particular I had to make mine no matter what.
When I stopped in front of Anna’s house, she came out and walked over, looking unsettled.
She bent over to kiss me on the lips, but I pulled away automatically. My lips would only kiss one person from now on, and that person wasn’t Anna.
“What’s up, Nick?” she asked, wounded by my rejection. I didn’t want to hurt Anna; we’d known each other a long time. I wasn’t as big a jerk as I acted like.
“We can’t keep seeing each other, Anna,” I said. The color drained from her cheeks, and her face looked shattered.
After a pause, she replied, “It’s her, isn’t it?” Her eyes started watering. Was this what I wanted—to make all the women around me cry?
“I’m in love with her.” Confessing it aloud wasn’t as hard as I’d thought. It was freeing, gratifying, the truth.
She swiftly wiped away her tears and said, “You’re incapable of love, Nicholas.” She was angry now. “I’ve spent years waiting for you to fall in love with me, doing everything I can to try to get you to open up just a little bit and make space for me, and all you’ve done is blow me off, use me…and now you’re telling me you’re in love with that high schooler?”
This wasn’t going to be easy.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Anna,” I said, but she shook her head.
“You know what?” she replied furiously. “I hope you never get what you want. You don’t deserve to be loved, Nicholas. If Noah’s smart, she’ll stay away from you. You think you can live a life like yours, with a past like yours, and get a girl like that to fall in love with you?”
I balled up my fists. I wasn’t in the mood for this shit, but part of me knew Anna was absolutely right. Trying to control myself, I told Anna goodbye. I could see the fury in her eyes as I started my car back up and pulled off.
* * *