I loved him in the way I thought mattered.
And I’d thought my world was ending after he started dating someone else, and I was coming home with no plan.
But in the end, it had never been Carl.
After being home, I realized that I didn’t miss him.
I missed the idea of him.
I didn’t like being single. I wanted a partner. A best friend. A lover. Someone to raise a family with and laugh and grow old with.
And now that Finn had shown me how good sex could be, the connection that I felt to him—I knew what I had with Carl didn’t compare in any way. I wasn’t myself with him. With Finn, I could just be me. I could ask for what I wanted and not feel ashamed to have dreams of my own.
But now I had a whole new set of problems because Finn was leaving soon. The man was going to have temptation every which way he looked. I believed him when he said he loved me. I’d never felt more loved by anyone in my life than by Finn Reynolds.
But he’d tire of the distance. He would be traveling the world for his career. He’d go back to being with different women and remembering how exciting it all was.
And I couldn’t ask him to give me something that wouldn’t make him happy.
I loved him enough to let him go figure it out.
If he came back to me, I’d be here waiting.
Because now that I’d had him, no one else would compare.
But I wasn’t going to say any of that to him. I’d move into my own place and focus on work and being okay with being alone.
“I agree with you,” I said, and his head snapped up to look at me. “I never looked at Carl the way I look at Finn.”
His gray eyes locked with mine, and his lips turned up in the corners. “It’s because you already knew you belonged to me.”
“Maybe,” I said, feeling this pull toward him that was impossible to avoid lately.
“Do you have that gift wrapped for me, Mr. Clark?”
“I sure do, Finny boy. Let me go grab it from the back for you.”
“What did you get?” I asked as he stepped closer and wrapped one arm around my lower back, tugging me against him.
“It’s a surprise.”
“For me?”
“Yep. And you don’t get it until Christmas morning.” He nipped at my bottom lip, and I tugged his head down to kiss me.
We used to do this just to put on a show for people when we first came up with the idea to fake date. But now, I wanted to kiss this boy everywhere I went.
“Well, somebody needs to call the fire department if you two keep going like that.”
We pulled back and laughed, and Finn reached for the small box wrapped in black paper with a white satin bow on it. He dropped it into the large shopping bag from The Tipsy Tea.
We said our goodbyes, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked toward Reynolds’.
“Is that where Carl got your engagement ring?” Finn asked.
“Yeah. He bought it from Mr. Clark.”
“Man, I hated that ring,” he said as we waved at a few locals passing by.
I laughed. “You really didn’t care for it. I remember you making that very clear from the minute I got it.”
“It wasn’t your style at all. It was plain.”
“Some call that classic,” I teased. But the ring had been very much Carl’s style. A perfect princess-cut diamond solitaire on a platinum band. It was beautiful. But Finn was right: It wasn’t really me at all.
“Classic, my ass. You’re too good for something that basic.” He tugged the door open, and country music seeped outside. Finn leaned down close to my ear. “You deserve a ring that shows how much the man you’re marrying loves you. How well he knows you. A ring that when you slide it onto your finger, you know it’s forever.”
I sucked in a breath. My legs were frozen in place. “And what kind of ring is that, Chewy?”
“I think you’ll know it when you see it.” His lips grazed my ear. “I guess some things you’re going to have to see to believe, Reese Murphy. But I’ve never been afraid of a challenge.”
He was saying all the right things.
And damn, did I want to believe him.
“Merry Christmas, beautiful,” his deep voice whispered from between my legs. The room was still dark, but there was some light coming from the bathroom, so Finn must have gotten up. I blinked a few times, and a loud laugh escaped my lips.
My legs were bent, and he was propped up to look at me, wearing a Santa hat on his head. “Ho ho ho. Don’t say no.”
“Oh my gosh. Chewy! Why are you wearing a Santa hat?”
He pushed up on his knees. The man was stark naked, wearing nothing but a red hat with white fur circling the edge with a matching white ball hanging off the tip. My gaze moved down to see his erection, ready as always.
I couldn’t get enough of this man.
What was going to happen next week? I’d just go back to my sexless life?
“It’s Christmas. I couldn’t wait to give you your gift, but then I saw you there, sleeping like a fucking angel, and I wanted to give myself a gift.” He leaned down and kissed me.
“A gift for you, huh?”
“Damn straight. Waking you up with you coming apart on my lips. There is no better gift you could give me.”
We’d had sex last night, and I’d fallen asleep naked in his arms, barely able to keep my eyes open. I couldn’t remember a time that I’d been this tired.
Yet I was ravenous for him.
Maybe that was why I was worn out. Maybe my blood work would just show that I’d had way too many orgasms over the last few weeks.
Exhaustion by orgasm. I was here for it.
“I’m going to miss you, Chewy.” I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. We’d been confessing all the things lately, and I knew that goodbye was coming soon.
“It’s not goodbye, baby. It’s just, I’ll see you in a few weeks. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”
I nodded, fighting back the lump in my throat. Why was I such a weepy mess lately?
“As much as I love the idea of your face between my legs… I need to feel you right now.”
“Oh, yeah? How about I take you out by the tree, then? We can turn on the fireplace, and I’ll let you feel every inch of me. And then we’ll open presents.”
He never could wait. Not when he was a kid, and not any time since.
“I like the sound of that.” I yawned, and he scooped me up, wrapping the blanket around me as he strode naked through the house, carrying me like some sort of present. He set me on the couch and walked over to the fireplace and turned it on, all while giving me a wonderful view of his toned ass. It was impossible not to laugh when he turned around, wearing that ridiculous hat and looking like a Greek god with his tan, glistening, chiseled body.
He dropped down to sit, pulled the hat off his head, and unwrapped me from the blanket before settling me on his lap.
“Merry Christmas, Miney,” he said as I shifted so that I was straddling him.
“It certainly is.” I waggled my brows before lifting up and positioning myself just above him.
He groaned as I slid down slowly, my gaze locked with his. Pops of citrine danced in his gray eyes in the firelight flickering from behind me.
I took my time at first, sliding up and then coming back down at the same speed. And then his hands found my hips, and his lips found my hard peak, and my body surrendered.
He took control, guiding me up and down his shaft as he set the pace. Our breaths filled the air around us. My head fell back as my entire body started to tremble.
“Finn,” I cried out.
He thrust into me a few more times as I exploded around him. A feral noise escaped his lips as he followed me right over the edge. We rode out every last bit of pleasure. My head fell against his chest as we both panted, waiting for our breaths to slow.
“I fucking love you, Reese Murphy,” he said as his arms came around me, holding me against him.
Our hearts were both racing.
Bodies covered in a layer of sweat.
The light from the fire danced on the walls around us.
I closed my eyes and wondered what it would feel like if Finn would be mine forever.
twenty-five
Finn