He sat beside her, draped the blanket over them and then lay down. “Come here,” he whispered.
It was the most natural thing in the world for her to go into his arms. Lily closed her eyes against the rightness of it. The solid length of his body against hers. The brush of his chest hair against her sensitized nipples. The nudge of the velvet tip of his penis against her abdomen. She put every nuance to memory because she knew the moment was fleeting. Nothing this perfect lasted forever. If Lily had learned anything in her life, it was that the good things didn’t last.
“What are you thinking of?” he asked.
She looked into the vivid blue of his eyes, felt another pang of longing deep within her. “You,” she said, scooting closer to him. “Us.” Touching her nose to his, she smiled at him, but it felt a little sad on her face.
He kissed her then. A soft, lingering kiss that was so sweet it brought tears to her eyes. A kiss that held the promise of heat and a thousand other things she would have sold her soul to accept.
He whispered her name as he entered her, saying it over and over again as he moved within her. Lily accepted him into the deepest reaches of her body, giving him everything except the one thing she knew he wanted most.
Her heart.
Chapter 12
Robert stood at the mouth of the mine entrance and watched the rain sweep over the forest in sheets. He didn’t relish the idea of going back into the storm. It was too damn cold for him, let alone for a one-year-old baby, but he knew there was no way they could avoid it. Dawn would arrive in a couple of hours. It was only a matter of time before DeBruzkya’s soldiers found them. With topographical maps of the area, they could already be on the way.
Troubled and restless and more uneasy than he wanted to admit, Robert closed the door and turned. The fire burned low, casting yellow light on the jagged rock walls and ancient wood beams. He looked at Lily sleeping several feet away. She was lying on her side with Jack curled against her. He stared at them, keenly aware of the swift rise of emotion at the sight of mother and child. And he wondered how in God’s name he was going to keep them safe.
He stood there for several long minutes, shaken by the power of his emotions. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened between him and Lily just a few short hours ago. The way she’d come apart in his arms. It was as if all the months of pain and grief had erupted and spilled over into passion. When the emotions had become too much for her to contain, she’d cried. He’d held her tightly, but it hadn’t been enough, and he couldn’t ever remember feeling so helpless.
He wanted to believe the experience had moved him so profoundly because it had been such a long time since he’d taken a lover. But Robert had never been able to lie to himself, especially when it came to Lily. He knew why their lovemaking had shaken him so profoundly. Knew it had nothing to do with the physical—and everything to do with his heart.
He’d fallen in love with her all over again. Something he swore he’d never do after what she’d put him through. He hadn’t the slightest idea how to handle the situation. Lily wasn’t an easy woman to love. She was stubborn and headstrong and independent to a fault. But she was also generous and kind and more fragile than she would ever admit. Her childhood had shaped her, damaged her, made her the beautiful person she was, and he loved the good right along with the flawed—no questions asked.
Once she had her mind set, there was no stopping her. He knew she wasn’t going to leave Rebelia. The truth of that twisted him into knots. Made him feel powerless and inept and so frustrated he wanted to shake her.
He thought of his mission and tried not to envision how this was going to end. Robert wasn’t very good at losing people. He’d lost his father to hemoedema when he’d been ten years old. He’d lost his brother two years later to the same disease. He’d be damned if he’d let this woman rip out his heart.
Feeling the weight of the world settle onto his shoulders, Robert walked over to Lily and Jack and knelt. For several long seconds he watched them sleep. They looked peaceful in the flickering light from the fire, and his heart stumbled hard at the thought of losing them. He loved her. He loved the child they had created. He wished it was enough.
But it wasn’t.
Robert would find a way to be in Jack’s life. He would find a way to know him. To guide him and love him and be the best father he could. That wasn’t what Robert wanted—he wanted a hell of a lot more—but it would have to be enough.
“Hey.”