“I need you,” he said softly, backing her toward the bed. “I need you more than I need my next breath of air.”
She wanted to believe he meant it on a physical level. Physical attraction was simple. But there was nothing simple about Chase Vickers. He was complex; he could be difficult. Rarely did he compromise. And she knew the meaning of his words went deeper than the flesh, edged into territory she’d spent the past seven-and-a-half months protecting.
She wanted to believe all the emotions rampaging through her were the result of physical attraction, as well, but Lily knew better. Even though nothing could ever come of her relationship with Chase, there was a small part of her that still loved him.
Her thoughts exploded into chaos when he eased her onto the bed and came down on top of her. Suddenly, her body was no longer hers, but that of a woman desperate for a man’s touch. A woman who’d been alone too long. A woman who needed the physical love of the man who held her heart in his palm.
Chase kissed her hard, his mouth moving over hers with an urgency that fed the fire within her. But he was excruciatingly gentle with her body. He was careful not to put his weight on her belly.
He fumbled with the zipper of his slacks, then kicked them off. Sitting up, he pulled the comforter over them, then lay beside her so that they were nose to nose. “Can you…can you…”
She’d rarely seen Chase Vickers without words. Seeing him that way now charmed her. “Can I have sex?” she finished for him.
“Well…yeah. I mean, with the baby.”
Lily couldn’t help it; even though she was troubled by the high level of emotion between them, she smiled. “Somehow women have been managing that for thousands of years.”
“Well, I’ve never done this with a pregnant woman before,” he confessed.
“Me, either.”
For a moment the music of their laughter filled the room. Lily laughed until tears squeezed from between her lashes. Then Chase put his hands on either side of her face. When she opened her eyes, he kissed her. The gentleness of the kiss devastated her. Longing that was both emotional and physical gripped her body, her mind, her heart.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I always have, and I always will.”
“I wish it was that simple,” she said.
“It is. If you let it be.”
“I can’t.”
“I know, honey.” Looking deeply into her eyes, he kissed her again. “I know.”
Desire spread through her like wildfire. She gave herself over to his kiss.
Pulling back slightly, he gave her a small smile. “I know this isn’t going to solve anything. It’s not going to fix the problem. But I want you to know you and that baby mean the world to me.” He ran his palm over her cheek. “I promise I will never hurt you.” He set his other hand over her belly. “I promise I’ll never bring harm to our child.”
Emotion gripped Lily with such power that she couldn’t speak. She stared into his eyes while her heart beat out of control, and wished with all her might that things could be different.
He entered her with devastating slowness. Lily cried out with pleasure when he started to move within her. She’d been celibate since that final night with Chase. Since becoming pregnant, she hadn’t seen herself as a sexual being. Once again, he proved her wrong. The sensations coursing through her body were more powerful than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. She could already feel herself barreling toward release.
As his mouth fused to hers and his hands caressed her, his body moved within hers until they became one. One body. One heart. One soul.
Completion crashed over her, a storm drowning a parched land. The power of it shook her, emotionally and physically. She cried out his name. Once. Twice.
He captured his name with a kiss. Shuddering with the power of his own completion, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered her name.
IT WASN’T OFTEN that Chase hated himself. He was generally well-adjusted; he was forgiving of his mistakes, and for the most part believed his good traits outweighed the bad. Today, staring at the ceiling with Lily warm and soft beside him, Chase loathed himself with a passion he could not describe.
He’d done the exact thing he’d sworn he wouldn’t. He’d rekindled a fire that should have been left to die. A fire that was now burning out of control and threatening everything he cared for, everything he believed in.
Lily had been right all along; their relationship was destined for disaster. Regardless of his feelings for her, he’d had no right to get close to her or involve her in his life. He’d been a naive fool to think he could touch her and then walk away. But that wasn’t the worst part of what he’d done.
He’d brought danger to Lily.
Cold terror swept up his spine at the thought of what he’d let happen. How could he have been so stupid? So utterly selfish? Why hadn’t he listened to his intellect instead of his sex drive?
But Chase knew why, and the truth of it shattered every illusion he’d ever had about himself.