Wait for Me

Chapter Nineteen

Angela stepped out of the door at the end of the hall. A pink terry robe was belted around her waist. Fuzzy bunny slippers sat perched on her feet. A knowing smile curled her mouth. “Oh, good morning, honey. You look…refreshed.”

Heat flushed Kate’s cheeks. Crap. So much for hiding. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Um, I was just—”

Angela motioned toward the stairs. “Come on. Let’s get some coffee before the men wake up. We haven’t had any girl time yet.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Like Kate wanted that.

With no other option, Kate followed Ryan’s mother down the stairs, the whole time trying to think up a pithy excuse to get out of the morning’s chitchat. Her brain was complete mush after a night of sex. For the life of her, she couldn’t come up with anything clever.

She paused when she passed a mirror in the hall. Her mouth fell open at her reflection and she scrambled to fix her hair. Matted curls stuck out all over her head. Her mascara was smudged under her eyes, her lips swollen from Ryan’s kisses, her cheeks entirely too rosy first thing in the morning.

“Don’t worry,” Angela said without turning. “You just look like a very well-loved woman. I wonder if Ryan has any bagels in that kitchen of his.” She disappeared around the corner.

Kate closed her eyes. This was going from bad to worse faster than she could pray for an earthquake to hit and put her out of her misery.

Swallowing the rising bile, she eased into the kitchen. Angela was already making coffee.

“Look in the refrigerator for some cream cheese, would you, honey?”

Kate was going to kill Ryan; that’s all there was to it. Biting back the curses she wanted to mutter, she made her way to the gigantic stainless steel refrigerator and fished out cream cheese. When the coffee was done, Angela poured two mugs, then brought them and a plate of bagels to the table.

Kate sank into the chair beside her. The caffeine was the only thing that settled her nerves.

“Ryan tells me you’ve been having some trouble with Julia,” Angela said, sipping her drink.

Kate planned to have a chat with Ryan about the things he liked to tell. She shifted in her seat. “Some. This isn’t easy on her.”

“No, I don’t imagine it is. She was very young when you left. It was hard on both of them.”

Curiosity got the best of Kate, and she bit her lip, wrapping her foot around the leg of the chair. “Did Julia and I get along?”

“Oh, of course you did.” Angela smiled. “You were very close. Julia isn’t upset with you, honey. You have to understand that. She’s just afraid of going through all that again.”

“I would think most kids would be thrilled to have a parent back. But she’s fighting me every step of the way.”

Angela patted her hand. “Things were very hard for her. Ryan didn’t handle your leaving well.”

When Kate’s brow wrinkled, Angela eased back in her chair. “He loved you very much, more than he probably should have. Losing you broke him. He walked around in a daze for at least two years. I don’t honestly think he would have made it through without Julia.”

Kate’s eyes slid shut. If she weren’t already falling for Ryan Harrison, that one statement would have pushed her right over the edge. Her chest tightened until she was sure she wouldn’t be able to breathe.

“I think Julia’s afraid of what will happen to him if you decide not to stay,” Angela said softly.

Kate looked down at her coffee. Wisps of steam poured off the hot liquid. “I don’t know what’s going to happen there. I can’t make any promises either way. Ryan and I…” She lifted a shoulder and dropped it in defeat. “We haven’t made any decisions. But I’ll always be around for Julia. That will never change.”

Angela was silent for a minute, watching her speculatively. Finally, she reached for a bagel. “Ryan told you Michael’s not his real father, right?”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

Angela brushed her hair away from her face. “It’s not a surprise you two haven’t gotten around to family stories yet. Michael and I met in college. We fell madly in love, had this wild affair. But he joined the military, and we broke up. I met Kevin Harrison, Ryan’s real father, after Michael left. We got married, and a year later, Ryan was born.”

Her voice softened as she looked down into her mug. “Kevin was a wonderful man. That’s where Ryan gets his blond hair and blue eyes. And he adored Ryan.” She sighed. “He died in a car accident when Ryan was two.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Angela waved a hand. “It was awful when it happened. But then, a few months later, Michael came home. And it was as if we were still in college. Like no time had gone by at all. Wild chemistry, an unexplainable connection.” She smiled Kate’s way. “I’m sure you know what I mean.”

Heat flushed Kate’s cheeks again.

“Anyway,” Angela went on, “Kevin had only been gone a few months, and here I was, madly in love with another man again. I didn’t know what to do about it. I mean, back then especially, a widow was supposed to grieve for a respectable amount of time before moving on. Not me. No, ma’am. I jumped right into bed with the first man that came along.”

Kate couldn’t stifle the laugh that bubbled out. She covered her mouth with her hand, realizing how insensitive she was being.

Angela chuckled and set her mug down. “Exactly. Insane, right?”

When Kate glanced over, Angela clasped her hand. “Not really. Not when you think about it. God gave Kevin to me so we could make Ryan. He was a gift, one that I cherish forever. And when it was time for him to go, God gave me Michael. He knew exactly what Ryan and I needed. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love Kevin any less, just in a different way. Sometimes we spend way too much time questioning the gifts we’re given instead of being thankful for them.”

Kate closed her eyes. “This is a completely different situation.”

“Maybe,” Angela said. “Maybe not. Fate’s a finicky thing to mess with. Somehow you made your way back here to Ryan and Julia. There’s a reason for that.”

Angela’s words were still hanging in the air when Michael eased through the kitchen door wearing sweats and a Seahawks T-shirt. “What are you two doing up so early?” he asked as he headed toward the coffeepot.

Angela lifted her mug. “Kate was thirsty after a night of wild sex with our son.”

Heat shot up Kate’s face.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing her.” Ryan stepped into the room behind his father and flashed a quirky grin.

Holy hell. It couldn’t get any worse. Kate rubbed the scar along the side of her head. On shaky legs, she rose. “I need to go take a shower before my parents get up.”

“Don’t rush on their account,” Angela said after her. “Your parents’ room is right next to Ryan’s. We heard you all the way down the hall. I’m sure they did too.”

Kate’s eyes widened. She shot Ryan a look. With cheeks she knew were the color of strawberries, she made her way to the stairs as fast as she could.

Ryan caught up with her on the bottom step. He’d already showered; his hair was still damp, his body smelling clean and fresh. “Hold on a second.”

“You did that on purpose.” She tried to wiggle out of his arms, but he held her too tightly. “You knew your mother would be awake when I got up this morning.”

“Guilty. Maybe I’m tired of hiding this.”

“That was sneaky. And I don’t like it.”

“I agree. But you don’t have much of an excuse anymore. I’m going to have a chat with Julia later today.”

She stopped fighting. “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Standing one step up, she was just about the same height as him. His sapphire eyes drilled into hers as Angela’s words ran back through her mind. “I don’t want her to get hurt again.”

Those deep blue pools softened, tugging on Kate’s heart. “Then don’t give her any reason to get hurt. Move in with us.”

Kate’s eyes widened. That wasn’t the response she’d expected. “What? Are you crazy?”

A smile curled his mouth before he kissed her. She only stared at him. When he pulled back, those eyes were sparkling. “Yes. I am. Crazy in love with you. Julia needs time with you. Reed needs time with me. We all need a chance to get to know each other again. Driving back and forth between your place and mine won’t do that.”

“You’re nuts. I can’t just move in with you. Ryan, my God, it’s only been a week.”

“A week is like a lifetime to me. I want you in my house. I’ll even put up with you in the guest room for the time being if that’s what you want.”

The air clogged in her lungs. “Is that what you want?”

“Hell, no. I want you in my bed. Every night. But I won’t push you.”

Unexpected relief bubbled through her, insane thoughts that maybe he was right. “You’ve been pushing me from the start.”

When she leaned into him, she felt the smile that curled his mouth against her shoulder. “I guess maybe I have. Please tell me you’ll at least think about it.”

Her eyes slid closed, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. How could she fight him on this when deep down she knew it was what she wanted? “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

His arms tightened around her. “Thank you, Lord.”

Held firm in his embrace, she almost believed they could make this work. She eased back enough to look in his eyes. “I’d like to spend some one-on-one time with Julia today. I was thinking of taking her shopping.”

“I don’t want you out there alone right now.”

“Ryan, a few hours of shopping downtown won’t kill us. We’ll be in a crowd. I promise not to take her anywhere dangerous.”

She saw the hesitation in his eyes, so she pushed back. “You can’t keep me locked up here like a prisoner, you know.”

Indecision ran over him. Finally, he said, “Okay. I need to go into the office for a while. I can get John from security to go with you.

She shot him a look. “No way. I don’t need some security detail hovering over us when I’m trying to connect with Julia. That’ll make things worse.”

“Katie—”

“But I know how you worry,” she said quickly, seeing the persistence in his eyes. “So how about a compromise? I’ll call you to check in. Just to ease your mind.”

He frowned. “Every hour.”

She rolled her eyes. “God, you’re worse than a mother hen. Okay, every hour.”

The look in his eyes said he didn’t like the idea, but he wasn’t going to fight her. “Julia has softball practice this afternoon.”

“I can drop her off, then come back and get you.”

He nodded reluctantly. “I guess that could work.”

“Do you want a list of where we’re going too?” she asked, smiling. When his scowl deepened, she leaned in and kissed him. “Will you please let me go shower now before my parents get up?”

He let go of her, but she knew he was still watching her as she headed up the stairs.

“Need any help?” he called.

When she glanced back, the sly smirk tugging at his mouth almost did her in. Right or wrong, she had a sinking suspicion she was going to end up giving him exactly what he wanted.



***



“How about this one?” Kate held up a pink sweater.

“Pink? Are you serious?” With a huff Julia turned back to the rack she’d been studying. She pulled out a frayed, neon-green, fitted T-shirt that looked like it had been through the ringer. “I like this.” With a challenging smile, she held it out to Kate.

Across the front were the words, Pinch Me. I’m Hot and Sexy.

Metal clanged against metal when Kate grasped it and hooked it back on the rack. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

Kate wasn’t about to fall for it. She’d already seen Julia’s claws today. “Because you’re nine. And they won’t let you wear that at school. And your father would kill me if I bought that for you.”

“A lot you know. I go to a private school. We wear uniforms.”

Kate stood in the middle of the junior section, staring after Julia. No truer words had been uttered that day. A lot you know. That was the problem here. She didn’t know a lot when it came to Julia. Didn’t know anything, as a matter of fact.

Feeling like a failure, she followed Julia out of the store. They climbed into Ryan’s Jag, and the motor hummed to life. After texting Ryan for the hundredth time to give him a status update, Kate pulled into midafternoon traffic. She and Julia had spent the whole morning shopping and hadn’t agreed on a single thing. If it were possible, this little excursion had done more to damage their relationship than help it.

Kate rubbed her aching head.

“Where are we going?” Julia asked.

Kate changed lanes on the freeway. “I need to run out to my house and pick up a few things.”

Julia rolled her eyes and leaned back against the seat. “You could have dropped me off at home first.”

Kate bit back her temper. She wasn’t going to fall into Julia’s woe-is-me trap. She pulled off the freeway.

“Why aren’t you staying at your own house, anyway?” Julia asked.

“Didn’t your dad talk to you this morning?”

Julia crossed her arms and looked out the window. “Yeah, he did. It still doesn’t answer my question, though. I know why he wants you at the house, but why are you going along with him? You know you don’t want to be there.”

Kate’s fingers gripped the wheel as she made a turn. “I do want to be there, Julia. Your dad and I both think spending time together as a family will help all of us.”

“One big happy family? It won’t last. Not with you.” She turned so Kate couldn’t see her face.

Kate breathed deep, her temper almost to a breaking point. “What’s it going to take for you, Julia? I’ve been bending over backward trying to get to know you, but you keep butting heads with me. What do I need to do to prove I’m not leaving again? That I want a chance to make it up to you?”

“You want a chance?” Julia’s blazing eyes shot to her. “I’ll tell you what you can do. Stop seeing my dad.”

“What?” The car swerved around a corner. Roaring waves crashed against rock off to the right. Cliffs covered in brush rose to the left.

“You heard me. Stop seeing my dad. You don’t love him. You know you don’t. The longer you let this go on, the worse it’s going to be when you decide to leave again. You don’t have any idea what he was like before. I don’t want to go through that again!” Her gaze shot to the churning Pacific below.

Kate’s chest ached with a fierceness she didn’t expect. She wanted so badly to reach out to Julia, to comfort some of that raging anger, but she didn’t know how. Hearing the words from Julia’s lips reinforced all of Kate’s fears.

What would happen to Julia if this relationship didn’t work out? She couldn’t put Julia through that a second time. And what about Reed? He was falling for Ryan in a big way. If she moved in with Ryan like he wanted and then eventually left, it would kill Reed’s little spirit.

You don’t love him. You know you don’t.

That was the ultimate question, wasn’t it? She was wildly attracted to Ryan, felt deeply connected to him, but was that love?

What she felt for Ryan was stronger than anything she’d ever felt before. She knew that, could admit it. Her heart told her it was love, but her mind was left questioning her judgment. She’d been so wrong about Jake. She didn’t want to make another horrible mistake. Acting on an impulse would only make things worse. She had to be sure.

The car whipped around the next corner, faster than Kate realized. She eased her foot to the brake.

Nothing happened.

Confusion gripping her, she pressed down again. When the car still didn’t slow, she pumped the brake. Instead of slowing, they seemed to pick up speed down the hill.

Fear prickled Kate’s skin. She tried to keep her voice calm. “Julia, climb into the backseat. Put your seat belt on and—”

“Why?”

“Listen to me! The brakes aren’t working. Get in the back now! Snap your seat belt and hold on. Do it!”

Julia’s eyes grew wide. Without another word, she climbed into the back.

Kate’s mind tumbled as she recalled the road. Ahead were some curves followed by a downgrade, which would inevitably speed them up, and another curve followed by a steady incline with a curve at the top. If she could keep the car under control until they got to the slope, they had a chance.

She pulled on the emergency brake, but nothing happened. Her heart raced, and she glanced at the dash. A quarter of a tank of gas—it wouldn’t run out in time. She swallowed the fear. “Julia. My purse is in the backseat. Find my cell phone. Call nine-one-one.”

Julia fumbled with Kate’s purse. “Can’t you just turn the car off?”

“No. The steering will lock up if I do. I’m going to try to downshift. Hold on, it’s going to give us a jolt.”

She held the wheel with one hand and shifted the automatic transmission into third gear. Sweat trickled down her back, but the shift was smooth, slowing them only slightly. She was already into a curve, trying as hard as she could to keep the car on the road. She downshifted again when the road straightened. The car bucked slightly.

They slowed down a little, enough to make the next two turns, then hit the downgrade. Kate tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

Julia’s muffled voice drifted to the front of the car as she spoke to the nine-one-one operator in a panicked tone.

They weren’t going to die like this. Kate drew in courage. She wouldn’t let them.

The car picked up speed, whipped around the next curve. A muffled sob tore from Julia as her body slid against the side of the car. Kate downshifted one more time into first, sending them rocketing forward.

Her hands were wet with sweat when she made the next turn, and the car whipped across the road, tires skidding over gravel. Julia screamed. Kate’s muscles tensed, and she managed to straighten out the car. It slowed considerably. Optimism settled over Kate for the first time since realizing the brakes were out.

Then her eyes caught the last turn coming up.

Oh, shit. They weren’t going to make it. She glanced down to check their speed. They were still going too fast. She’d miscalculated the number of turns. They should be on the rise by now, but they weren’t.

The road veered off sharply to the left. Ahead and to the right, the cliff dropped thirty feet to a small bay. If she tried to make the turn, they’d roll. She knew it. They’d roll down the embankment and most likely die.

She had only a split second to make a decision.