“It’s okay, we can work with that,” Drew reassures me.
“Why would it need to be private? It’s just a race. And everyone here knows what’s going on. They wouldn’t be here if they have a problem with it,” Liz explains.
She’s right. Everyone here had received an invitation with an explanation of what was going on today, so I guess they know what they’ll be seeing. I suppose I just hadn't thought about the fact that they’d be seeing me. Oh well, I want to get a spark back so I guess this is as good a way as any.
Liz wishes us good luck and runs off to greet more people and let them know what race tent they are in. Drew and I make our way over to the beer tent next to where I will be racing. He gets in line and orders a beer for each of us.
“Chug it. You look like you could use this,” he informs me as he hands me a plastic cup overflowing with beer.
I down the beer as fast as I can and hand him the empty cup. He sets it down and moves behind me to rub my shoulders.
“I’ve been scoping out the competition in our tent. There are a few old people who look scared. That one chick in the purple shirt looks tough, but see how she’s tapping her foot? She’s nervous. You’re calm as a cucumber. That’s how you’re going to win this thing. Show no fear, baby. Maybe you should stretch,” Drew advises.
As he continues to massage my shoulders, I roll my head from side to side and shake out my hands. I grab onto my elbow and pull my arm across the front of my body, repeating the action with my other arm. Liz makes an announcement over the microphone that the first heats will be starting in ten minutes. Drew turns me around to face him and holds my face in his hands.
“Repeat after me. I’m a winner.”
“I’m a winner,” I tell him.
“I’m more awesome than all these people,” he states.
“I’m more awesome than all these people.”
“If I win this thing, I will take my husband home and fuck his brains out.”
I stare at him for a minute, raising my eyebrow at his statement.
“SAY IT!”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “If I win this thing, I will take my husband home and fuck his brains out.”
Drew sniffles. “I think I’m going to cry.”
“What’s up, assholes?” Jim asks as he walks up to us with Carter and Claire.
“Just giving Jenny a last minute pep talk before the race,” Drew informs him.
“There’s no need for that,” Carter says. “Claire is going to kick everyone’s ass.”
Drew laughs and shakes his head. “Oh that’s hilarious, limp dick! I know for a fact that Jenny will be the victor.”
“The Victor? Who’s Victor? Is that like some vibrator champion or something? Is the race named after this Victor guy?”
Claire pats my shoulder and just smiles at me. I guess she already knows about Victor. I’m always the last to know everything.
“What toy did she pick?” Carter asks Drew.
“The silver bullet, baby!”
Carter laughs and shakes his head. “Seriously? The bullet is like the grandfather of vibrators. Are you sure it can last long enough without needing to take a nap? There’s no way that thing is going to win.”
Drew crosses his arms and glares at Carter. “Really? So what amazing vibrator is Claire using?”
Carter smirks and wraps his arms around Claire’s waist from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. “The brand new, hot from the factory Butterfly FX 2000.”
It’s Drew’s turn to laugh now and he throws his head back, letting out a loud chuckle. “The Butterfly FX 2000? You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s child’s play! Have you even read the reviews on that thing? Did you conduct wind velocity tests and check water submersion quality? You can’t go into this thing half cocked, my friend. You guys really should leave this race to the professionals.”
“How about we put a little wager on the race?” Jim asks, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. “I’ve got ten bucks on Jenny.”
Claire gives him a dirty look. “Hey!”
“Sorry,” Jim says with a shrug. “Jenny kind of is an expert with these things. You’ve only been doing this for a little while. She’s got years on you.”
The men all place their bets and Jim holds on to the money since he doesn’t have a wife in the race. Liz makes another announcement over the microphone that everyone should get into their assigned tents because the races are starting. Claire and I are going to be in the same tent for the first heat and that calms my nerves quite a bit. Even though Drew will be close by, having a friend with me makes me even more comfortable.