Lia: Appealing, but I’m afraid of the chafing. I’m going to have to pass.
Breaker: At least give it a trial run.
Lia: Sorry, but you sound too demanding. I don’t think I can commit myself to such an arduous workplace environment. Pass.
Breaker: Dammit. At least come meet me for lunch.
Lia: Can’t. I’m heading to the office supply store because I ran out of toner, and I have to print some documents to work on.
Breaker: So you’re saying I have to wait until tonight?
Lia: You will survive.
Breaker: Barely.
Lia: Hang in there, Pickle.
Breaker: That just made me smile.
Lia: You make me smile. I’ll talk to you later.
Breaker: Okay. Bye.
“Excuse me, would you be able to direct me to your toner?” I ask the worker.
“Yes, aisle twelve,” he answers. “On the right.”
“Thank you.” With a pack of felt-tip pens in hand, because I have a sick obsession, I walk down to aisle twelve and spot the toner. I take out my phone to see the note I wrote myself to know which toner to get when I see a text from Breaker.
Breaker: JP just came into my office and started crying because he doesn’t think he’s going to be a good dad, and he’s freaking the fuck out. What is happening to my brothers?
I smile and text him back quickly.
Lia: Who knew babies were going to be the thing that took them down?
Once I press send, I go to my notes just as there is a tap on my shoulder. I turn and come face to face with Brian.
“Oh my God,” I say, taking a step back. “Brian . . . uh . . . hi.”
Wearing a suit and looking as handsome as ever, he smiles sadly while he sticks his hands in his pockets. “Hey, Lia,” he says softly.
“Wow, uh . . .” I glance around, hoping that The Beave isn’t here either. “What are you doing here?”
“My assistant quit on me, for good reason. I’ve been a tyrant lately, so I came here to pick up some supplies I needed.”
“Oh.” Awkwardly I ask, “Doesn’t your office carry that stuff?”
“They do, but there are some specific things they don’t carry.”
“Nice,” I say awkwardly. “Well, I’m just getting toner.”
“And pens, I see,” he says while gesturing to the pens in my hand. “You could never get enough of the felt-tip ones.”
“It’s an unhealthy obsession I’m okay with having.”
“Could be worse, I guess.” He rocks on his heels, and the awkwardness settles.
“Well, I’m just going to get back to my toner shopping.” I thumb toward the shelves.
“Have dinner with me,” he says quickly.
“What?” I ask.
“Dinner,” he says, his pleading eyes lifting to mine. “I just . . . I want to talk.”
“Oh.” I clutch the pens tighter. “Well, Brian, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“You are?” he asks, his shock quickly morphing into understanding. “Let me guess . . . Breaker.”
Feeling so freaking guilty, I say, “Nothing happened until after you and I broke up, I swear, Brian. He never made a move on me, ever. I need you to know that.”
He nods. “I believe you.”
And even though he says he believes me, it doesn’t lessen the guilt pumping through me because I know Breaker was such a sensitive topic for him.
“So . . .”
“I still want to have dinner or even just coffee,” he says. “I just . . . well fuck, Lia.” He tugs on his hair. “I just want to clear the air. I know you’ve moved on, but I think I just need some closure.”
As I stare at his weathered eyes, eyes that I used to stare into dreamingly, I realize, that yeah . . . maybe I need some closure too.
So before I can stop myself, I say, “Coffee would be fine.”
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll, uh, I’ll text you the details and leave you to your toner purchases.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Brian.”
He barely smiles and then turns away. When he’s out of sight, I exhale harshly, unaware I was holding my breath.
Closure. I think he’s right. In the back of my mind, I know something has been holding me back from giving myself fully to Breaker. From giving him everything he deserves. My whole heart. Maybe I haven’t closed the chapter on Brian just yet. Although he never usurped Breaker’s number-one spot in my heart—I can see that now—he was important to me.
Closure is always good before you start something new.
Maybe something that’s forever.
Lia: I’m an idiot.
I pace my bedroom while I wait for Myla to text me back. I didn’t want to bother Kelsey or Lottie because they seem to be going through a lot with their pregnancies and their bumbling husbands. In the off chance that they might say something to JP and Huxley, who might say something to Breaker, I think keeping them out of the loop is smart.
My phone chimes, and I quickly read the text.
Myla: Doubtful, but tell me what’s going on.
My fingers fly over my phone, texting her back as quickly as I can.
Lia: I ran into Brian at the office supply store, and he asked me to coffee. I said yes.
I hit send and wince.
Myla: Huh, that seems pretty idiotic. Is there a reason?
Lia: I told him I was dating Breaker, and he understood that. He said he wanted closure, and a part of me wants that too. But I feel like Breaker will freak out.
Myla: Why do you think you need closure?
Lia: At some point, I imagined I’d marry the man. Even though things didn’t end well, we still had some good times, and he played an important role in my life. I think I owe it to us both and to Breaker to close that chapter.
Myla: I could see that. So what’s the problem?
Lia: I just want to make sure it’s a valid reason. And sure, when I saw Brian today, I thought he was handsome, but I’d NEVER, and I mean never, even consider going back to him. Breaker is . . . well, he’s my forever, but when I go to say that to him, I feel this mental block. I think that mental block is Brian.
Myla: I think you might be right. So then just tell Breaker you need closure with Brian and go have it.
Lia: OH MY GOD! I can’t tell Breaker. He would freak out. He’s already super possessive of me. If I told him I had to meet with Brian, he’d second-guess everything, and I’m pretty sure he’d become very insecure. I don’t want to do that to him.
Myla: I know the feeling. Ryot is the same way when it comes to me. So, if you think you need to do this to find closure so you can freely move on with Breaker, then do it.
Lia: Yeah?
Myla: Yeah. If you truly want a fresh start with Breaker with nothing in the way, then you need to make sure you have a clear mind. Trust me, I know from experience.
Lia: I think you’re right. Okay. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
Myla: Anytime!
“Where the hell are you?” Breaker says, flying through my front door.
“Back here,” I say from my bedroom.
I hear him set something down, his shoes fly off, and then he jogs into my bedroom. I turn around just in time to catch him flying at me and tackling me to my bed.
His lips find my neck, my jaw, my mouth.
“Fuck, I missed you,” he says while tugging at my shirt.