La Vida Vampire

“You got it. These are friends from the ghost tour company.”


Cami acknowledged them with a smile and took Mick’s order, a pint, Black & Tan. Janie considered a decadent chocolate dessert but went with a drink, a mudslide. I nursed my glass of sweet tea and ice as we worked on the incident report and leafed through the tourists’ names and addresses, trying to match them with faces. Laughter and music swelled and ebbed, but it was quiet enough to converse on our corner of the porch, and I was enjoying myself.

Until Cami approached us with a bottle, a glass, and a nervous frown. I recognized the label, my favorite brand of artificial blood. What the heck?

She shrugged her apology. “Sorry, Cesca, but a couple inside sent this to you.”

Starbloods bottles are tinted tan so the contents aren’t in-your-face obvious. Still, I whipped my shawl off and around the bottle as she handed it to me before Mick or Janie could be grossed out. It was cold and still capped. Good for Cami.

“That couple, they wouldn’t happen to be speaking French, would they?” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t like the answer. She nodded. “They’re sitting at the fireplace table.”

Janie tensed next to me. “Is a guy with a scar on his jaw in there, too?”

“Yeah, and he’s driving the waitstaff crazy. Won’t sit down. Keeps pacing and getting in our way. Why?”

“The lone guy is a troublemaker,” Mick told her, then turned to me. “Want to get out of here, Cesca?”

I was tempted, but he still had half a pint left, and Janie had her drink.

“Naw, I’ll go talk to the newlyweds for a minute.” I used my best shucky-darn tone, made like it was no big deal, and felt Janie relax.

I didn’t, and I tensed even more as I approached the front porch entry door. Through the glass I saw Stony standing at the foot of the stairs, arms crossed, his back to me.

I clenched the Starbloods bottle with both hands, my shawl trailing around it, and bit my lip. I could blow by this jerk with just a touch of vampire speed if I knew how to turn on the power. Open the door, slip past him, nothing to it. Maybe it would work.

I took a breath, thought speed and zip, I did it. True, I stumbled when I put on the brakes to avoid knocking over a waitress, but I reached the table by the fireplace where the newlyweds sat without flattening anyone. I gave the couple a bright false smile. “Hi, are you enjoying your meal?”

As inane as asking about the weather, I know, but my manners are ingrained.

“Oui, very much,” Yolette answered. “But I see you do not drink your blood. Why?”

“Much as I appreciate the gesture, I don’t drink in public.” I smiled again to remove any insult. “Thank you anyway. I’ll be sure your waitress takes it off your bill.”

“Wait!” Yolette sprang from her chair and slid an arm around my waist.

She smelled faintly of fresh blood, and my stomach turned queasy. Did she have a cut? If so, I didn’t want to be blamed for it, especially when someone bellowed behind me. It sounded a lot like Stony’s voice, but Yolette’s caressing hand was scarier.

“Mon amie,” she said, even as footsteps shook the floorboards. “Why do you not drink with your good friends? Surely they cannot be offended if they are intimate with you.”

“Uh, intimate?” Language barrier alert. She couldn’t mean—

“But of course. Vampires bring such spice to lovemaking. Etienne and me, we often have vampire lovers.”

Yikes. She did mean.

I stood mute. Stony hovered two feet at my back, making froth-at-the-mouth sounds. Yolette’s hand kneaded my waist. I felt faint and wanted to disappear, but flinched when Etienne laughed, harsh and startling.

“Ah, Yolette, I think this little vampire is an innocent. See? She blushes.”

“C’est vrai? Truly you do not share a bed with your friends?”

“No,” I blurted, and meant hell no.

“We would welcome you then.” She moved her hand from my waist—finally!—but lifted it to caress my cheek. “We could teach you so much, d’accord, Etienne?”

“Oui,” Etienne said, his voice rich with speculation as he eyed me like I was the rarest dish on the menu. Stony moved then, jerking me sideways by the arm so fast a mortal would’ve had whiplash. Though his fingers dug smack into the same spot on my right arm where he’d grabbed me earlier, I kept both hands on the Starbloods bottle. Points for me. Stony stuck his face close to Yolette’s. “I’m warning you, I’ll see you dead before you screw a vampire in my town.”

“Is there a problem, folks?”

I turned to see Larry Hardy, the night manager, a smile in place along with his business suit and name badge, but his narrow gaze measured the scene.

Etienne rose from his seat and waved a languid hand. “Non, non. C’est a mere misunderstanding.”

Yolette tossed her hair and stamped a foot. “Quel problème! This man,” she pointed dramatically, “he follows us and he threatens me just now. I demand he be removed at once.”