Wait for Me

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kate pushed the hospital room door open and smiled at the conversation she’d walked in on.

“Would you quit fussing at me?” Mitch swatted at Simone’s hand as she tried to fix the blankets around him. “I’m not four.”

“I swear, you are the worst patient ever. I don’t know how these nurses put up with you.” She shot him an annoyed look.

Kate eased into the room. Afternoon sunlight slanted through the window. “Grumpy?”

“A royal pain in my ass,” Simone grumbled.

“You’re a real peach, too, sweetheart,” Mitch muttered.

Laughing, Kate stepped up to the bed and squeezed his toes under the blankets. “A knock on the head will do that to a person. Trust me, I know.”

After two days, Mitch’s energy was slowly returning. His head was still bandaged, and he’d lost some curls when they’d shaved one side of his scalp for the fifteen stitches he’d needed, but he was gradually inching back to his old sarcastic self.

“I need caffeine.” Simone dropped her arms and headed for the door.

“Why don’t you go pick up that red leather number while you’re out,” Mitch called. When she looked back with a shocked expression, he said, “Yeah, I heard you, gorgeous. And I sure as hell am not forgetting that promise.”

Simone huffed and left the room. When she was gone, Kate smiled at her brother. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“On what?” He reached for her hand and scooted over so she could sit on the side of his bed.

“On finding your penguin. Julia told me about the book she read.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not marrying her, for shit’s sake. We’re just dating. At the moment, that’s all I can get her to agree to.”

“I know.” Kate brushed a curl back from his face. “You should be nicer to her, though. She was really worried. You looked like death warmed over in my kitchen. I think she had flashbacks of Steve.”

“Shit.” His eyes slid closed. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I’m sure not. You are a guy, after all.”

“And all men are insensitive, is that it?”

“Well…”

“Let’s not go there, smartass.” His face sobered. “How are you?”

Kate drew in a long breath. Aside from the press hounding her since the story broke, and the agony still coursing through her every time she thought of Ryan, she was surviving. Barely.

“I’m fine.” She mustered up a smile she knew didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll be glad when things quiet down. Mitch, I—”

“If you even think about thanking me, I’ll kick you out of here.”

A real smile curled her lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good.” He frowned. “‘Cause my image is shot. I got my ass kicked by a girl. Again.”

“A psycho girl. There’s a difference. And you weren’t the only one.”

His eyes softened. “How’s the other guy?”

The other guy was the security detail Ryan had posted outside her house. The one Kate hadn’t even known about. The one Hannah had shot in the chest before going after Mitch. “He’s going to live. Paramedics got to him in time.”

“Thank God,” Mitch muttered. He squeezed her hand. “Did you talk to Ryan?”

Tears stung the backs of her eyes, and she swallowed to keep the flood from breaking again. “No.”

“Kate—”

“Mitch, don’t start. You have other things to think of now.”

The door opened, and she and Mitch both glanced over as Ryan stuck his head into the room. A smile split his face, sending butterflies straight through Kate’s belly. “Hey. Is Nurse Nitpick gone?”

“You just missed her,” Mitch said.

“Good.” Ryan tugged a bag from behind his back as he walked into the room. “She’d boot my ass out of here for this, guaranteed.” He pulled a bottle of microbrew from the bag and handed it to Mitch.

“Oh, baby.” Mitch reached for the bottle. “If I were gay, I’d marry you.”

“Hate to break it to you, buddy, but you aren’t my type.”

Kate’s heart bumped when Ryan looked her way. His blond hair was slightly mussed, his worn jeans hanging loosely off his hips. The white T-shirt he wore accentuated his tan.

She wanted those strong arms around her like they’d been before any of this had happened. For the first time, she wished she couldn’t remember the misery of her life.

Simone pushed the door open. She stopped mid-step with a steaming paper cup in her hand. “What the hell is that?”

Ryan mouthed Oh, shit at Mitch before turning.

“Medicine,” Mitch said, taking a long swallow.

Simone crossed to the bed, set her coffee on the tray at her side. “That’s not allowed when you’re on painkillers.”

She reached for the bottle. Mitch held it out of her reach. She leaned over him to try to grasp it. Pressing it into Ryan’s hands, Mitch wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him.

“What are you doing? Let go of me. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

He tightened his grip. “Aw, sweetheart, you’re the only one who cares about me.”

She struggled. “I mean it.”

“Me too.” His voice softened. “I love you, Simone.”

Her eyes took on that dreamy look. “Oh, Mitch.”

Kate pushed off the bed, smiling for the first time in days. At least something good had come from this gigantic nightmare. “I think that’s my cue to go. I’ll come back later, Mitch.”

“They’re sending me home,” he mumbled against Simone’s lips.

“My home,” Simone said between his kisses.

“Aw, sweetheart,” he said in a sappy voice, “that’s the best offer I’ve ever had.”

Ryan set the bottle on the tray table and ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I’ll go too.”

“No more beer, Ryan,” Simone ordered against Mitch’s mouth.

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll, uh, remember that. See ya, guys.”

Kate stepped out into the hall. Her nerves vibrated when Ryan followed. It was the first time they’d been alone since that afternoon on Simone’s deck.

The door snapped closed behind him. “Do you have to go?”

Her heart clenched when she looked up into those sapphire eyes. It would be so easy just to sink into his arms, to forget everything that had happened. But she knew it wouldn’t help. “Yeah. I have a thousand things to do today.”

“The kids are with my parents. What do you have to do that’s so important?”

She heard the need in his voice. And damn if it didn’t make her want him more. “Pack. Ryan, I’m leaving.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“Washington. It’s just for a couple of weeks,” she added when she saw the panic in his eyes. “Mt. St. Helens is grumbling to life. The journal wants to do an article on it. I talked to Tom about working on an assignment. I…I need some time away right now.”

He was silent so long, she wasn’t sure he’d heard her. Then he said, “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow night. I talked to my parents about staying on until I get back. They’d love the time with Reed. I didn’t know if you’d—”

“He’s my son. I want him with me.”

Of course he did. That was stupid of her. No matter what had happened between the two of them, he’d fallen for Reed in a big way. “I know. It’s just that you work. And I didn’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Katie.” His voice softened. “You’re never an inconvenience.”

Oh, man. If he kept looking at her with those emotion-filled eyes, she’d never get out of here. She swallowed hard. “Are you okay with them keeping him during the day while you’re at work?”

“Of course. You don’t need to ask that.”

A dull ache filled her chest. This was going to be impossible. Sharing the kids would kill her. Having to see him on weekends when they exchanged, knowing if she weren’t so damn stubborn she could have exactly what she wanted.

But she still hurt. She hurt from his lies. From the fact he hadn’t trusted her enough to be honest. She was so tired of the lies and secrets that had ruled her life for way too long. Deep inside, she was afraid she’d always wonder if he were telling her the truth.

“Okay.” Silence stretched between them. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she said, “I, ah, need to go finish packing. I’ll tell Julia when I see her this afternoon.” She turned for the elevator.

His hand on her arm stopped her. Heat spread along her skin, ignited a fire inside her. “Wait. We need to talk about us.”

Emotions she didn’t want to deal with poured through her. She tried to steady her quaking voice. “I know, Ryan. But I can’t right now. I need some time to figure everything out. Things between us happened so fast. I’m not sure what I need.”

“How long do you think it’s going to take you to think things through?”

“I don’t know. I…I don’t expect you to wait for me.”

“Ah, babe. I’d wait for you forever.”

Her eyes slid shut to block the tears. He knew exactly what to say to make her heart tip right over the edge. “I have to go, Ryan.”

She eased out of his grasp and stepped into the elevator. He was still watching her when she turned, hands shoved deep into his pockets, heartache stamped across his handsome face.

As the doors closed, she had a pretty strong hunch that face was going to haunt her forever.

Glancing down at her boarding pass, Kate made her way through the crowded terminal. She checked her watch. She had almost an hour until her flight up to Portland. She didn’t want to sit at the gate that long. With a sigh, she headed toward the coffee cart at the end of the corridor and grabbed a latté.

Sinking into a chair, she sipped her coffee and told herself she’d done the right thing. If she was lucky, a few weeks away would clear her head, give her something else to focus on besides the craziness that had become her life.

And maybe when she came back, she’d have a clue what she was going to do about Ryan.

She listened to the muffled conversations around her. An attractive couple strolled up to the coffee cart, arm in arm. The man smiled, brushed the woman’s blond hair away from her neck, and kissed her ear. The woman leaned into his chest and grinned. The glint of bright gold on their fingers signaled they were newlyweds.

A young girl with dark hair, roughly Julia’s age, ran up to them. A warm smile spread across the man’s face as he wrapped an arm around the girl and his wife paid for their drinks.

Kate’s eyes slid closed. She could have that. If she really wanted it, she could have that and so much more.

I’d wait for you forever.

Tears stung her eyes. She loved Ryan. That wasn’t the issue. At this point, she didn’t even question what she felt for him. She couldn’t fight it any more than he could. But was it enough? Would she be able to forget the rest of it? The lies? The hurt? Would she ever be able to trust him again?

The couple from the coffee cart settled around a table next to her.

“How long are you going to be gone?” the young girl asked, slurping her drink through a straw.

The man’s deep voice made Kate glance sideways. “Long enough for your mom to realize she can’t live without me.” He lifted the woman’s hand and kissed her fingers.

The blonde ran her hand across his rugged face. “That, I already know.”

He smiled. “Took you long enough to figure it out. You made me wait forever.”

A redhead walked up and sat in the empty chair at their table. Kate had seen her with the young girl before she’d run to her parents. “Good thing you’re both so forgiving. You let all that other crap get in the way much too long. Who said what to whom and when. I swear, words cause more trouble than they’re worth sometimes.”

All that other crap. Kate swallowed. Was that what she was doing? Letting circumstances rule her life? Letting what Ryan had or hadn’t told her interfere with what she felt in her soul? If she let her heart make her decision for her, she wouldn’t be sitting here wondering what the hell to do next.

He loved her. Anything he’d kept from her, he’d done to keep her safe. She knew that. Even if she didn’t like it, she knew everything he’d done was only for her.

The muscles in her chest tightened. Suddenly, forever seemed much too long. All this time, she’d been searching for a past she thought would save her, when she should have been trusting her gut. It was the love buried deep inside that had the power to show her what was real. Nothing else mattered. Not really.

She clamored to her feet. Her latté spilled across the table.

The blonde at the next table leaned across the chairs between them and tossed a pile of napkins over the spilled coffee. “Here, let me help you.”

“Thanks.” Kate mopped up the mess. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It happens.” When Kate looked up, concern flowed through the woman’s pale blue eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”

“No. Yes.” She reached for her bag, not sure if she was going to laugh or cry. “I have to go. You have a beautiful family.”

The blonde smiled. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For reminding me what really matters.”

Ryan tugged on the collar of his tux as he sat at a table in the packed ballroom. Men and women in formal attire swayed across the floor. The band cranked out notes to an ancient jazz number while light glittered from the massive chandeliers above.

He didn’t want to be here. The last thing he needed tonight was to be surrounded by a bunch of people he had no use for. What he wanted was to be home with the kids, maybe drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey after they went to bed.

He couldn’t even remember what this damn charity event was for. The homeless? Public schools? Models in need of plastic surgery? He didn’t care. If he hadn’t already committed to it, he’d have come up with an excuse to get out of it. And he hated that he’d taken his new PR director’s advice that showing his face tonight would be a good thing for his company.

The last thing he cared about right now was his company. He shouldn’t have listened.

“They’re really making a killing tonight.”

“Hmm?” The woman’s voice to his left dragged him from his thoughts. She had to be about eighty years old, with snow-white hair, a silver, beaded, long-sleeved dress, and the biggest rock on her finger he’d ever seen. He vaguely remembered she was related to some bigwig in state government. How the hell he’d gotten stuck at this table was beyond him.

He should have brought a date. Then, at least, he wouldn’t have to listen to the old woman’s monotonous voice. Problem was, he couldn’t even think about dating anyone now. Didn’t think he ever would. There was only one woman he wanted, and she was on a plane, halfway to Portland by now.

“The Inner City Youth Authority, of course,” the old woman said. “I can’t believe how many people are here supporting them. It’s wonderful, don’t you think?”

Inner City Youth Authority. Right. That was it.

“Yeah.” He feigned interest in the conversation. “Raking in the dough.” Barely listening, he calculated how much longer he had to stay before he could sneak out.

“Terrible news about that nasty business you were in,” the old woman next to him went on. “I heard your wife left.”

His gaze snapped to her. “What?”

She waved a hand. “Oh, honey. No one can keep secrets in this town. My daughter just went through a divorce. She’s about your age. I should give you her number.”

Bingo. That did it. Ryan pushed out of his chair and mustered up a polite smile. “Would you excuse me?”

He weaved his way through the crowded dance floor. Was afraid he just might implode if he didn’t get out soon. Freedom teased him from the corner of the room. He was stopped a handful of times by business acquaintances. Each one grated on his already frayed nerves.

Excusing himself from the last conversation, he stepped toward the door, only to be stopped by a familiar voice.

“Mon cher, it’s so good to see you.”

Oh, shit. Monique.

He stared into her perfect face surrounded by that thick mane of red hair and couldn’t for the life of him remember what the hell he’d seen in her. “I had no idea you’d be here.”

“My agent roped me into it since I was in the city. Good publicity.”

That made sense. She obviously wasn’t here because she cared about inner city youth.

“You look good, mon cher.” She stepped closer. “So sorry to hear about your recent drama.”

“Yeah, I bet you were.”

She smiled seductively, batted her long lashes. “You never told me about your wife.”

“Well, we never got around to discussing anything serious, did we?”

She eased closer, slid her arm through his, leaned in a breath from his ear. “Why don’t you and I go somewhere quiet, and you can tell me all the sordid details. I’m a good listener.”

Being alone with her was the last thing he wanted. He pulled her hand from his arm. “Don’t you have a date?”

Stupid question. Of course she did.

She waved a hand. “Oh, he’s around somewhere. A complete bore, though. I’d much rather catch up with you, mon cher. You owe me anyway.”

Not gonna happen.

“You know, as tempting as that is, I think I have to pass.” His eyes darted toward the door, judging the distance to freedom. And the air clogged in his lungs when Katie stepped into the room.

She was dressed in jeans, a snug, orange T-shirt, clunky loafers, and a leather jacket that hung off one shoulder. Her curly mass of chestnut hair was wild around her face, and her cheeks were flushed, as if she’d just run ten blocks. And standing there, surrounded by women in ten-thousand-dollar gowns wearing every jewel imaginable, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

She was also supposed to be on a plane. Surprise morphed to worry. He headed her way, barely hearing Monique as she called out to him. When Katie spotted him, she pushed through the crowd, making a beeline straight for him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when he reached her. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” she said. “Everything. I mean…”

She was flustered. She was never flustered. That worry ramped up a notch. “Katie—”

Her gaze dropped to his left hand, and she sighed, reaching for him, sliding her fingers along his, touching his wedding band. “You’re still wearing this.”

“I always wear it.”

“You’re an idiot, Ryan Harrison. You were going to sit here and wait for me to make up my mind, weren’t you?”

“I told you I would.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

Hope welled inside. “Are you saying you want me?”

She tightened her fingers around his. “I’ve been fighting who I am and what I want because I can’t remember my life. Tonight, sitting in that airport, I realized that you and the kids are my life. I’ve let too much other garbage get in the way. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

She wanted them. His heart swelled even as his eyes slid closed. “You’d better be sure, because I can’t go through losing you again. Twice in one lifetime is too much. If you want me, it’s got to be forever.”

“Ryan, look at me.” Her soft fingers against his jaw brought his eyes open. “I’m still upset that you lied to me. But I understand why you did it. I know it was because you love me, and you were trying to keep me safe. But in addition to your love, I need your trust. I need to know that when things get bad, you’re always going to be there for me. That I can count on you.”

“I will be. You can.”

“And I need to know that deep down, no matter what, you believe I’ll be there for you. Marriage is a partnership. It doesn’t work without trust.”

She was talking about marriage. His heart felt like it grew three sizes in his chest. “Katie—”

She stepped close. So close he could feel the heat from her body, smell the lilac of her skin, see the tears glinting in her eyes. “I’ll tell you what I want. I want you to kiss me like you did at my house, to make love to me like you did at yours. I want to wake up with you every morning and go to bed with you every night. I want our kids and our life together. I want it all, but mostly, I just want you.”

He couldn’t breathe. She wanted him. Really wanted him. Even after he’d screwed things up so badly between them.

Her thumb brushed his bottom lip, sent sparks of heat straight to his soul. “I love you, Ryan Harrison. I always have. I was just too stubborn to realize that’s the only thing that really matters.”

He cradled her face in his hands and swiped away a tear that had fallen from her lashes. “Why did it take you so damn long to figure that out?”

She smiled as he kissed her, as her arms wound around him, as she pulled him so tight, what was left of that ice he’d built up inside finally melted away. “I have brain damage, remember? It takes me a little longer to figure things out.”

“Oh, is that what it is?” Relief and joy mixed through him to meld with the music drifting in the ballroom, already lightening his spirits. “And here I thought you just loved to see me suffer.”

“Only in the bedroom. And only when that suffering leads to pleasure for us both. Speaking of which…” She smiled against his shoulder. “I could go for a little of that pleasure, right now, in fact. If you don’t mind leaving this party early, that is.”

His whole body tightened at the erotic implications of her words. He couldn’t wait to get her home, strip her naked, and lay her out on his bed. On their bed.

He eased back, and his humor faded as he looked down at the woman he’d loved and lost and would never be stupid enough to let go again. Somewhere close he was aware of a camera bulb flashing but for the first time, he didn’t care. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry for not being honest with you. For not trusting what was happening between us. I was so afraid of losing you again that I did exactly what I was trying to stop. I pushed you right out of my arms. It won’t happen again. I promise. No more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” she agreed. “Unless it’s Christmas. Or my birthday. Or our anniversary. Come to think of it, today…” her eyes glinted with mischief “…this would be a good anniversary to remember in the future. The day we finally found our way back to each other.”

She was cracking jokes. His heart felt like it sprouted wings. Like it just might fly right out of his chest. His Annie—his Katie—was the only person in the world who knew exactly what he needed.

“I love you,” he whispered. “So damn much. So much more than I ever did before. Please don’t ever leave me.”

Her face softened. And love—a love he’d never expected to have again—shone in the depths of her green eyes under the sparkling chandelier lights. “Never again, Ryan. Never ever again.”