“Jenna, it’s a Monday. There’s school tomorrow,” I protested, knowing there was no point.
“So? The parties at the beginning of the year are always the best… Seriously, Noah, do you know how hard it’s going to be to make you popular?”
I shook my head, sitting up.
“You’re like a Martian sometimes,” she complained. “Come on, take a shower and I’ll choose your outfit.”
She pulled me out of bed. As I took my hot shower, I tried to ignore her as best I could.
“What are you doing in there?” she shouted from the other side of the door.
I came out wrapped in a towel with my hair dripping. Jenna could be a pain when she felt like it. As I dried my hair sitting at my dressing table, I opened a drawer to take out my makeup and saw those envelopes again. Those dumb letters were ruining everything for me; I couldn’t get them out of my head. I wanted to tell someone about them, but I worried that would only make things worse. I was mad at Nick, but I didn’t want him getting into another fight, especially over me, and I knew that was exactly what would happen if I told him about the letters. I slammed the drawer shut and told myself again it was just a sick joke. Ronnie wasn’t stupid enough to threaten me in a letter, and there were thousands of girls who hated me for the simple reason that I was Nick’s new stepsister.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I told myself I did need a distraction, that there was no point staying there and ruminating on a problem it was best to forget. I put on my makeup, and Jenna left to do the same at her place. I focused on what I saw in the mirror. I didn’t want to leave a second free for my worries. Once my makeup was on, I spent another half hour fooling with my hair and then tried on almost all the dresses Mom had bought me, most of them still on hangers with the price tags attached. I finally chose a swing skirt and a tight black top.
Just when I was about to call Jenna to ask what time she was picking me up, I heard screaming outside my door. Still barefoot, high heels in my hand, I looked out to see what was going on.
The shouts came from my mother and William’s room. I walked out into the hall to hear better. They were arguing.
“What did you want me to do?” my mother shouted. She never shouted unless she was furious. I asked myself what William must have done to put her in such a mood.
“You should have told me!” William roared, even angrier than she. “You’re my wife, for the love of God! After all this time…how could you hide a thing like that from me?”
There were many things my mother might have hidden, but only one that would drive a person crazy that way.
“I couldn’t!” she replied.
As I was listening in, someone squeezed my hips, and I jumped in the air and dropped my shoes. Turning around scared, I screamed:
“What are you doing?”
Nick looked at me with curiosity.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” he replied, not subtle as he looked at my clothing. I couldn’t help checking out his torso, either, in that white shirt that fit him so snugly… What a contrast it made with that jet-black hair!
“Do you know why they’re fighting?” I asked apprehensively.
He looked back and said a simple no, pressing his hands in the wall on either side of my face and imprisoning me against the wall. “So are you talking to me again?” he said, and I watched every movement of his lips.
I wanted to push him away, but I refused to touch him. If I put a single finger on his body, my resolve would shatter.
“How long are you planning on continuing like this?” he asked, frustrated.
“Until you understand I don’t want you around me.”
He grinned, but his eyes were still desperate.
“You’re dying to kiss me.”
I felt sick. I hated being this nervous, hated that what had started between us had ended up this way.
“I’m dying to kick you,” I said.
He smiled, and I crossed my arms with indignation.
“You going out?” he added.
“Yeah.”
“With Jenna?”
“No, with your dad,” I replied sarcastically. “Do I even know anyone else?”
His hand slid from the wall to the side of my face, and he looked at me differently, so intensely I could hardly stand it.
“Don’t make this harder than it is,” I told him. As much as the distance hurt me, I wanted him to keep away from me. I couldn’t forget what had happened as much as I wanted to, and I could no longer trust him.
His pain burned itself into my retinas. I didn’t know what I was doing, denying my feelings for him, but I was scared to get close, scared to open my heart again, especially to someone like him. It was better to be alone so no one could control me or tell me what to say, or make me suffer.
That night I was going to forget everything, the letter, my stalker, and Nicholas. That night I was going to get drunk and let alcohol wash away all my grief.
34
Nick
I was dead asleep when my phone buzzed, waking me up. I rubbed my face and got a move on when I saw it was Jenna.
“You better have a good reason for waking me up at three a.m.,” I grunted, closing my eyes and falling back into my mattress.
“Nick, I need you to come…Noah’s in bad shape,” she said. I got up, suddenly tense, and turned on the light.
“What is it? Is she hurt?” I said, crossing the room, already looking for something to wear.
“She’s been throwing up for like half an hour. She’s totally shit-faced.”
I cursed and grabbed my keys.
“Tell me the address.”
* * *
It took me fifteen minutes to get there. The place was packed, and I had to shove my way in. I looked in the living room and kitchen, and just as I was about to grab my phone and call Jenna back to ask where she was, I saw her walking downstairs.
“Where the hell is she?” I asked.
It wasn’t Jenna’s fault, but weren’t they supposed to take care of each other? Not only was Jenna fine, she was 100 percent sober.
“We took her to the upstairs bedroom,” she said, and I went up there, taking the steps two at a time. “I knew she was going too far, but she didn’t want to listen to me, Nick.” I ignored her as I passed through the doorway. Once inside, I kneeled down next to Noah. She was pale and sweaty, probably because she’d been vomiting so much.
“How long has she been like this?” I asked. No one responded, so I turned and yelled at Jenna. “How long?”
“She was throwing up for more than half an hour, and five minutes ago, she passed out…or maybe she’s just asleep… I don’t know, Nicholas, I’m sorry, I tried to get her to stop, but—”
“Drop it, Jenna,” I said, noticing Lion walking in from the corner of my eye.
The girl next to Jenna gave me a serious look.
“I’m a med student. Relax. Her pulse is stable. She just overdid it. She needs to sleep, Tomorrow she’ll have one hell of a hangover, but she’s fine.”
“How can you say she’s fine?” I almost shouted, holding Noah’s unconscious face in my hands, feeling like a nervous wreck.
“She just is. Take her home and keep an eye on her,” the girl said.
“I’m sorry, Nick. I never thought this could happen,” Jenna confessed.
“Honestly, I don’t care what you have to say right now,” I replied coldly, bending over and lifting Noah up. I was scared when she barely made a sound, but her breathing was normal. Her head leaned on my shoulder. I blamed myself once more for failing to protect her. It was my fault she was this way, but something didn’t add up. As I walked down the stairs, I kept asking myself what the hell had happened to make her get drunk like that.