Vicious Circles

Chapter 6

Looking back, I would say that what happened between Mason and I wasn’t a mistake…it just happened too soon. I can take stock of my life today and know that if I had the chance to go back and change things I would. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache…

Mid-June 2009

I wasn’t one to ask for much, especially money…but when the time got low on my handy little cell phone I panicked and almost begged Mason to buy some more airtime. Any day the call would come through that decided my fate, any day.

Two weeks, two long weeks had passed since my acting epiphany.

Mason was smooth enough to talk me into staying over every now and then. I only hung around when his roommates were gone. That was a conversation I wasn’t quite ready for.

“OK, I had to go to three different gas stations but I found one,” Mason said, getting in his car and tossing me the card.

“Good thing I sat here and read my magazine then,” I said with a laugh.

“You saw me walking all over hell and creation…yet you sat here, in the air conditioner and read Star magazine? You know that shit will rot your brain right?”

I fake pouted. “I like fake gossip. It makes the day go by faster.”

He started the car and pulled out into traffic. “All I have to say is, if you were in that piece of crap rag mag then your story would be different.”

“Don’t be a hater because no one writes lies about you, Mason.”

He rolled his eyes and turned the stereo on, drowning me out. Ignoring his attempt to ignore me, I scratched the back off the air card and added the time to my phone. I snapped it shut and dropped it in my bag. My head fell back against the black leather seat, my eyes trained on the passing sights. We had spent a lot of time just driving around in his car, listening to the radio and basking in the silence.

“Have you ever been to the Santa Monica Pier?” He asked me suddenly.

I was slightly startled but answered. “Yeah, about a year ago.” My eyes fell back to the passing buildings and cars.

“What about Malibu?”

“I’ve never been to Malibu. Why are you interrogating me?” I shot him a trademark hateful look.

His mouth opened to answer but the shrill, annoying ringer on my phone interrupted him. Our eyes went to my bag on the floor.

“It’s them,” I said, practically diving for the phone. As much as the seat belt would allow anyway. “Hello?” I sounded like I’d just ran a marathon.

“Ms. Michaels…this is Julie. We met at the casting.”

“Yes, hi.” What was the protocol on talking to casting directors? There was some paper shuffling and I wanted to choke Julie for making me wait.

“Well, it’s great news, Fallyn. We would like to offer you the role and congratulate you on such an amazing audition.”

My heart faltered a bit with her words. I got it…I GOT IT. “Thank you so much for calling, Julie. This means a lot to me, honestly.” I could see Mason’s eyes grow big from the corner of my eye.

“I’ll give you a call back tomorrow for times and locations; those aren’t in stone yet. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

I skipped saying goodbye in my mindless, numb moment. I knew subconsciously that Mason had pulled into some random apartment complex and that he stopped the car, hopped out and ran around to my side. His arms wrapped around my entire upper body and yanked me from the car.

“You got it didn’t you?” He almost yelled.

We spun around once and some of the shock wore off. “I f*cking got the part. I got the part. How did this happen?” My face most certainly wore a look of complete surprise.

Mason set my feet down against the blacktop. “You went in there and showed those people what raw talent looks like. That’s how.”

His green eyes burned into mine. There was a slight blush of color against his cheeks but that could have been the heat. Best of all, he was smiling.

“I can’t believe this happened.” I grabbed a bit of his shirt in my fist and pulled him close. “Mason, this is because of you. No one has given me any hope…ever. I would still be rotting away in the forgotten parts of LA if you hadn’t been so damn persistent.”

He actually looked slightly uncomfortable but quickly recovered. I knew Mason Jennings was an excellent actor without ever seeing any of his work. “You went in that place and blew them away; that was all you.” A sly smile grew along his lips. “That means I get to take you to dinner.”

“I don’t like that look. You know my rules. No raw fish, no ginormous steaks and no McDonalds.”

He was already around the hood of his vehicle. “Get your ass in the car.”

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“You need something to wear. I’ll call and get a reservation while you look.” He shifted the car in gear without batting an eye, as if buying some homeless girl a nice dress was shit he did all the time.

“Mason,” I half laughed-half snorted, “you can’t buy me a dress.”

“Uh-uh,” he shook his head back and forth. “You said I could take you out when you got the part. No take backs.”

I scrunched my nose and looked at the small row of stores he was approaching with disdain. “Are you f*cking five?”

He pulled a one hundred dollar bill from his wallet. I was scared to take it from him. “Just take the money and find a dress.”

I sighed and unhooked my seatbelt. “Fine, but I won’t have fun.” I made sure to snatch the money extra nasty-like to emphasize my dislike of the whole situation.

The store smelled like lilacs and my immediate thought was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Only difference was, I would poke a bitch in the eye. Luckily no one approached me and I browsed the colorful dresses in peace. Somehow black seemed to be what I kept going to. Black was always a smart choice.

I wasn’t completely ignorant. I knew my size and I knew what was happening as far as style around Hollywood. The simple pair of black heels, tucked away in my backpack came to mind when I finally found the dress.

A slight v-neck, calf length…perfect. I paid as quickly as I could and practically sprinted from the store. Mason was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. I dropped the change in the driver’s seat through the open window.

“How did it go?” He questioned through a puff of smoke.

“I would rather not talk about it. I found one, thank you.” I shielded my eyes from the sun and crossed in front of the hood to get back in the car.

***

Makeup was not something I used often. I couldn’t put it on and in the end I never thought I looked any good with it on. For some reason, I felt like I had to wear it with that damn dress. One of Mason’s roommates came home while I was holed up in the bathroom, but lucky me; he grabbed something and left again.

“We’re going to be late,” Mason called while pounding on the door.

“Jesus, I’m ready…calm the f*ck down.” I swung the door open with force to knock him back into the hall a bit.

‘Whoa.” He stared at me, silently. Half his face was hidden in the shadows but from the eye that was visible I could tell he was impressed.

“It’s the dress,” I said shyly.

He turned and walked toward the front door. “No, I still say it’s your eyes.”

I almost didn’t hear him. He’d spoken the words so low I didn’t know if I was even meant to hear them. I didn’t respond in case they weren’t for my ears.

Like a gentleman he opened the car door for me and then closed it behind me. I fussed over the placement of my dress as he made his way to the driver’s side and got in. He tapped the clock, probably because we were running a little late.

“I think we’ll make it,” he said confirming my thoughts.

The whole thing was surreal. The atmosphere screamed date but could I really call it that? He hadn’t asked me out, per se. It was more of an agreement.

“Shit,” Mason swore.

I turned my eyes forward to the cause of his anger. Traffic, of course. “We’ll never make it on time in this traffic.”

“Well, aren’t you full of optimism tonight…” He laughed but I could tell he was still pissed.

“Look, I’m sorry I took so long to get ready.”

“Fallyn, you didn’t cause the traffic. This is Hollywood.” His hand left the gear shift, grazing mine on the way to his phone.

“Are you calling the restaurant?”

He nodded with the phone already to his ear. I listened to his side of the conversation which wasn’t going so well. “I don’t understand, I made a reservation…Why can’t you hold it?…”

“It’s not a big deal,” I said when he dropped the phone back into the cup holder between us.

“We aren’t going to make it, I’m sorry.”

The dinner must have meant more to him than I originally thought. His eyes told me right away. He had definitely tried and in my own eyes he had done more than enough for me to begin with. I gathered my nerve and placed my left hand on his right thigh. It was the first time we’d really touched since the night I tried to seduce him.

“Mason, I appreciate everything you’ve done. I’m wearing a new dress. No man has ever bought me a dress. We could swing through the drive thru at In and Out for all I f*cking care. I could eat anything looking like this and still be happy.”

The smile returned which made me warm inside. Something told me he wasn’t appreciated often.

“I like In and Out…” He eyed the street to the right of us. “I can turn here and find us one, if that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want,” I confirmed with a grin.

***

Mason and I sat across from one another, legs crossed with In and Out paraphernalia scattered all around us. Our candle was a Wal-mart nightlight, plugged into the nearest outlet. We talked about anything that came to mind, including the part I’d just got. He toasted me with his value meal cup full of Sierra Mist and I laughed my ass off.

“You look beautiful in the soft glow of this night light.”

Hopefully, he couldn’t see the blush that consumed my face. “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t every day someone told me I looked beautiful.

I stretched my legs out in front of me, the only pair of decent heels I owned were still on my feet. Mason leaned over and swung my feet into his lap. I looked on, stunned as he removed the shoes from my feet. I wiggled my toes as soon as they were free, refusing to meet his gaze. His hands ran up each of my legs, slowly. I uncrossed my ankles, confused but ready for anything he wanted to give me.

“It’s like you understand me,” he said softly. “We don’t really know anything about each other…is that bad?’

My body was screaming as he gripped my knees and pulled me forward until I was straddling his lap. “Knowing someone is more than words.” My voice sounded strangled.

His breath was warm and the slight aroma of In and Out onions were there. I rolled my head to the right, willing him to kiss my neck. We pressed our bodies together tightly, both searching for something. In that moment I felt like myself again. I was a normal girl, enjoying the company of a normal guy. All the shit fell away as soon as his lips met mine. I had no idea what would happen after, or if we would even be able to speak to each other in the morning but honestly, I didn’t care.

Mason grabbed my dress and yanked it up, breaking our kiss only to pull it over my head. We’d been in the same position before, but I could tell by his frantic movements that he intended to have sex with me.

Desperation took over and I scrambled to remove every piece of his clothing. Somehow, we were there, together. All our clothes had been littered along the floor with the burger wrappers. Mason and I stopped our exploring and just took a good look at one another.

“It’s okay,” I whispered and rolled so he was hovering above me.

With the blessing I assumed he was waiting for, his lips met mine once again. He sighed and flipped us so I was on top of him. I didn’t move right away. Instead I looked down and studied the lust written all over Mason’s face. His hands never stopped roaming my body and it was almost too much. How could I ever let another man touch me after he had? I felt ruined.