I pulled the passenger door open, and she climbed in. I leaned down and kissed her hard as I reached for the seat belt and pulled it across her body. I studied her face, noticing she looked a little pale, and considering how cold it was, her face should be flush.
“You still look a little pale. Are you okay?” There was always that sinking feeling in my stomach when I worried about Reese. The worst time of my life was the day that I found out she was sick. The fear of losing her—it had scared me shitless.
“I’m just a little tired, Chewy. I’ve been working a lot. I feel fine. I promise.”
“Should you see Dr. Roberts? Just to be safe?”
“Finn. Stop. I would go if I were worried about it. Being tired does not mean that I have cancer.” Her gaze hardened like I’d just completely offended her. “Now, get in the truck so we can go buy lots of presents and go to Reynolds’ for some good food.”
I nodded slowly before closing the door and hurrying around to start the truck and crank up the heat.
“So, tell me about your day,” I said, keeping my tone light as I waited for her to tell me about Carl.
“Well, your sister and Maddox came by early this morning, and we went over some design ideas for the casita.”
And you asked if you could rent their home.
“Yes. What else did you talk about?” Reese and I had never had secrets. But now that we were sleeping together, she was suddenly tight-lipped with me? That didn’t sit fucking well with me.
“I drew up some sketches, and they loved them. We looked at some different finishes, and—”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You asked to rent their house. Why are you leaving that out?” I said, not hiding my irritation as I found a parking spot on Cottonwood Cove Drive downtown.
She chuckled. “Ah, I figured Georgie might mention it. I was going to tell you. I just thought I’d wait until we have our little talk.”
“The day before I leave? Isn’t that what you requested? We wait until the last fucking minute to talk about it? But meanwhile, you go and rent another home? What’s your deal, Miney?”
Her jaw fell open as she searched my gaze. She unbuckled her seat belt and slid across the seat before climbing onto my lap. She placed a mitten-covered hand on each of my cheeks.
“I need to have a plan, Chewy. You’re leaving, and once you finish shooting the movie, you’ll be shooting Big Sky Ranch. You’re going to be gone for a few months, so I can’t just be living in your house.”
“Why the fuck not?” I asked.
“For a lot of reasons.”
“Name one.”
“We don’t know what this is, what’s happening between us. I’m an adult, and I need to have a home of my own. I can’t be sitting around, waiting to see what happens. I’m not going to do that to you, Finn. You’re my best friend. My favorite person. I love you so much, and I don’t want you worrying about me. If you—” She looked away, glancing out the window as a tear ran down her cheek.
“If I, what?”
“You’re leaving, Chewy. You’re going to have women chasing after you. You’re a freaking movie star now. You did me a favor. But we both know this isn’t going to last forever. This isn’t what you want.” Now the tears were streaming down her cheeks.
I guess we were doing this now.
I used my thumbs to clear away the liquid. “How do you know what I want?”
“Because I know you better than anyone. And I don’t think we want the same things.” Her voice broke, and I swear a piece of my heart cracked at the pain that I heard. “I want you to want the same things I want. God, I want that so bad. But I won’t ever ask you to be someone you’re not. And I can’t stand the thought of you not being happy. Or you being far away and feeling guilty because you want someone else, and you don’t know how to tell me. We can’t let that happen to us.”
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, stunned by how much she’d been holding in. Hell, I had been holding back, too.
“Miney,” I whispered before she pulled back to look at me.
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional.”
“Stop. I’m unsure where we stand, too. I don’t know where you are with Carl. I mean, I’m not the one who has someone waiting for this to fail so they can swoop in.”
Her pretty green eyes searched mine like she was stunned by my words. “You’ve got lots of people waiting to swoop in, Chewy. The whole world wants a piece of you. Your life is just getting started. And mine… mine is here.”
“Mine has always revolved around you. I just didn’t know what it meant back then. And now I know this for certain,” I said, as my thumb stroked her bottom lip. “I don’t want anyone else. When I’m away from you, I miss you like crazy.”
“I don’t think that’s enough.” She shrugged. “It’ll fade.”
“This isn’t a fucking fling. I’ve loved you my entire life, Reese Murphy. That will never fade.”
She pushed forward again, hugging me tight. “Let’s just enjoy this time together, okay? And then we’ll see what happens. You don’t need to make me any promises. But just know that I’m going to be fine. I’m going to move into my own place when you leave. And we’ll just take things one day at a time.”
She’d already given up on me.
But what she didn’t know was… I’d never give up on her.
Or on us.
twenty-four
Reese
Downtown was lit with white twinkle lights that crossed back and forth over the street. The light posts were covered in garland, and red and white poinsettias hung from above. Holiday music was piped through the speakers, and everyone was out shopping tonight. The snow had lightened up, and Finn and I had already found a few gifts for our siblings. We’d stopped in The Tipsy Tea and bought a few things for Gracie. As we strode down the street toward Reynolds’, Finn stopped in front of Cove Jewelry.
“Come on. Let’s go in and look,” he said.
“What? Why?”
“I want to look in here together. Humor me.”
I stepped inside when he held the door open for me. “Hey, Mr. Clark.”
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite troublemakers.” The older man came around the corner and hugged each of us. He had to be in his early eighties now, and I swear the man used to be taller, but his smile was as big as ever.
“Who are you calling troublemakers?” I teased.
“Oh, I don’t know. The girl who mailed water balloons when she was eight years old. And the boy who ran naked through downtown in high school.” He laughed so hard that a few tears ran down his kind face.
“It was one water balloon. Finny here bet me that I wouldn’t do it. I waited until after Mr. Milford had picked up the mail that day. I don’t know why Alicia Rogers felt the need to turn me in.” I couldn’t hide the smile on my face, even if I’d been completely beside myself back then, convinced I’d have a police record and never go to college. Damn, we’d had so much fun growing up in this town.
“Well, Alicia Rogers’s favorite hobby is judging others.” Mr. Clark barked out a laugh.
“She’d been so proud, thinking I didn’t know the mail had already been taken out of the box. But when Alicia called the police… Holy shit balls.” Finn was laughing so hard, a wide grin spread across his face. “You made me promise to visit you every day in the slammer.”
“Well, I had a wild imagination back then. Luckily, they just made me pick up trash at the park for the next few weekends. It was a fair trade. And then this one…” I flicked my thumb at the charming bastard beside me. “He gets nothing but a slap on the hand for running naked through downtown.”
“I wore body paint, and I had a sling over my—johnson.” He smirked.
“I always knew you two would end up together,” Mr. Clark said.
“Yeah? How’d you know?” Finn asked as he walked around, looking at the jewelry in the glass cases.
“It was the way you looked at one another, even way back in the day. Like, as long as you were together, nothing else really mattered. Never saw you look at Dr. Barley that way, Reese.”
Awkward.
But also very true.
It had taken me a while to realize I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I think I’d settled on a future with Carl because it seemed… easy.
Possible, even.