Robert glanced at Lily to see her smiling at him. The firelight turned her hair to silk and shone like tiny lights in her luminous eyes. Her beauty, the depth of his need for her shook him. For a moment he was so taken aback by his feelings for her that he couldn’t speak. All he could do was look at her and want her while knowing that if he went to her now, it would be a mistake from which he would never recover.
Casting him a concerned look, she propped up on an elbow, careful to keep the blanket over her. “Are you all right? You look…troubled.”
“We have to go,” he heard himself say.
She looked uneasily toward the mine entrance and sat up straighter. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s only a matter of time before DeBruzkya’s soldiers find us here. We can’t risk staying. And we can’t travel during the daylight hours.”
She glanced over at Jack, brushed her hand across his cheek. “What time is it?”
“Almost five.” He rose and walked to where their clothes hung on the wire above the fire. Her skirt and sweater were dry for the most part, so he took them down and handed them to her.
“Thank you,” she said, not meeting his gaze.
Robert turned and walked away, careful to keep his back to her. He heard the rustle of clothes and wondered if he would ever make love to her again.
“Robert?”
Something in her voice spun him around. She was holding Jack, staring at him, her face ashen.
“What is it?” Robert asked, but he was already moving toward her.
“He’s cold.” Laying the baby down, she put trembling hands on his face, ran them gently over his body. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
Panic resonated in her voice. Robert could see it in her eyes. He knelt beside her. “Let’s get him out of his carrier so I can see him.”
“Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, Jack.”
“Stay calm, Lily.” Robert saw immediately that the child was lethargic and having a difficult time waking up. He picked up one of Jack’s chubby hands, pressed down on the tip of his fingernail. “Blood return is delayed.”
Lily’s eyes were huge and frightened when she turned to him. “What does that mean?”
“That means we need to get him to the hospital.”
“What’s happening?”
Robert worked quickly to free Jack from his carrier. Once he was out he laid him on his back on the tarp and checked his pulse. “Grab my bag,” he snapped.
She jumped to her feet, scooped up Robert’s bag and brought it to him. “Tell me,” she demanded. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He may be going into anemic shock.”
“Shock?” Falling to her knees next to her child, she looked at his still little body and put her hand over her mouth to smother a cry. “Oh, no. Oh, God, no.”
Robert reached into his medical bag for a syringe. He tore the wrapper off, then removed the small bottle of vitamin B-12 from its box and inserted the needle into the protective rubber stopper.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to give him some B-12 to see if I can get his red cell count up. That should help.” He hoped it would.
Tears streamed down her face as she watched Robert turn the child onto his stomach and inject the vitamin. Jack let out a healthy-sounding wail, and Lily choked back a sob that was half pain, half relief.
“Sorry about that, big guy,” Robert said as he withdrew the needle and dropped it into an orange biohazard cup. “I know it smarts.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever be so happy to hear him cry,” Lily said.
Robert looked at her, saw the fear etched into her every feature, and his heart broke for her. “He’s going to be all right,” he said. “But we need to get him to the hospital as soon as possible.”
She wiped the tears on her cheeks with her sleeve, then leaned forward and gathered a crying Jack into her arms. “It’s going to be all right, sweetheart. Shh, don’t cry. It’s okay. Daddy’s going to fix you right up.”
Daddy.
The word jolted him. It was the first time either of them had used it, and it hit him in a place that was vulnerable and raw. He sat back on his heels and watched her dress Jack, wondering if she realized what she’d said. If she had any idea how much that single word had affected him. How much it hurt.
“I’ve only got one more bottle,” she said, taking a small plastic bottle of milk from her backpack. “I’ll need to pick up some baby food and goat’s milk at the market once we get into town.”
Robert glanced at her, realized belatedly that she’d been speaking to him. “I checked the map while you were sleeping. Rajalla is only a couple of miles away. If we maintain a good pace we should be there in half an hour or so.”
“All right.” Lily rose, scooped up Jack and secured the straps of his carrier.
For an instant, Robert considered carrying Jack. Then he realized that no matter how much he held his child now, it wasn’t going to help when he had returned home, an ocean away, and his heart was once again empty.