Under the Open Sky

Chapter Thirty-Two

Amanda sat at a table at the drive in and smiled at the teens around her. She had already finished her meal and was people watching. The night was cool but not unbearable and everyone seemed to be enjoying the temperatures before cold became the norm. Jenny had claimed Cadey-Lynn and ordered Amanda to get out of the house. Now Amanda was trying to figure what to do with herself.

One of the teenage boys across the way was showing off for one of the girls and Amanda couldn’t help laughing. She remembered being that young and full of hope and expectations once. She had been impatient to grow up and be able to call the shots, so certain she could make it all go her way. These kids had no idea how cruel a trickster life could be and she was glad they didn’t. They deserved their shot at making it go their way.

“Hey, Amanda.”

Amanda glanced up sharply and blinked a moment before her thoughts were able to return to the present.

“Reece, hi; I’m sorry I was somewhere else altogether,” Amanda greeted the vet.

“I could see that. Makes you nostalgic doesn’t it?” Reece nodded to where the teens were still cutting up.

“It does,” she admitted with a smile.

“Mind if I sit down; I feel a little outnumbered here?”

“Sure,” Amanda hoped her voice didn’t give away the reluctance she felt.

“Thanks. How are you, Amanda?”

“I’m good, thanks. Jenny ran me out of the house tonight; the trouble is I don’t know what to do with free time anymore. I’m either helping on the ranch or caring for my daughter most the time.”

“Sounds lonely,” Reece noted.

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “I’d go crazy if not for my daughter.”

“What’s your story, Amanda? You are a beautiful woman and I’ve seen at church that you have plenty of admirers; so what’s your story?”

“My story?” Amanda shook her head. “I fell in love with a man, my father and brother didn’t approve and I guess the long and the short is he didn’t fight for me,” Amanda admitted. “I thought he would; thought he left me a message as such, but I guess I misread things.”

“I’m sorry. That must hurt,” Reece’s grey eyes were probing.

“It did, but I am a Jennings, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” she informed him.

“Brave words.”

“Yes, now I just have to believe them,” she gave him a self-mocking smile and watched him grin. He had a nice smile. “What is your story?”

“I’m a veterinarian, I have a very loving mother, father, and little sister at home, I worked my way through college, and I love what I do. I loved a girl once; she decided she didn’t love me. My practice is good, oh and I’m single. Did I mention I’m single,” Reece’s grin was teasing.

Amanda felt heat rise in her cheeks and a smile spread across her face.

“Right. I’ve enjoyed talking, Reece, but I should probably go,” Amanda gathered her purse.

“You just said you didn’t know what to do with yourself; stay. I’m only making conversation, Mandy.”

“Maybe for a minute,” Amanda reluctantly agreed.

“How old are you Amanda?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Wow.”

“What?” Amanda frowned at him.

“You carry a lot to be so young,” he noted.

This man was direct, his gaze was direct; it made her nervous.

“You do what you have to. How old are you?”

“Twenty-nine,” he answered.

“Uh oh, almost the big three-o,” she teased.

“Does that make me old?” he asked his smile wide.

“No,” she smiled back.

“Good, I like to think it means I’m old enough to have learned a few things.”

“Like what?” Amanda demanded.

He shook his head and wiggled a finger at her. “Uh uh, you don’t get that kind of information from a first conversation.”

“Technically this is our second conversation,” she corrected him.

“I might be convinced to share my wisdom, say over dinner next Friday night?” Reece offered.

Amanda was smiling as she glanced down, she was flattered but uncertain. “I don’t know, Reece; I’ve tried dating. It didn’t go so well.”

“Why not?”

“It just wasn’t there.”

“So it couldn’t be there with someone else?”

“Kevin is probably one of the nicest guys I know. We had dated in high school and when our paths crossed again I decided to try it. If I can’t fall for a guy as nice as he is…”

“Was there chemistry there for you in high school?” Reece’s question caught her off guard.

“No.”

“So why did you assume you could force it now? Nice isn’t the only factor in a relationship, Amanda. There are a lot of nice guys out there; you should give them a chance at least. Are you going to sit on the side lines and let life pass you by?”

Amanda stared at him, both frustrated that he had called her out and wondering why she had thought she might feel differently about Kevin now.

“I have to go,” Amanda stood.

Reece stood as well.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Amanda. I enjoyed talking to you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Amanda knew her smile was strained.

Amanda sat in her Jeep wondering what she was supposed to do now. If she went home this early Jenny would fuss. With a sigh, Amanda started her car and drove around aimlessly. She found herself unwittingly visiting the haunts of her teen and college years. When she found herself at the fire tower she turned off her Jeep and stepped into the clearing. It was abandoned tonight, too cool this high up to be enjoyed by the teens. She eyed the structure remembering how she had boldly climbed to the top with Jenny.

Amanda smiled and removed her shoes before sprinting across the distance and grabbing the bar. A moment later she was on the treads, though it hadn’t been as effortless as she had found it at fifteen. She climbed to the top and leaned against one corner of the structure and scanned the valley below. It was so beautiful up here.

Amanda closed her eyes and remembered the last time she had been up here and one by one sifted through her memories as she let her tears fall; the cold breeze quickly dried them to salty trails on her cheeks. She had to let go; she just wished she knew how to do that. That night she wrote:

Cade,

Tonight I drove around town, remembering all the fun we had together and all the kindness you showed me. I suppose that is what makes all of this so hard. I felt as though I knew you and yet it appears I didn’t. Reece, the new vet in town, said some things to me that really made sense, even if I didn’t want them to. He wants to go out with me. He makes me nervous, though I suppose that’s not a bad thing. You made me nervous; you made me so very nervous that I felt scrambled up inside. Maybe that was the problem, Cade; things burned so very hot between us, you know what they say about that.

I found myself at the fire tower tonight. Do you remember that night we conspired to get Trent out of the house and ended up there? I climbed to the top again. I don’t know how long I stood there remembering and crying and in my own way saying good bye. I have to move on; I can’t stand still any longer watching life as a by stander. I suppose I’ll continue to write; I think it helps me sort things out, though I no longer hold any hope that you’ll be reading the words I write here. I miss you; I always will.

“Ugh! Where is my cute basketball belly, like you had?” Jenny demanded as she stood in front of a mirror in the maternity store. “I’m not pregnant in my belly; I’m pregnant all over!”

“You look fine,” Amanda assured her friend.

“I look awful! I am so glad your brother has already married me; he’d never go for me looking like this.”

“My brother adores the ground you walk on, pregnant belly and all. I didn’t know Mr. Thick Skull Jennings could be so gentle with a person,” Amanda assured her friend.

“You said you were going to start dating, Mandy; when?”

Though Amanda had promised herself she was going to start moving forward and dating she had yet to take anyone up on their offer. Not since the debacle with Kevin.

“Cadey-Lynn is now two years old, Mandy; it’s been almost three years. I want you to be as happy as I am now, maybe have another child. As much as you love being a mother, you can’t tell me you don’t want more.”

“You just said you’re fat and miserable,” Amanda countered.

“No, I said I look awful and I’m pregnant all over,” Jenny corrected her. “So how does it look? Like a tent?”

“You aren’t even that big yet,” Amanda rolled her eyes.

“I know what we could do,” Jenny’s eyes lit.

“What?”

“We could invite that hunky new vet out to the ranch. He certainly seemed to shake you up that night in town.”

“That hunky vet, as you put, is entirely too forward.”

“Yeah, because you like subtle men?” Now Jenny was rolling her eyes. “Come on, Amanda; let the hunky new vet shake things up a little,” Jenny grinned teasingly.

“I don’t need things shaken up,” Amanda protested.

“I don’t know, shaking things up can be kinda fun,” Jenny’s eyes twinkled.

“Go try the next outfit; we’re here to shop,” Amanda grumbled.

“Fine,” Jenny sighed and turned back to the dressing rooms.