“Will you settle down? I’m already dealing with a hormonal wife. I don’t need a hormonal brother as well.”
“Excuse me, but when Kelsey was going out with another guy, I’m pretty sure I was fucking there for you.”
“Yeah, and you were also single with nothing better to do than to soothe my aching soul. I’m trying to buy fucking mozzarella, for fuck’s sake. You’re asking too much of me.”
“Why are you useless?” I ask while I flop back on the bed.
“Listen, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation about what’s going on. Why don’t you just wait for her, and when she gets home, you ask her? Don’t confront her. Don’t blame her. Just ask her. Think you can do that?”
“Yeah, I think so,” I say, taking a deep breath.
“And for the love of God, don’t tell her I saw her and sent you a picture. That shit will get back to Kelsey, and she’ll have my nuts.” He lowers his voice. “I truly am scared, man. She’s something different when pregnant.”
“Wow, you make wanting a family so much less desirable.”
“Currently, it’s a three out of ten for me. I’d not recommend it.”
“Great.” I stand from my bed. “I’m going over to her place. The sooner I see her, the better.”
“Remember, be cool.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I say before hanging up and stabbing my hand through my hair. “Fuck, I feel sick.” I take a deep breath and, wearing only a pair of joggers and a white T-shirt, I walk over to her apartment, where I set my phone down on her kitchen counter and start to pace the living room.
She can’t be getting back together with him, right?
There’s no fucking way.
I’m tempted to stare at the picture, to analyze it until nothing is left inside me but dust and failed dreams, but I know that will do nothing for my psyche. Instead, I continue to pace and not freak myself out.
I love her.
It’s plain and simple, just like that. I love her, and I won’t fucking lose her. Not to Brian, not to anyone.
The elevator down the hall dings, and I shoot up off her couch, where I was attempting to meditate but doing a piss-poor job. All I ended up thinking about was the picture JP sent me and wondering why the hell she was touching him. And why she was still with him an hour after that photo came through. She’s now been gone for over two hours.
Footsteps track down the hall and come closer and closer to her apartment until her key fits through the lock. I steal my breath, and as the door opens, sweat breaks out over my skin as her beautiful face comes into view.
When her eyes lift and spot me, she startles, clutching the giant white garment bag in her arms. “Jesus, Breaker. I didn’t know you were here.”
My eyes fall to the garment bag, and I know what that is . . . her wedding dress.
What the fuck is going on?
“Hey,” I say, swallowing hard.
“Have you been here the whole time?”
“No,” I say, feeling jittery. “I went back to my place to get changed, but then I came back here to wait for you.”
“Oh,” she says as her eyes fall to the garment bag and then back to me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why is she holding that? Why isn’t she kissing me? Why did she meet with Brian?
“Did you, uh . . . have a nice time?” I ask.
“I did,” she says as she opens her coat closet and hangs the garment bag. She had a good time? With Brian? My stomach plummets as I squeeze my hands together, attempting to stop myself from doing something stupid. When she shuts the door, she looks at me and says, “Listen, we need to talk.”
I’m going to vomit.
How?
How could he possibly come back into her life and Lia be okay with it? She even said it herself she didn’t love him in the end. She was happy with her choice. So what changed her mind? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? I thought . . . well, fuck, I thought we were okay. Better than okay. I thought we were amazing.
“Do you think we could sit—”
“Don’t choose him,” I shout, unable to stop myself. “Please, Lia.” My voice grows shaky. “Don’t . . . don’t choose him.”
Her expression turns into confusion as she says, “Choose who?”
“Brian,” I say. “I . . . fuck. JP saw you at a coffee shop with Brian, holding hands, and I know this is shitty of me to say and to put this kind of pressure on you, but please don’t go back to him. Choose me. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Anything, just—”
“Breaker,” she says, coming up and taking my hand. “I’m not getting back together with Brian.”
“You’re not?” I ask as a wave of relief floods through me, causing my eyes to tear up.
“No,” she answers as she cups my face. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry that your mind even went there.” And then she lifts onto her toes, brings my face closer, and presses a kiss to my lips. I’m so relieved that I nearly collapse.
“I need . . . fuck, I need to sit down,” I say.
She guides me to the sofa, where I sit, and she sits next to me. I shake my head, wanting her as close as possible, and I bring her to my lap, where she straddles my legs, and I can hold on to her.
“Oh my God, were you thinking this whole time that I was getting back together with him?” she asks.
“Yes,” I whisper as I rub my hands up and down her sides.
“No. I would never. Brian and I . . . well, I guess I should start from the beginning.”
I nod. “Yeah, it might be a good idea.”
She presses her hand to my chest and says, “I ran into Brian at the office supply store. It was really strange seeing him again, for obvious reasons. He was cordial and asked if we could go out to dinner.” My body tightens at the thought of them sharing a meal together. “I told him I was seeing someone, and he guessed it was you. I don’t know if he was happy for us, but he was happy that I was happy. Not sure where he stands with you.”
“As if I give two fucks,” I say.
She chuckles. “Anyway, he thought things ended abruptly and asked if we could just talk it out, find some closure. Basically, he wanted to apologize. At first, I was unsure. I told him to text me where to meet him, but after, I was uneasy about it. I was talking to Myla about whether I should go or not when I realized that it wasn’t a question at all. I needed to meet up with him.”
“To, uh . . . to see if you still had feelings for him?”
She smiles lightly. “No, Breaker, to find closure. You see, I happen to be in a relationship with someone I really care about. I wasn’t giving him everything I had because this door with Brian was still open. I never truly got to close it. That’s what tonight was about. Ending that chapter in my life so I can have a fresh start . . . with you.”
More relief floods through me, and I drop my head to the back of the couch. “Jesus,” I whisper. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Because you would have freaked out.”
“No, I wouldn’t have.”
She gives me a judging look before saying, “If I told you I was going to coffee with Brian, you would have flipped out. Don’t even lie to me.”